APA style and citations for dummies - Joe Giampalmi 2021

Whittling words
Covering all bases: three-level revising
Earning applause: APA writing for the academic audience

The English language contains a little more than a million words. The average English speaker navigates daily life within a range of 20,000 to 35,000 words and writes with approximately a thousand words. No academic writer should experience a word shortage, but many academic writers neglect to practice word diversity and overuse a smaller selection of words — like excessively repeating a favorite spoken expression.

Precise writing results from deleting unnecessary words and revising overused words. Excessive words are like excessive calories: they’re unhealthy for the writer and the reader. Writing becomes precise with accurate and economical words. A healthy vocabulary includes a daily diet of action verbs and specific nouns. Because excessive and overused words bore and distract readers, fewer and precise words produce clearer meaning and add power to writing, like 5G wideband service.

Whittle your words, and say more with less as you apply these word-revision strategies.

Unnecessary and overused words

Inexperienced writers incorrectly believe increasing sentence length improves writing clarity. Unclear ideas with twenty words are not clarified with forty words, just as wearing additional shoes does not improve dancing. Figure out how to say more with less as you apply word-level revising strategies that eliminate unnecessary words, avoid overused words, and prune verbs.

Word-level revision strategies include the following.

· Delete unnecessary words by applying the “need test” — evaluating the need for every word contributing to reader understanding.

· Unnecessary words: Cover up all the plants.

· Revised: Cover up all the plants.

· Is cover needed for reader understanding? (yes) up? (no) all? (no, unless emphasis is needed) the? (yes, for fluency).

· Unnecessary words: The driving rule of no texting while driving is strictly enforced in all states.

· Revised: No texting while driving is strictly enforced nationally.

· Avoid the redundancy of The driving rule of and the rule itself. In all states can be reduced to nationally. Please avoid texting while driving.

· Avoid overused words. Overused words (such as nice) lack precision and cloud reader comprehension. For example, a nice day in Alaska differs from a nice day in Hawaii by about 40 degrees. An awful research grade could be C, D, or F, and in some circumstances, B. Avoid overused words such as the following:

· Adjectives: beautiful, great, grand, super, amazing, tremendous, fantastic, terrible, awful, horrible, pretty (good), cute, adorable, awesome, outstanding, and phenomenal

· Adverbs: very, really, truly, even, extremely, and fine

· Nouns: thing, gadget, factor, aspect, way, case, individual, and stuff

· Verbs: seems, appears, claims, went, got, affected, and did

· Revise overused words with specific words.

· Overused: We had an awesome day at the amusement park.

· Revised: Our day at the amusement park included swimming, volleyball, music, pizza, and, of course, the state's highest roller coaster.

· Overused: The roads were extremely treacherous.

· Revised: The roads were covered with snow and ice.

· Overused: What’s that thing on the table?

· Revised: What’s that tool on the table?

· Avoid the following clichés common to college writing:

· in this day and age

· level playing field

· time and time again

· take one for the team

· worst nightmare

· eye for an eye

· one in a million

· perfect example

· moment of truth

· my whole life

· bottom line

· smell the roses

· last but not least

· prime example

· made my day

· back in the day

· Avoid repetitious word combinations. For example, “illegal” means not according to law. The phrase “under the law” used with “illegal” is repetitious. Avoid repetition in the following examples:

· illegal under the law

· baby puppies

· long-lasting durability

· two twins

· combine together

· perfect square

· very unique

· repeat again

· the month of June

· striped zebra

· six years of age

· adequate enough

· big in size

· both of them

· argued back and forth

· red in color

· six a.m. in the morning

· repeat again

· round circle

· nod in agreement

· close proximity

· added bonus

· protest against

· sat down

· visible to the eye

· expensive in cost

· true facts

· null and void

· Avoid vague, fashionable words. Some words appear, disappear, and reappear as often as clothing styles. Avoid coined words ending with the following.

· -wise: weather-wise, money-wise, job-wise

· -oriented: summer-oriented, math-oriented

· -conscious: grade-conscious, car-conscious

· -ish: sixish, sickish, smoothish

· -happy: clothes-happy, concert-happy

· -type: outdoor-type, gaming-type

· -phobia: chemistry-phobia, car-phobia

· forced plurals: the Harvards and the Ben Franklins

Revise vague words with specific words.

· Vague: Weather-wise, driving east was good.

· Revised: We drove east during sunshine and warm temperatures.

· Vague: College students are grade-conscious.

· Revised: College students work hard for their A's and B’s.

Verb and ly-adverb combinations

Verb and “ly” adverb combinations are words that signal a need for a precise verb. Reduce combinations such as the following:

· Wordy: Please quickly read this assignment.

· Revised: Please skim this assignment.

· Wordy: Drinking water too quickly can cause choking.

· Revised: Gulping water can cause choking.

The road to C-level college writing is paved with adverbs and adjectives. The road to A-level college writing is paved with action verbs and specific nouns. Choosing good roads makes writing and life smoother.

Superfluous verb endings

Avoid superfluous verb endings. Delete verb tails such as the following:

· divide up

· write down

· rest up

· join up

· cool down

· join with

· stand up

· finish up

· cover up

· connect up

· head up

· pay up

· start up

· fall down

· polish up

· clean up

· Wordy: After hours of outdoor play, the young children were asked to settle down.

· Revised: After hours of outdoor play, the young children were asked to relax.

· Wordy: The bursar’s office expects students to pay up before registering for classes.

· Revised: The bursar’s office expects students to pay before registering for classes.

Because you also learn language from your sense of hearing, read your paper aloud (with what your elementary teacher called your “one-foot voice”) and listen for expressions that sound too familiar, overused, and exclusively used in the spoken language — the previous examples of wordiness.

Analyze the sentence revisions in the following examples and see if you recognize wordy patterns common to your writing. Word count for unrevised and revised sentences appears in parentheses. Challenge yourself to revise the revisions and further reduce their word counts.

· Unrevised: Eliminate all words in a sentence that can be crossed out without losing any of the meaning in that sentence. (20)

Revised: Eliminate wordiness. (2)

The sentence subject is understood to be you. Reduce all words in a sentence that can be crossed out without losing any of the meaning in that sentence to wordiness. The pronoun that signals potential wordiness.

· Unrevised: Parents were happy at their children’s college graduation. (8)

Revised: Parents cheered their children’s college graduation. (6)

Revise were happy to cheered, which shows the happy action.

· Unrevised: The game of baseball changed because of analytics. (10)

Revised: Analytics changed baseball. (3)

Analytics caused the change. Follow the subject with the completed action changed. The game of can be deleted because baseball names the game.

· Unrevised: She made another shot into the net. (7)

Revised: She scored another goal. (4)

Scored offers a more specific reader-visual than made. Revise another shot into the net to the precise goal.

· Unrevised: Following all these steps will have a high impact on whether or not the team will be successful. (18)

Revised: These steps will determine team success. (5)

Steps (the subject) performs the action. Reduce will have a high impact on whether or not the team to determine.

· Unrevised: Feeling that I knew what I could do, I enrolled in advanced calculus. (13)

Revised: Feeling confident, I enrolled in Advanced Calculus. (7)

Reduce that I knew what I could do to the precise confident. That identifies a revision opportunity. Capitalize course names.

· Unrevised: Because of the way things were done in the past, graduation was once again scheduled off campus. (17)

Revised: Because of tradition, graduation was scheduled off campus. (8)

Reduce the way things were done in the past to the precise tradition.

· Unrevised: Before a graduation date is determined, the board of trustees and student government must be in agreement. (17)

Revised: Trustees and student government must agree on a graduation date. (10)

Trustees and student government, the sentence subject, are performing the action. Reduce must be in agreement to must agree on.

· Unrevised: The person who was sick was taken out of the stadium. (11)

Revised: First responders assisted the sick spectator from the stadium. (9)

Because the performer of the action is unidentified, determine that first responders assisted the sick person. Revise general person to specific spectator, assuming the person was attending a stadium event. Reduce was taken out to assisted.

· Unrevised: Washington D.C. is the capital of the U.S. Eleven Smithsonian museums are located there. (15)

Revised: Washington D.C. houses 11 Smithsonian museums. (6)

Assume your audience knows Washington D.C. is the capital of the United States. Revise are located with specific houses. Review APA rules for numbers in Chapter 7.

· Unrevised: It is a sport that is heavily mixed with the ancient culture of Japan. (14)

Revised: Sumo wrestling incorporates Japan’s ancient culture. (6)

Revise it is by identifying the performer of the action and the sentence topic Sumo wrestling. Revise wordy that is heavily mixed with to precise incorporates. Reduce the prepositional phrase of Japan to the adjective Japan’s.

· Unrevised: Rappers made their way into the fashion world. (9)

Revised: Rappers invaded the fashion world. (5)

Replace the wordy verb idea have made their way into with the precise and active invaded. Alternate verb choices include infiltrated and burst.