Choose active or passive verbs to reflect the previous principles - Revising sentences - Part I. Research and writing: from planning to production

A manual for writers of research papers, theses, and dissertations, 7th edition - Kate L. Turabian 2007

Choose active or passive verbs to reflect the previous principles
Revising sentences
Part I. Research and writing: from planning to production

You may recall advice to avoid passive verbs—good advice, when a passive verb forces you to write a sentence that contradicts the principles we have discussed, as in the second sentence of this passage:

12a. Global warming may have many catastrophic effects. Tropical diseases and destructive insect life even north of the Canadian border could be increasedpassive verb by this climatic change.

That second sentence opens with an eleven-word subject conveying new information: Tropical diseases . . . Canadian border. It is the subject of a passive verb, be increased, and that verb is followed by a short, familiar bit of information from the sentence before: by this climatic change. That sentence would be clearer if its verb were active:

12b. Global warming may have many catastrophic effects. This climatic change could increaseactive verb tropical diseases and destructive insect life even north of the Canadian border.

Now the subject is familiar, and the new information in the longer phrase is at the end. In this case, the active verb is the right choice.

But if you never make a verb passive, you'll write sentences that contradict the old-new principle. We saw an example in (10a):

10a. New questions about the nature of the universe have been raised by scientists studying black holes in space. The collapse of a dead star into a point perhaps no larger than a marble createsactive verb a black hole. So much matter squeezed into so little volume changes the fabric of space around it in odd ways.

The verb in the second sentence is active, but the passage flows better when it's passive:

10b. New questions about the nature of the universe have been raised by scientists studying black holes in space. A black hole is createdpassive verb by the collapse of a dead star into a point no larger than a marble. So much matter squeezed into so little volume changes the fabric of space around it in odd ways.

Readers prefer a subject that is short, concrete, and familiar, regardless of its following verb. So choose active or passive, depending on which gives you the right kind of subject: short, concrete, and familiar. You can best judge how your readers will respond to your writing if you have someone read it back to you. If that person stumbles or seems to drone, you can bet that your readers will like your prose less than you do.