HBR Guide to Better Business Writing - Bryan A. Garner 2013

Know why you’re writing
Delivering the goods quickly and clearly

Many people begin writing before they know what they’re trying to accomplish. As a result, their readers don’t know where to focus their attention or what they’re supposed to do with the message. So much depends on your purpose in writing that you must fix it firmly in your mind. What do you want the outcome to be? Do you want to persuade someone to sign a franchise contract, for instance? Or to stop using your trademark without permission? Or to come to a company reception?

Say clearly and convincingly what the issue is and what you want to accomplish. With every sentence, ask yourself whether you’re advancing the cause. That will help you find the best words to get your message across.

Form follows function

Say your firm rents space in an office building that has thoroughly renovated the entrance and the entire first floor. Your general counsel has alerted you that the landlord has violated the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA). For example, there are no wheelchair-access ramps or automatic doors. You’ve decided to write to the landlord. But why are you writing? The answer to that question determines much of what you’ll say and all of the tone that you’ll use. Consider three versions of the letter you might write:

Version #1

You’re good friends with the landlord, but you think that the law should be followed for the good of your employees and your customers. Purpose: to gather more information. Tone: friendly.

Dear Ann:

The new foyer looks fantastic. What a great way for us and others in the building to greet customers and other visitors. Thank you for undertaking the renovations.

Could it be that the work isn’t finished? No accommodations have yet been made for wheelchair accessibility—as required by law. Perhaps I’m jumping the gun, and that part of the work just hasn’t begun? Please let me know.

Let’s get together for lunch soon.

All the best,

Version #2

You’re on good terms with the landlord, but on principle, you don’t like being in a building that isn’t ADA-compliant. You have a disabled employee on staff, and you want the situation righted. Purpose: to correct the oversight. Tone: more urgent.

Dear Ann:

Here at Bergson Company, we were delighted when you renovated the first floor and made it so much more inviting to both tenants and visitors. We are troubled, however, by the lack of wheelchair-access ramps and automatic doors for handicapped employees and customers, both of which are required by state and federal law. Perhaps you’re still planning that part of the renovations. If so, please advise.

If this was a mere oversight, can you assure us that construction on ramps and automatic doors will begin within 60 days? Otherwise, as we understand it, we may be obliged to report the violation to the Vermont Buildings Commission. Without the fixes, you may be subject to some hefty fines—but we feel certain that you have every intention of complying with the law.

Sincerely,

Version #3

You’ve had repeated problems with the landlord, and you have found a better rental property elsewhere for your company. Purpose: to terminate your lease. Tone: firm, but without burning bridges.

Dear Ms. Reynolds:

Four weeks ago you finished renovating the first floor of our building. Did you not seek legal counsel? You have violated the Americans with Disabilities Act—as well as state law—by failing to provide a wheelchair-access ramp and automatic doors for handicapped visitors and employees. Because four weeks have elapsed since you completed the work, we are entitled under state law to terminate our lease. This letter will serve as our 30 days’ notice.

Although we have no doubt that your oversight was a good-faith error, we hope that you understand why we can’t stay in the building and have made plans to go elsewhere.

We hope to remain on friendly terms during and after the move.

Sincerely,

These three letters are quite different because you are writing them to accomplish different things. Focus on the reaction you’re trying to elicit from the reader. You want results. Yet notice how even the sternest letter— Version 3—maintains a civil tone to foster goodwill. No hostility is necessary.

Recap

✵ Consider your purpose and your audience before you begin writing, and let these guide both what you say and how you say it.

✵ Plainly state the issue you’re addressing and what you hope to achieve.

✵ Keep your goal in mind: Don’t undermine your efforts with a hostile or inappropriate tone.