Use examples & illustrate - Essay writing workshop

How to write a winning scholarship essay - Gen Tanabe, Kelly Tanabe 2018

Use examples & illustrate
Essay writing workshop

Mark R. Eadie, Coca-Cola Scholars Regional Winner “Make sure to use examples to illustrate points. Instead of saying ’I was active in high school,’ describe your high school activities. Also, focus on one or two activities that had special meaning to you.

“There’s a fine line between bragging and too much humility.

Be honest about yourself and what you’ve done, and the scholarship committee will recognize this. Your essay is going to be read by real people who are intelligent and wise so don’t make things up. Trying to trick them is like trying to trick parents; it just doesn’t work.

“Also, the essay readers may have to read hundreds of essays, so give them something to remember you by.”

avoid clichés. We are all guilty of using a cliché in our writing. “Don’t cry over spilled milk.” “Good things come to those who wait.” “Try and try and you will succeed.” These are all common clichés. It’s important to avoid using them in the essay. Why? First of all, the use of clichés is just lazy writing.

You are using a common phase instead of taking the time to come up with your own words. Second it’s not your words and therefore it’s not original. When you use a cliché you are penalized for being both lazy and unoriginal. It’s just not worth it. If you find yourself writing a cliché, stop, and rewrite the idea in your own words.

don’t write a sob story. Tear-jerking stories may be popular subjects for television specials and song lyrics, but they rarely, if ever, win scholarships. A common theme students write about is why they need the scholarship money to continue their education. While this is a perfectly legitimate topic, it is often answered with an essay filled with family tragedies and hardships—a sob story. Again, there is nothing wrong with writing about this topic, but don’t expect to win if the intent of your essay is to evoke pity.

If your main point (remember our test) is this: “I deserve money because of the suffering I’ve been through,” you have a problem. Scholarship committees are not as interested in problems as they are in solutions. What have you accomplished despite these hardships? How have you succeeded despite the challenges you’ve faced? This is more significant and memorable than merely cataloging your misfortunes.

Plus, don’t forget that to win you have to be an original. The sob story is one of the more common types of essays, and it is hard to compete when you are telling the same story that literally hundreds of other students are also writing. Remember that every applicant has faced difficulties. What’s different and individual to you is how you’ve overcome those difficulties.

show positive energy. Mom has probably said: “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”

Everyone likes an uplifting story. Especially, since you have your entire future ahead of you, scholarship judges want to feel your enthusiasm. In fact, one reason adults love to volunteer to be scholarship judges is to meet positive and enthusiastic young adults who do not have the cynicism or closed minds of adults.

Try to stay away from essays that are overly pessimistic, antagonistic or critical. This doesn’t mean that you have to put a happy spin on every word or that you can’t write about a serious problem. But it does mean that you should not concentrate only on the negative. If you are writing about a problem try to present some solutions.

Your optimism is what makes organizations excited about giving you money to pursue your passion for changing the world.

Don’t shy away from this fact.