How to write a winning scholarship essay - Gen Tanabe, Kelly Tanabe 2018

What common mistakes do students make on the essay?
Judges’ roundtable: the scholarship essay

As you’re writing the essay, it’s important to know what works. But sometimes it can be even more helpful to know what doesn’t work.

By knowing what mistakes kill an otherwise good essay you can avoid them in your own writing. After having read hundreds or even thousands of essays, our panel has encountered many common mistakes that students make in their scholarship essays.

Kimberly Hall

United Negro College Fund

“Some students write their essays about the difficulties that they have faced but do so in a negative way and don’t explain how they’ve overcome the difficulties. I would recommend that students present a positive light. Here are some of the challenges that I’ve had to overcome and here is how I did it.

Stay positive.”

Tracey Wong Briggs

All-USA Academic Teams

“There are some students who have outstanding biographical information, but when you read the essay all they’ve done is recount the facts that are in their application form. We want you to use the essay to go deeper and beyond what is listed in your application. We lose very good nominees that way.

They just don’t give you a clear idea of who they are beyond the basic facts.”

Mario A. De Anda

Hispanic Scholarship Fund

“One of the common mistakes is that they use the same personal statement for many scholarships. They even forget to change the name of the scholarship they are applying to. We encourage students to make sure they write a personal statement specifically for the program.”

Laura DiFiore

FreSch! Free Scholarship Search

“A huge mistake is what I call the crush, when we’re getting 40

to 50 percent of our applications in the last three days. I think a lot of students would be better off if they didn’t apply in the last two weeks before the deadline. The ones rushing to get in by the deadline would probably be better off spending more time on their essays and applying next year.”

Wanda Carroll

National Association of Secondary School Principals “Spelling. You should use your computer’s spell check. We wouldn’t disqualify an applicant solely on spelling, but the committee does see the mistakes and it does distract from the quality of the essay. If they had a choice between two equally well-written essays, they would choose the essay without spelling errors.”

Leah Carroll

U.C. Berkeley Haas Scholars Program

“The most common error I run into is people who are trying to say what the foundation wants to hear. It ends up sound-ing inauthentic. I tell students to write as if they are trying to explain something to a friend. Just write from the heart. They seem to always come out better that way. Another mistake is that students, at Berkeley in particular, often sell themselves short. You should not be afraid to call attention to all of your achievements.”

Michael Darne

CollegeAnswer

“When approaching the essay a lot of students are eager to dump a huge laundry list of achievements—a list of everything that they’ve done. But what scholarship providers are looking for is to get an understanding of who this person is and where they’re going in life. They don’t just want a list of accomplishments. If you can paint some picture of yourself, where you’re going and how you’re going to get there, you’re going to be in a much better situation.”

Georgina Salguero

Hispanic Heritage Youth Awards

“We’re not giving the award to the best sob story. We’re not looking for someone who can write the best woe is me story.

Please don’t give us this kind of essay.”