Accepted! 50 successful college admission essays - Gen Tanabe, Tanabe Kelly 2008
How humor can kill an essay
The essay-writing workshop
The dean of undergraduate admission at Case Western
Reserve University recalls when humor failed
A humorous essay can be one of the best types to write. With a stack of essays to read, admission offi cers appreciate clever writing that makes them laugh. However, writing one of these essays is extremely diffi cult. Unless you have had experience with humor, we generally recommend that you don’t rely on it to carry your essay.
William T. Conley, dean of undergraduate admission at Case Western Reserve University, always warns potential applicants to be cautious about using humor. Conley says, “Unfortunately a lot of adolescent humor can too often appear to be cynical, almost mean spirited even if unintentional. It’s very hard to translate your humor from voice to paper. I’ve seen students succeed wonderfully because they can write humor effortlessly and others fail and fall fl at on their face.”
Conley recalls one incident where attempted humor totally bombed. He says, “I remember one essay where the student tried to be humorous and wrote about how smart he was and how he was smarter than all his teachers. Well, I used to be a teacher, and I wasn’t laughing.”
If you do attempt to write a humorous essay, be sure to have an adult read it and verify that it is funny. Remember that if you don’t laugh at your parents’ jokes, they probably don’t laugh at yours either.
admission offi cers most certainly do not want to be lectured. Essays that try to impress with pseudo-intellectualism are defi nite candidates for the trash bin.
Remember the goal of the essay. Admission offi cers want to learn about the kind of person you are and the things that you have done. However, if your passion is reading Marx, then by all means write about it, but put it in perspective. Write about how you became interested in Marxism or its personal signifi cance to you.
11. DON’T write a resume. A resume is the place where you detail your educational background, activities and jobs in terms of years of participation, titles and responsibilities. This should not be the topic of your college admission essay. Yet we have seen many students turn in essays that simply list their achievements like a resume, repeating information found elsewhere in the application and adding little if any insight.
12. DON’T try to second-guess what the admission offi cer wants to read. There are very few topics that you should avoid and there is absolutely no “correct” way to write an essay. Don’t be afraid to try something unconventional and don’t kill a good idea just because you think the admission offi cers wouldn’t like it. If you care about your subject and it is important to you, the admission offi cers will appreciate your essay.
13. DON’T wait until the last minute. We have said before that the only way to test a topic is to write. We have emphasized that the only way to improve an essay is to keep re-writing. All of this requires time.
One of the students who shared his essay in this book went through 20 drafts before he was fi nished. It took a lot of work, but his fi nal product was worth the effort. The earlier you start writing the better. Plus, you want to make sure that you have time after your editors see your work to be able to make changes. Always allow yourself two to three times the time that you think it will take to write the essay.
14. DON’T generalize. Don’t just say that you are a strong leader. Detail an example of when you’ve been a leader. Describe how you felt, what you did to motivate others and what you learned from the experience. Admission offi cers want details and examples from your life, not generalizations.
15. DON’T say it, show it. The best essays bring the readers into the middle of the action and help them see what the writer sees and hear what the writer hears. Appeal to the different senses. What can the reader see from your essay? Hear? Smell? (Hopefully nothing rot-ten.) The more you can draw the reader into your essay by using rich description the better.
16. DON’T get lazy with sentences. To write a truly memorable essay, each sentence needs to captivate the audience. That means that every sentence and each word in each sentence has to do its job of advancing the story or making a particular point. If you don’t need a word or sentence get rid of it. Don’t settle for a long, convoluted sentence when a shorter one will do. Be very disciplined and make every word count.
17. DON’T start the essay with “my name is. ” We don’t usually dedicate a mistake to a specifi c phrase, but this one is used so often to start essays that we felt it necessary. Never, no matter what the circum-stances, start your essay with this phrase. Spend the time to come up with a decent introduction.
18. DON’T use ghost writers. There is a disturbing trend of students hiring other people to write their essays. Not only is this unethical, but if you are caught (even after you are in college) you can expect immediate expulsion. While we encourage you to fi nd people to edit your work and give you feedback, we absolutely reject the idea of anyone other than you writing your essay.
19. DON’T treat online applications like email. Written hastily and casually, most of the email we receive is full of errors. Unfortunately, when students submit their essays online there is a temptation to compose and submit their essays as if they were writing an email.
This means the essays are not printed and proofread as carefully as they would be if submitted the old-fashioned way. If you are going to submit your essays online, be sure to print them out fi rst and have other people edit your work. Treat essays submitted online as you would essays to be mailed.
20. DON’T assume specifi c knowledge. It is easy to forget that what you are familiar with may not be apparent to an admission offi cer. For example, you might write about the qualities of a new cartoon that everyone is talking about at your school. Everyone except the admission offi cer that is. Remember that you are a different generation. If you are writing about a teen idol, show or song you might want to add a one-sentence description for the benefi t of those who may not be as familiar with it.
21. DON’T write a Hallmark card. Many essays written about family, grandparents or even history tend to be sentimentalized. This is because you respect these people and their deeds. However, praising family members or teachers and presenting their life and achievements as a tribute does not make an effective essay. It also shows a lack of critical analysis. We can all write glowing stories about our families, but it takes a more insightful person to write truthfully and even critically.
22. DON’T spill your guts. When we say that you need to reveal something about yourself we assume that it will be positive, be something that you are proud of and impress anybody reading it. You don’t want to reveal secrets or write an exposé. Admission offi cers want to be impressed, not shocked or embarrassed. If what you are writing belongs in your diary then don’t submit it to a college.
23. DON’T turn anything in without having at least one other person read it. It is vital to fi nd people to read the essay and make comments. They will alert you to areas that are unclear and catch mistakes that you miss. Often their input is critical to the process of building a successful essay.
24. DON’T let your editors ruin your essay. There is one danger with editors. If you thoughtlessly incorporate every suggestion, you can end up destroying your essay. Keep in mind that you are the author and not every recommendation an editor makes may be necessary.
You must agree with their opinions. You must remain in control or else your essay will lose its voice and focus.
25. DON’T end with a whimper. A powerful conclusion leaves readers with a strong impression of you. Try to end with something insightful or thought-provoking. Give the reader a memorable line or revelation that will stick with them after they put the essay down. And whatever you do, don’t abruptly end your essay with the words
“THE END.”