Math and science - 57 successful admission essays

Accepted! 50 successful college admission essays - Gen Tanabe, Tanabe Kelly 2008

Math and science
57 successful admission essays

Svati Singla

11-Year-Old Scientist

Duke University

While most of my friends were taking great interest in playing tag and kickball, I, as an 11-year-old child, needed something far more complicated to grasp my interests. My quest for knowledge seemed truly insatiable and I needed a unique avenue of learning. The idea of conducting professional medical research intrigued me; though I was only 11 years old, I was determined not to let my age hinder my extreme ambition and interest in higher level research. Thus, I picked up the phone book and began contacting labs in the East Carolina School of Medicine.

After a long stream of rejections and disappointment, I was fi nally acknowledged. The head of the Nuclear Cardiology Department recognized my genuine interest and scientifi c aptitude and invited me into his lab for an introduction of scientifi c principles and procedures. Though he was initially amused at the idea of such a young child conducting voluntary research in his laboratory, he presented me with various research options and I began a detailed study on the effects of elevated blood pressure on coronary heart disease.

I spent long hours in the lab searching through detailed medical histories and performing various tests on computerized images of the heart. After many months of tireless research, I fi nally came upon some astounding conclusions, and the fi ndings of my research were published in the American Journal of Hypertension.

This publication marked a milestone in my life, a milestone with a clear message: a lesson that age should never be a hindrance in the way of goals and dreams.

After the conclusion of this study, I continued my research interests by ini-tiating an experimental study in the Department of Biochemistry. The study dealt with the effects of drug abuse during pregnancy and fetal alcohol syndrome. After presentations at several science competitions, where it earned special commendation from the U.S. Army and U.S. Navy, I was convinced that there was nothing my dedication and optimism could not conquer.

For an outstanding accomplishment like Svati’s—conducting research at the age of 11—it makes sense that she would write an essay about it. Svati does a good job of explaining the challenges she faced to be able to conduct the research—convincing the academics that she was serious about the task and committing herself to working in the lab.

But what separates Svati from other students who have worked in labs? The answer is: Results. Svati is able to point to her conclusions being published in a respected journal to prove that she was not just messing around with test tubes but was involved with serious research.

When you are describing an accomplishment it always helps to be able to give examples of concrete achievements. You want to make sure that the admission offi cers know that you have made a meaningful contribution.

Scott Itano

Homedale, Idaho

According to Scott, he is the second student in Homedale High School’s history to attend an Ivy League college. While in high school, he was student body president, a competitor in the state’s science competition and volunteer for SMELLS (Students Making Everyone Less Likely to Smoke or Spit), a group sponsored by the American Cancer Society.

In the Field

Harvard University

Experiences are the building blocks of life. They provide the blueprints for how I think and act. They are the sources for emotions such as bliss, puppy dog love or devastation as in a soap opera storyline. One of my most treasured events occurred this past summer when I attended the Student Challenge Awards Program (SCAP) in the Sierra Nevada Mountains in California. I studied plant responses to climate changes in the Western United States with seven talented high school students, two undergraduate students and a professor from U.C. Santa Cruz.

The biological research I did in California fulfi lled years of wondering how fi eld biology works. I lived in an environment for two weeks where knowledge saturated everything. I learned a multitude of new concepts and ways of thinking, not to mention how wacky teenagers can become when they’re sleep-deprived. (Tree hugging is just one example.) I developed friendships with extremely gifted people who shared my love for science and actually understood how I felt. Honestly, words do not justify the feelings I have for this experience si n ce they are sensations more powerful than immense satisfaction and gratifi cation.

I will be indebted forever to the Durfee Foundation (sponsors of SCAP) for exposing me to the real world. Refl ecting on my time in California, I see it as a life-changing experience. Instead of satiating my appetite for knowledge, it has only stimulated my hunger for it. I now realize how much of the world is yet to be understood and, more importantly, to be discovered. I am more aware of the world around me and my role in it. Everyday people like me can make a difference.

I will treasure my experience in California. It’s the kind of memory that sticks like a person’s fi rst kiss. My trip instilled knowledge, awareness and hope in me. Because of this single experience, I believe I am a better person. Experiences can be diamonds in the rough, unsuspecting and silent until someone discovers them. Not only do experiences provide memories to savor but lessons for living.

In a way, Scott’s essay is a coming-of-age story, although in his case it takes place on an academic level. His experience exposed him to research in the fi eld and awoke in him a desire for continuing to conduct research. The admission offi cers could probably tell from his writing just how excited he was by the opportunity. For an essay on an academic subject, if you have the space it can also help to describe the actual research. —the questions you pursued and the answers you found. These details help the admission offi cers see your intellectual curiosity.

Notice that Scott does not only focus on the hardcore academic lessons. He comments on the effect of sleep deprivation and some of the silliness of working in the forest. All of this helps to ground his essay and show the admission offi cers that he is not just a student scientist but also a young person with a sense of humor who observes his fellow students as much as he does his experiments.

Jonathan Bloom

Orchard Lake, Michigan

Jonathan is a gifted mathematician. During his summers he conducted research at Ohio State University and General Motors. In his essay, he shows his passion for the fi eld and achievements that he made while still in high school. He says the goal of his essay was to get the admission offi ce to share his application with the mathematics faculty to gain the department’s support. In his spare time he volunteers, water skis and juggles torches, knives and clubs.

Number Theory and Vehicle Weight Distribution

Harvard University

Near the end of my junior year of high school, I had yet to decide whether to accept a summer internship at General Motors or to return to the Ross Young Scholars Program at Ohio State University. The previous summer at Ross, while fully immersed in number theory for eight weeks, I developed a burning hunger for the in-depth study of mathematics. I learned how to think scientifi cally and perform research independently. The founder of the program honored me with an invitation to return as a junior counselor.

In this capacity, I would have studied combinatorics while engage d in the development of fi rst-year attendees. The founder and other OSU professors repeatedly urged me to come back to Ohio State, and one faculty member actually suggested that, at General Motors, I might be nothing more than “Captain Xerox.” By taking their advice, I would have revisited a safe and familiar academic experience. Instead, I took a risk and entered the corporate world.

My experience at GM could not have been more successful. Based on my background, I w a s placed in the Operations Research Department of the General Motors Truck Group. I conducted a study that identifi ed the most effi cient method for accurately approximating the vehicle weight distribution for their product lines. Ten weeks later, I had completed the project, documented the results and given fi ve presentations to increasing levels of management. General Motors is now looking at ways to quickly implement my fi ndings, which will result in the company saving millions of dollars.

As the only high school student, it was a privilege to be a contributing participant in a fully operational corporate workgroup. I worked comfortably alongside many talented individuals, half of whom had their doctoral degrees. Invested with responsibility, I managed my assignment from inception through completion. I also sharpened my oratory skills, presenting volumes of technical data in a clear and concise manner. This required reading a textbook on statistics and learning the fundamentals of Visual Basic for Applications.

By not traveling to Columbus, I was able to take two courses at Wayne State University, study and pass-out of Spanish IV at my high school and lay the groundwork for my next research project at the University of Michigan-Dearborn. Because I live on a lake, staying at home gave me the opportunity to enjoy boating, jet skiing, water skiing and wake boarding with my friends. I even took a little red Corvette, a company car, out for a spin on Interstate 75. This summer, therefore, provided me with both a tremendous sense of accomplishment as well as an opportunity for relaxation.

During the course of my young life, I have taken many risks by participating in academic and extracurricular activities that are beyond my years. The events of these past two summers have given me confi dence that I would thrive in a strong academic and research-oriented environment. I believe that I would be a positive addition to the student body at Harvard College.

There is no question that Jonathan is smart. However, this essay also allows Jonathan to show that his abilities can have a practical application and that he can work with people outside of academia. While the fi rst two-thirds of the essay outline his interest and accomplishments within the sciences, the last two paragraphs allow Jonathan to also convey another aspect of his personality. He is not just a science nerd.

He enjoys water sports and foreign language and even taking a spin in a Corvette. This helps to round out our image of Jonathan and show a side that is probably not obvious by looking only at his application.

David Foxe

Sussex, Wisconsin

What began as a curiosity in a few architectural sites resulted in something much larger. Over the past fi ve years, David has visited over 600 architectural landmarks in the Midwest and Northeast, exploring the works of those including Wright, Pei and Eero Saarinen. He did much of his research while a student at Hamilton High School, where he was a National Merit Scholar, Tandy Scholar and Wal-Mart Scholar. He has accomplished all of this in spite of having Lamellar Ichthyosis, a rare and energy-consuming skin condition. About his condition he says, “It has caused me to realize my limitations but also to strive with my best efforts.” For his application to MIT, David was asked to write his own question and then answer it.

Aesthetics and Calculus

MIT

David’s Question: Describe how such seemingly different subjects such as aesthetics and calculus can be integrated (pun intended) to exemplify a larger pattern of interrelated creative and applied thought. Include obscure but pertinent references to Heisenberg, conga drums, Maurice Ravel, the history of German Literature and A lden B. Dow when applicable.

A principal characteristic that exemplifi es my essay is that the question is more important than the answer, especially when the question requires thinking outside the box.

This topic is based on my research presentation, The Aesthetics of Calculus 1, which I found extremely interesting as a discovery process. The mathematical analysis tools of calculus can be applied to the artistic elements of life including photography, visual art, architecture and music. The relations described by calculus functions are crucial to a true comprehension of photography, technical aspects that allow for enhanced artistic expression within the realm of light and optics, media which allow us to visualize and appreciate the realm of visual art.

Stimulating and intricate works of art can be created from the math topics of topology, fractal geometric regression (an example of which I discovered in a math contest problem) and general aesthetic proportion. Especially meaningful to me are the examples I analyzed in the fi eld of architecture in which hyperbolic functions of structural caternaries, hyperbolic paraboloid concrete marvels and other unit-based geometric works by Alden B. Dow, F.L. Wright and Santiago Calatrava. Finally, I explored the mathematical descriptions of waves for musical instruments, such as organ pipe lengths and the volume of wood that allows percussive resonance in conga drums.

This independent research has helped me to clarify that I want to pursue an education that will allow me to enrich an understanding not only of scientifi c analysis, but also of the aesthetic creative development. This mathematical learning has caused me to enjoy such hobbies as photography and (almost concert-level) piano even more because I can appreciate the principles supporting them, such as the complex harmony of compositions by Maurice Ravel. I have learned that architecture best integrates many different elements of art, music, engineering, history and math to create a more effi cient and beautiful environment to benefi t the people who live and work with these buildings. Therefore, the intellectual environment of MIT best encompasses the knowledge to pragmatically accomplish the creative problem-solving for building people up through their architectural environment.

Good essays demonstrate how a student sees his or her fi t with the college. Without beating you over the head, David shows his match with MIT. This college seeks students who are talented in fi elds like mathematics and who can relate their book learning to the real world.

Wouldn’t you agree David has demonstrated he is MIT material? We certainly believe the admission offi cers did.

Jobs and Careers

Jason Garber

Hutchinson, Kansas

A natural entrepreneur and computer whiz, Jason combined the two to start a computer-related business at the age of 14. Through his business, he has sold and serviced computer hardware and software, developed and hosted websites and provided computer training. At Hutchinson High School, Jason was also involved in the choir, band and as president of the National Honor Society. In writing his essay Jason went through many drafts. “I just kept tweaking, revising and having others read it for quality, content and clarity,” he says.

More Than a Tutor

Eastern Mennonite University

Being known as a computer tutor for the elderly hasn’t won me many dates—at least not with women under 60. It has, however, brought me in contact with a generation of people who have a lifetime of wisdom and experience to share.

I enjoy tutoring a great deal because it allows me to interact with individuals more personally than one managing his own business is typically able.

Through it, I gain a window into their lives and the things that have shaped their personalities. One of my favorite examples of this is an 81-year-old widow who has determinately used her computer to enrich others’ lives, despite the barriers her health puts forth.

Nearly every Saturday, at 10 o’clock, I arrive at her home. She welcomes me in, immediately beginning to tell me about the triumphs and tribula-tions of her week. On Monday, she went to the dentist, and now she can’t seem to suck her milkshake through a straw. Then, on Wednesday, her dishwasher of 15 years went out and made a terrible mess all over the fl oor... Quite often, we can spend a half hour or more discussing the events of our respective lives.

After some time, our conversation segues into my excuse for visiting: tutoring her on the computer. She takes out a list of questions and tells me the things that she wants special help with as I sit down on the wicker bench beside her. We address each item—making greeting cards for sick friends, sending e-mail to her son, chatting with her sister in Wisconsin, searching for recipes on the Internet—but frequently digress whenever we want to share something amusing.

When she has absorbed as much as she cares to, she glances up at the clock and echoes the advice I gave to her after our fi rst meeting. “Well, I’ll play with it,” she says, intending to spend some time in the next week trying out her newfound abilities.

Before I leave, she often needs a jar opened, a top shelf reached or a melon cut. As we progress toward the door, we continue talking, neither of us wanting to end our reunion. At last, I must tear myself away, and my grandma of sorts watches from the window as I drive away, already beginning to miss my company.

On my way home, I’m fi lled with thoughts of what her life was like when season Packers tickets cost $12, when she stood before the class and recited her arithmetic and when her late husband, the judge, found homes for orphans and did widows’ taxes for a dollar. As I turn into my garage, I recognize with a smile that through our relationship, I’ve given her comfort and company and received a little more wisdom and understanding to tackle the challenges of the week ahead.

There’s something heartwarming and memorable about Jason’s essay, the way he takes the time to converse with, assist and perhaps most importantly, appreciate, this senior citizen widow. This essay helps Jason to set himself apart from other applicants by showing this detailed level of respect and compassion. On top of that, Jason has the maturity to appreciate and really take to heart what the senior shares with him.

The admission offi cers can tell that he is the type of person who is very insightful and self-refl ective. In any essay you want to present a few of your best personal qualities.

Meena Anand

Burr Ridge, Illinois

Meena’s visits to the hospital with her father as a child had a strong impact on her. She has been a hospital volunteer and observer and is contemplating a career in medicine. In her essay, Meena writes about the infl uence medicine has had on her. At Hinsdale Central High School, she also planned numerous public service events as the president of the Key Club and played tennis as a state doubles champion and as a member of her high school’s state champion team.

Visits to the Hospital

Princeton University

When I was a little girl, I used to go to the hospital with my dad. I would sit in the waiting room while he went into the operating room and worked his magic. After the operations, he would take me with him to talk to his patients. Their gratitude and hopeful faces made me proud of my dad.

It made me want to be a doctor just like him and his dad. One could just pass this off as a childhood fantasy, but I could not be more serious.

Throughout middle school and high school, science has always been my favorite subject. Finding out about how things work and the foundations for life intrigue me. At school, even in writing classes, I found medicine to be the subject of paper after paper, thus allowing me to satiate my thirst for knowledge in the fi eld and getting a paper done for class at the same time.

I also tried to take the highest levels of science courses. I want to know how one little mutated cell can cause an entire system to shut down with cancer and if a cure for AIDS can ever be found. But this will only come with a more thorough scientifi c education, which Princeton has to offer.

Over the summers of my high school years I volunteered at LaGrange Memorial Hospital. I wanted to get as much exposure to the hospital as possible. I started out at the family care and practices center and then moved on to the gift shop. Both these experiences allowed me to interact with patients and their relatives. The true test was to see if I would actually want to perform the magic that my dad did behind the solid, white doors. He allowed me to watch him scope a patient for an ulcer and I found his work to be very interesting. As a result of my keen interest and excellent academic performance, I was invited to attend the National Student Leadership Conference for Medicine at Washington, D.C. There I got a true taste of the nature of medical work. Not only did I get to see a video of a heart transplant, but I also got to attend numerous lectures about the history of medicine, organ transplants and research opportunities given by respected physicians. These experiences have strengthened my desire to go into the fi eld of medicine.

My most important reason for wanting to be a doctor is because I care. I hate to see people suffer. I remember visiting one of my dad’s patients in a recovery room. He was a very nice old man. As we walked away, I also remember my father telling me that he would die within a month, despite everything my dad had done for him. I felt pain and regret stir up within me. If I could, I would try and fi nd a cure for every disease that brings pain to patients and their families and try to save everyone, but that is not possible. But I do know that I can work as hard as I can to operate on a patient and save his life. And I can run experiments in the lab and try to fi nd a way to develop a remedy for an incurable disease. I would also try to prevent illnesses from consuming patients by taking preventive precautions and teaching them what they can do to maintain healthy lives. Each person is a precious individual, and I want to do my best to save each one that may come into the care of my hands. For me, it is important that “to the world I may be just one person, but to one person I may just be the world” (unknown).

Every year countless students write about how they want to become doctors, scientists, engineers or another dream profession. If you’re one of them this year, set your essay apart from the others. Notice Meena’s approach, which is focusing on why you are determined to enter a specifi c career fi eld. In her essay, Meena shows us the genesis of her interest in medicine and why she feels so strongly about becoming a doctor.

Meena also does not resort to platitudes. Of course, everyone wants to help others and make a difference. But Meena provides examples of why she feels the way she does about medicine. She shares her experience volunteering at a hospital and what she’s learned through the leadership conference. By describing her interaction with the patient, she’s able to demonstrate why caring for a patient is important. Her use of examples makes her statement that she hates to see others suffer ring true and not hollow.