How to write a winning scholarship essay - Gen Tanabe, Kelly Tanabe 2018
Achievements & leadership guestions
Real interview questions & answers
Q: what achievement are you the most proud of?
a: This may not seem like an achievement to many people, but it is for me. Last year I learned how to swim. Ever since I can remember I’ve had a grave fear of the water. Anything above knee level was a frightening experience. Last year my little brother fell into a pool and had to be rescued by the lifeguard. As I stood by not able to help, I realized that I needed to learn to swim. Twice a week I went to swimming lessons.
It was kind of embarrassing to be in a swimming class with elementary school students but I was determined to learn.
It took an entire class for me to feel comfortable walking in the water up to my neck, but after eight weeks of lessons, I could actually swim several laps. I never thought that I could learn. I’m proud of this accomplishment not because it was difficult to learn but because of the huge fear I had to face and overcome to learn it.
a: Unlike other schools, ours never had a debate team.
Because I plan to be an attorney, I wanted to get practice in debating so I decided to form a team. None of the teachers at my school had the time to be the faculty adviser so I contacted local attorneys in the yellow pages. I finally found one who despite her busy schedule volunteered to help us. I recruited 12 other students to join and became the team captain. In our first year we made it to the district competition and won several rounds. For me this was my biggest accomplishment especially since now we have a core group of debaters who will continue the team after I graduate.
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This is a challenging question because in addition to selecting and describing an accomplishment, you need to put it into context and explain its significance. The first answer vividly illustrates how this student overcomes his fears to learn how to swim. Everyone has something that he or she is deathly afraid of, and it is likely that the judges can easily relate to this accomplishment. Notice how the answer reveals why the student decided to face his fear of swimming and gives enough detail to create a mental picture. There is also a nice element of humor in the story that makes you smile.
The second answer is an excellent example of how to highlight an impressive achievement. While the scholarship judges may notice that this student is the founder of her school’s debate team in the application, this answer underscores just how difficult it was to start the team.
It also reveals the student’s desire to be an attorney. The applicant ends nicely by emphasizing how her achievement has affected others and will continue to make a positive impact on the lives of her fellow students.
Q: How have you been a leader or displayed leadership?
a: I am the chair of my dorm committee, which consists of six officers. My job is to oversee the committee as well as 500 student residents. My responsibilities include planning the orientation for new students, organizing social activities and directing our dorm’s annual charity event. It’s a challenge to get students motivated for a special event because there are so many other ways that they can spend their time. I am most proud of the way that I have been able to mobilize the students in our dorm to support our annual charity event, the bowl-a-thon for lung cancer research. To make this event a success I knew that I needed the help of others in our dorm.
I recruited and trained hall representatives to personally contact all 500 students in our dorm and encourage them to participate in the bowl-a-thon. In the end over 50 percent of the students participated. We had a higher participation rate and donation level than any other dorm at our school.
a: This year I organized an event to collect toys for underprivileged children. I started by writing an article for the school newspaper to raise awareness and to get students to donate toys. I had volunteers who also went to local businesses and asked for donations as well as a group that decided which families in our town would receive the toys. The toy drive was a huge success. We were able to provide toys to over 200 families and we solicited donations from over 50 local businesses.
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What’s notable about both of these answers is that the applicants don’t just list off a bunch of titles and positions. Instead the students focus on one specific leadership position or activity and give enough detail to show the depth of their commitment. Citing concrete accomplishments like getting half of the dorm to participate or giving toys to more than 200 families also helps judges to better gauge the significance of each achievement. The second answer illustrates that you don’t have to hold an official title or elected position in order to show leadership.