Rules for writers, Tenth edition - Diana Hacker, Nancy Sommers 2021
As a rule, choose a subject that names the person or thing doing the action
Prefer active verbs
Clarity
In weak, unemphatic writing, both the actor and the action may be buried in sentence elements other than the subject and the verb. In the following weak sentence, for example, both the actor and the action appear in prepositional phrases, word groups that do not receive much attention from readers.
WEAK |
The institution of the New Deal had the effect of reversing some of the economic inequalities of the Great Depression. |
EMPHATIC |
The New Deal reversed some of the economic inequalities of the Great Depression. |
Consider the subjects and verbs of the two versions — institution had versus New Deal reversed. The second version expresses the writer’s point more emphatically.
EXERCISE 8-1
Revise any weak, unemphatic sentences by replacing passive verbs or be verbs with active alternatives. If a sentence is emphatic, do not change it. Possible revisions appear in the back of the book.
a. The Saxons were defeated by the Prussians in 1745.
b. The entire operation is managed by Ahmed, the producer.
c. The sea kayaks were expertly paddled by the tour guides.
d. At the crack of rocket and mortar blasts, I jumped from the top bunk and landed on my buddy below, who was crawling on the floor looking for his boots.
e. The protesters’ shouts were heard by the senator as she walked up the Capitol steps.
EXERCISE 8-2
For each writing situation below, decide whether it is more appropriate to use the active voice or the passive voice. Answers appear in the back of the book.
a. You are writing a research paper explaining the effects of a deadly bacterial outbreak in a remote Chilean village. (active / passive)
b. You are writing a letter to the editor, praising an emergency medical technician whose quick action saved an injured motorist. (active / passive)
c. You are writing a summary of the procedure you used in an experiment for your biology class. (active / passive)
d. To accompany your résumé, you must write a cover letter explaining your recent accomplishments. (active / passive)
e. You must fill out an incident report, explaining in detail how your actions led to a collision between the forklift you were operating and a wall of fully stocked shelves. (active / passive)