College essays that made a difference - Princeton Review 2010
Daniel Freeman
The applicants
Dan participated in numerous activities in high school, and spent all four years in student council and class leadership positions. He was very active in the arts through theater productions, bands, and choir. He also served as captain of the regional office of his youth group. Dan was recognized his senior year as a Presidential Scholar, National Merit Scholar, All-State Academic Scholar, and Project Imagine Arts Scholar.
Stats
SAT: 1590 (790 Critical Reading, 800 Math)
SAT Subject Test(s): 800 Math Level 2, 790 Biology
ACT: 35
High School GPA: 4.00
High School: North Farmington High School, Farmington Hills, MI
Hometown: Farmington Hills, MI
Gender: Male
Race: Caucasian
Applied To
Yale University (early decision)
Essay
Dan does not recall the exact wording of Yale’s essay question, but it basically asked applicants to write about an activity that was important to them.
The Conquest
It was a crisp, clear June day in Rocky Mountain National Park, a few miles outside of Estes Park, Colorado. Before me stood an imposing sight: Estes Cone. With a peak at twelve thousand feet above sea level and a base at eight thousand, this mountain would be a challenge for any hiker. I was no hiker; I was an unathletic, awkward 15-year-old boy. Nonetheless, I loaded my pack with salami, pita, and water and set forth.
At first the going was easy. I knew we had to ascend four thousand feet before reaching the peak, and as we passed the fourth of five mile-markers, I questioned whether we had gained more than fifteen hundred. After lunch my trip’s supervisor explained the situation. The next mile included almost three thousand feet of vertical gain. We would split into two groups: one would go quickly, the other would be allowed breaks. The fast group would see the top and the slow one would be forced to turn back when they met the others coming down. I decided then that no chunk of rock could conquer me, and so I set forth with the fast group.
The pace was grueling. My muscles screamed out for rest, and I began to regret that I had chosen to audition for the musical instead of trying out for the tennis team. As we pushed forward, the angle of elevation increased from twenty degrees, to thirty, to nearly forty. I fell further and further behind until I was told that I should simply wait for the slow group to catch up and continue with them. I curtly responded that I would be fine and proceeded onward. Pain tore through my legs as I pulled my body weight over each rock. The back of the group flittered in and out of my view, pulling me forward with only dim hopes of success.
Time wore on, and pain faded into numbness. Each foot followed the other in a grim succession. The trees thinned with the increasing altitude, and the peak grew nearer. Suddenly I heard my friend Dan holler down, “Hurry up man, you’ve just about made it, and we’re sick of waiting for you!” My vigor restored, I pushed on quicker than before until I broke through the tree line. A bald, craggy expanse of rock surrounded me. The others were waiting, cameras in a pile, in preparation for a group shot at the summit. In one final act of endurance, I pulled myself over the top to join the others in triumph. My climb was complete.
As I looked down from that peak upon the miniaturized ranger station and the surrounding vistas, I received two things. One would shape my leisure time for the remainder of high school — a love of hiking. Whenever I get the chance, I escape from suburbia and enter the wilds. Since that fateful summer I have hiked in three countries: through the heat of Israel’s Judean Desert, over the rocky cliffs of Canada’s Lake Superior Provincial Park, and throughout the forests of my native Michigan’s many state parks. I now am a hiker. Even more importantly, I was given confidence. Physical limitations and the limitations that others place on me no longer deter me from setting and reaching my goals. Life is my mountain, and no rock-strewn face will keep me from reaching the summit.
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