College essays that made a difference - Princeton Review 2010

Peter Dean
The applicants

In high school, Peter played baseball and football and was captain of both teams his senior year. He was involved in Student Government all four years and was a member of his school’s Executive Committee.

Stats

SAT: 1340 (650 Critical Reading, 690 Math)

SAT Subject Test(s): 600 U.S. History, 680 Math

High School GPA: 3.90

High School: James Madison High School, Vienna, VA

Hometown: Vienna, VA

Gender: Male

Race: Caucasian

Applied To

Davidson College

Gettysburg College

Rhodes College

University of Virginia

Valparaiso University

Vanderbilt University

Wake Forest University

Washington and Lee University

Wheaton College (IL)

Essay

Peter used the following essay in each of his applications.

Common Application: Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, or risk that you have taken and its impact on you.

No underarm hair, no facial hair, baby fat, and a mouthful of baby teeth is how I spent my first two years at James Madison High School. In the middle of my sophomore year, when most of my peers had begun shaving, I was getting the last of my baby teeth removed, because at age 16, I had “the mouth of a 12 year old,” my dentist told me.

My older brother was big, strong, mature, and only a year ahead of me. Therefore, I was continuously asked, “what happened to you?” I always tried to answer the question optimistically — as I tried to do with the question, “do you shave your legs?” After long anticipation, Mr. Puberty finally arrived at the end of my sophomore year. Since that time I have grown at least eight inches, lost my baby fat, gained some underarm hair, and become the starting quarterback on the Varsity football team. Starting my senior year I can now look back and appreciate the lessons I learned before puberty, and I am glad that puberty did take so long.

Delayed puberty helped build my character. It taught me a lot about humility. In the halls during my freshman and sophomore years I was always looking up to, or being pushed around by, everyone. Now that I am bigger than most of my peers, I do not feel that I am better than they are. Lacking appearance, size and strength I was also forced to develop other character traits such as friendliness, a sense of humor, and kindness to attract friends — especially those of the opposite sex.

Delayed puberty eliminates many worries that usually are associated with entering high school. In the morning I did not need to shave, because the peach fuzz was still sparse. I did not worry about my wisdom teeth having to come out, because I had just lost all my baby teeth. I did not need to worry about braces, because I was on pace to get them in graduate school. I did not have to worry about any girl problems, because I learned from experience that girls are not interested in guys that remind them of their younger brothers.

Delayed puberty also postponed and shortened my adolescent conflicts with my parents. Of course, I have tormented my parents with petty arguments about use of the car and curfew. However, my adolescence has been efficient. My brother tortured them for four full years, but I achieved the same results in a few short months.

As I look back on my pre-puberty days there are many reasons why I am glad Mr. Puberty visited me late. I realize that there is no way to control when he comes, but if he ever chooses to visit you later than your peers you should be thankful. Even though you might spend a few years on the “short” end of jokes, in the end it will only make you better.

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