HBR Guide to Better Business Writing - Bryan A. Garner 2013
Watch your tone
Avoiding the quirks that turn readers off
Striking the right tone takes work—but it’s critical to the success of your business documents. If you sound likable and professional, people will want to work with you and respond to you. So adopt a relaxed tone, as if speaking directly to the recipient of your document.
Avoid hyperformality
What do you think of colleagues who say or write “How may I be of assistance?” instead of “How may I help you?” Or “subsequent to our conversation” instead of “after we spoke”? When they choose overblown words over everyday equivalents, don’t they strike you as pompous?
Too much formality will spoil your style. Keep your writing down to earth and achieve a personal touch by:
✵ Writing your message more or less as you’d say it, but without all the casualisms (likes and you knows).
✵ Including courtesies such as thank you, we’re happy to, and we appreciate.
✵ Using the names of the people you’re writing about (David Green, not the above-mentioned patient).
✵ Using personal pronouns (you, he, she—not the reader, the decedent, the applicant; we understand—not it is understood; we recommend—not it is recommended by the undersigned).
Be collegial
You’ll have better luck delivering most kinds of messages, even tough ones, if you approach people collegially. Imagine that everything you write will be paraded before a jury in a contentious lawsuit. You’ll want that jury to think you’ve behaved admirably. Of course, sometimes you’ll need to take an aggressive stance—for example, when you’re at the last stage before litigation. But do this only as a last resort, and preferably on advice of counsel.
Be yourself. Just be your most careful, circumspect self. People have gotten their companies into terrible trouble—and have lost their jobs—by writing ill-considered letters, memos, and e-mails. So always summon your best judgment.
Even if you’re collegial and fairly relaxed, your language will vary somewhat depending on your relationship with the recipient. You’ll be okay if you ask yourself, “How would I say this to so-and-so if he were right here with me?” You don’t want a distant tone with your closest colleagues, and you don’t want a chummy tone with someone you don’t know all that well.
Never try to make your readers admit that they’re in the wrong. It’s unwise to say that they labor under a delusion, or claim to understand, or fail to understand, or complain, or erroneously assert, or distort. These expressions, and others like them, breed ill will. Instead, treat your readers with integrity and fairness—and show your willingness to meet them halfway.
Drop the sarcasm
Sarcasm expresses contempt and superiority. It doesn’t shame people into compliance. Rather, it’s a surefire way of irritating and alienating them. Compare:
NOT THIS: |
BUT THIS: |
Given that Monday was a bank holiday, as declared by federal statute no less, your e-mail of the 17th of the present month did not come to my attention until yesterday. It is with no small degree of regret that we note that you deemed it necessary to send a follow-up e-mail to us regarding this matter, since we are desirous of establishing a relationship of mutual trust and respect. |
Because Monday was a bank holiday, I didn’t receive your e-mail message of the 17th until yesterday. Naturally I was chagrined that you had to write a second time. But of course I want you to call on me whenever I might help. |
In the left-hand column, note the deadly combination of hyperformality and sarcasm, and the annoying subtext: “You wrote on a holiday, you DOPE. Of course you had to wait for a response.” The chance of “establishing a relationship of mutual trust and respect” is very likely diminished.
Recap
✵ Arrive at a relaxed but professional tone by writing your message as if you were speaking to the recipient in person.
✵ Refer to people by name, use personal pronouns as you naturally would, and shun fancy substitutes for everyday words.
✵ Always use your best judgment and a collegial tone in composing your messages, even if the content isn’t positive. You’ll get better responses from your recipients and keep yourself—and your company— out of trouble.
✵ Adopt a tone appropriate to your relationship with the recipient.
✵ Never use sarcasm in professional messages. It will result in a step away from—not toward—your desired outcome.