Rules for writers, Tenth edition - Diana Hacker, Nancy Sommers 2021
Draft and revise a working thesis statement
Exploring, planning, and drafting
A process for writing
For many types of writing, you will be able to state your central idea in a sentence or two. Such a statement, which ordinarily appears at the end of your introduction, is called a thesis statement or simply a thesis.
Understanding what makes an effective thesis statement
An effective thesis statement is a central idea that conveys your purpose, or reason for writing, and that requires support. An effective thesis should
✵ state a position that needs to be explained and supported
✵ use concrete language and be sharply focused
✵ let your readers know what to expect
✵ be appropriate for the assignment’s length requirements, and not too broad or too narrow
✵ pass the “So what?” test (see p. 8)
Drafting a working thesis
As you explore your topic, you will begin to see ways to focus your material. You might try stating your topic as a question and then turning your question into a position. You’ll find that the process of answering a question or taking a position on a debatable topic will focus your thinking and lead you to develop a working thesis.
For example, here are the efforts of a student, Jared, to pose a question and draft a working thesis for an essay in his ethics course.
QUESTION
Should athletes who enhance their performance through biotechnology be banned from athletic competition?
WORKING THESIS
Athletes who boost their performance through biotechnology should be banned from athletic competition.
This working thesis offers a useful place to start writing, a way to narrow the topic and focus a first draft. However, it doesn’t respond to readers who will ask why this topic matters or why these athletes should be banned. To fully answer his own question, Jared pushed his thinking with the word because.
STRONGER WORKING THESIS
Athletes who boost their performance through biotechnology should be banned from athletic competition because biotechnology gives them an unfair advantage and disrupts the sense of fair play.
Revising a working thesis
As you move toward a clearer and more specific position you want to take, you’ll start to see ways to revise your working thesis. As your ideas develop, your working thesis will change, too. You may find that the evidence you’ve collected supports a different thesis or that your position has changed as you have learned more about your topic. Or you might find instead that your position isn’t clear and needs to become more specific.
One effective way to revise a working thesis is to put it to the “So what?” test below.
PUTTING YOUR WORKING THESIS TO THE “SO WHAT?” TEST
Use the following questions to help you revise your working thesis.
✵ Why would readers want to read an essay with this thesis?
✵ How would you respond to a reader who hears your thesis and asks “So what?” or “Why does it matter?”
✵ Is your thesis debatable? Can you anticipate counterarguments (objections) to your thesis?
✵ How will you establish common ground with readers who may not agree with your argument?
HOW TO
Solve five common problems with thesis statements
Revising a working thesis is easier if you have a method or an approach. The following problem/solution approach can help you recognize and solve common thesis problems.
1. Common problem: The thesis is a statement of fact.
Solution: Enter a debate by posing a question about your topic that has more than one possible answer. For example: Should the polygraph be used by private employers? Your thesis should be your answer to the question. |
o Working thesis: The first polygraph was developed by Dr. John Larson in 1921. Revised: Because the polygraph has not been proved reliable, even under controlled conditions, its use by private employers should be banned. |
2. Common problem: The thesis is a question.
Solution: Take a position on your topic by answering the question you have posed. Your thesis should be your answer to the question. |
o Working thesis: Why did so many companies release ads about racism in 2020? Revised: Because corporate social responsibility matters to both customers and employees, companies in the U.S. advertised their values more than their products in 2020, using their platforms to speak out against racism. |
3. Common problem: The thesis is too broad.
Solution: Focus on a subtopic of your original topic. Once you have chosen a subtopic, take a position in an ongoing debate and pose a question that has more than one answer. For example: Should people be tested for genetic diseases? Your thesis should be your answer to the question. |
o Working thesis: Mapping the human genome has many implications for health and science. Revised: Now that scientists can detect genetic predisposition for specific diseases, policymakers should establish clear guidelines about whom to test and under what circumstances. |
4. Common problem: The thesis is too narrow.
Solution: Identify challenging questions that readers might ask about your topic. Then pose a question that has more than one answer. For example: Do the risks of genetic testing outweigh its usefulness? Your thesis should be your answer to the question. |
o Working thesis: A person who carries a genetic mutation linked to a particular disease might or might not develop that disease. Revised: Avoiding genetic testing is a smart course of action because of both its emotional risks and medical limitations. |
5. Common problem: The thesis is vague.
Solution: Focus your thesis with concrete language and clues about where the essay is headed. Pose a question about the topic that has more than one answer. For example: How does the physical structure of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial shape the experience of visitors? Your thesis — your answer to the question — should use specific language. |
o Working thesis: The Vietnam Veterans Memorial is an interesting structure. Revised: By inviting visitors to see their own reflections in the wall, the Vietnam Veterans Memorial creates a link between the present and the past. |
EXERCISE 1-3
In each of the following pairs, which sentence would be an effective working thesis for a short paper? Why would the other sentence be ineffective? Is it too factual? Too broad? Too vague? Use the problem/solution approach presented on pages 9—10 to evaluate each sentence.
1.
a. Many drivers use their cell phones irresponsibly while driving.
b. Current state laws are inadequate to punish drivers who use their cell phones irresponsibly to text, read email, or perform other distracting activities.
2.
a. The electoral college creates imbalanced elections because it gives disproportionate decision-making power to states with fewer people.
b. The electoral college was created to make presidential elections more balanced.
3.
a. As we search to define the intelligence of animals, we run the risk of imposing our own understanding of intelligence on animals.
b. How does the field of animal psychology help humans define intelligence?
4.
a. The high cost of college needs to be reduced because it affects students and their families.
b. To reduce the high cost of college, more students should be offered opportunities for dual-enrollment courses and a three-year college degree.
5.
a. Opioid addiction affects people of all ages and from every socioeconomic group.
b. The most effective way of treating opioid addiction is with combination therapies; often a single therapy is not enough.