Convoluted vocabulary - 12 essays that bombed

How to write a winning scholarship essay - Gen Tanabe, Kelly Tanabe 2018

Convoluted vocabulary
12 essays that bombed

How many times have you read a passage in a standardized test or in an advanced work of literature and found that each word made you more confused than the last? If used properly, word choice can convey sophistication and demonstrate a writer’s command of the language.

However, when used incorrectly or only to impress, the results are convoluted, conceited or just plain incorrect. Here is an example of an essay that was intended to awe. See if you are impressed enough with this writer to hand over your money.

Educationality

That education is my utmost priorative focus is verified in my multitude of academic, extracurricular and intercurricular activities. I insinuate myself in learning and acquiring a plethora of knowledge. I am a person that doesn’t approbate no for an answer when it comes to enhancing the prominence of my mind.

This pontifical accolade is an integral part of my scholarization, and without it, my temperament would fall short of instructured. My transcendent achievements speak for themselves and deserve accolades.

why this essay bombed

It appears as if this essay had a head-on collision with a thesaurus. Using SAT words is fine as long as you use them correctly. Scholarship judges are not interested in how complicated a sentence you can construct, but rather how meaningful you can make it. Plus, some of the words this applicant uses were made up!

How to avoid this mistake

Don’t venture into areas of the English language where you are a stranger. It is okay to use multisyllabic words when you see fit, but to use big words just for the sake of using them is a mistake.