Rules for writers, Tenth edition - Diana Hacker, Nancy Sommers 2021
Untangle the grammatical structure
Untangle mixed constructions
Clarity
A mixed construction contains sentence parts that do not sensibly fit together. The mismatch may be a matter of grammar or of logic.
11a Untangle the grammatical structure.
Do not begin a sentence with one grammatical plan and switch without warning to another. Often you must rethink the purpose of the sentence and revise.
MIXED |
For most drivers who have a blood alcohol content of .05 percent double their risk of causing an accident. |
The writer begins the sentence with a long prepositional phrase and makes it the subject of the verb double. But a prepositional phrase can serve only as a modifier; it cannot be the subject of a sentence.
REVISED |
For most drivers who have a blood alcohol content of .05 percent, the risk of causing an accident is doubled. |
REVISED |
Most drivers who have a blood alcohol content of .05 percent double their risk of causing an accident. |
In the first revision, the writer begins with the prepositional phrase and finishes the sentence with a proper subject and verb (risk … is doubled). In the second revision, the writer stays with the original verb (double) and begins the sentence another way, making drivers the subject of double.
FOR MULTILINGUAL WRITERS
When writing in English, watch out for double subjects, which can happen when a noun and pronoun try to serve the same grammatical function in a sentence. See 30c.
Also take care not to repeat an object or adverb in an adjective clause. See 30d.