50 Successful Ivy League Application Essays - Tanabe Gen, Tanabe Kelly 2009

“My Bedroom” by Fareez Giga
Talent

Stanford University

I ran around nervously, yelling at my parents to wait down-stairs; I did not want them to see anything that was going on. I rushed as fast as I could to make my bed, something most teenagers do not usually do. I made sure everything was in proper order as I called my parents up to my room. As I placed the last pillow on the bed, I acquired a sense of completion and achievement. I had done it; I designed and redecorated my bedroom. It was at this point when I, in my heart, became an interior designer.

This picture represents more than just a bedroom to me; it is my first step on a path that I hope directs me to fulfillment. Designing my bedroom allowed me to explore the creative aspect of my life, and I was, and still am, able to appreciate the amount of creative talent I possess. It has become an intense passion in my life and I value this a great deal. This process illustrated the creative potential that I possess within myself, and I know that I can apply this promise in any aspect of my life.

One of the greatest features of this project I took on is that I was able to see the results of my actions immediately. It was a hands-on experience that I enjoyed to its fullest, and I was exultant with the outcome.

Overall, this project was a great success in my eyes, and even in the eyes of my family and friends who are amazed at my capabilities with design. However, as the designer, I do get frustrated with infinitesi-mal flaws. On the wall to the left of my bed there are two shelves and framed artwork that I created myself. In the process of the installation, I centered these shelves and artwork on the wall; however, the palm tree that I placed in the corner covers up one of the frames. I now know that it probably would have been better if I moved the shelves and artwork to the left of the wall. The importance of this is not the flaw itself, but in the fact that I learned from what I had done and know how to improve myself the next time. Overall, I feel the room came out beautifully and it symbolizes my first true triumph with design.

Though this project meant a great deal to me emblematically, I also just had fun with it. Utilizing my imagination, and figuring out how I was going to make things work within the room was simply enjoyable. not only was the design process pleasurable, but also the actual painting, nailing, and organizing itself was satisfying. I was also able to bond with my father through the project. He joined me in my most successful achievement of the room—the design and creation of the headboard. This venture and this picture epitomize my success. I consider my bedroom to be an elegant, contemporary work of art, and this picture embodies all the work I put into my design as well as the sense of achievement I received after its completion.

Analysis

Fareez’s introduction creates mystery in the very first of his sentences that draws the reader in. We want answers. Why is he making the bed? Why is he in such a rush? What is he hiding from his parents?

We want to find out what engages him in such totality.

In the second paragraph, Fareez explains the point of the essay—his creativity. This paragraph is a little general, and it could have been strengthened with the use of details. He might have shared more about the roots of his creativity, how he discovered and developed his talent, or how he hopes to use his inventive nature and unique ideas in the future. Still, we learn about a meaningful talent that he has, and we can tell that he is incredibly passionate about having a creative outlet.

In the third paragraph, Fareez shares a specific example of how he gets frustrated by a small defect. By describing how the palm tree covers one of the pictures, he gives us a visual image and shows how meticulous he is with his work. He keeps the tone positive by explaining how he will use this as a lesson “the next time.” It is always best to use a specific example rather than general terms.

In the last paragraph, Fareez illustrates the strong connection he has with his father and how he enjoyed the physical work that went into the project. This gives an additional dimension to Fareez’s work by pointing out his ability to work with another person as well as his obvious enjoyment in actually implementing his designs in a hands-on way.

The strength of Fareez’s essay is that it presents an aspect of his personality that is not easily shown in the rest of the application. There is no place on the application to detail that he is creative, and he did not receive any honors or awards for this project. His essay shows that you can write about a topic that is not connected to an official activity, award, or honor. Sharing something that you’ve done on your personal time can give the admissions officers a glimpse into who you are.