Combine choppy sentences - Emphasize key ideas - Clarity

Rules for writers, Tenth edition - Diana Hacker, Nancy Sommers 2021

Combine choppy sentences
Emphasize key ideas
Clarity

Short sentences demand attention, so you should use them primarily for emphasis. Too many short sentences, one after the other, will give your writing a choppy effect.

If an idea is not important enough to deserve its own sentence, try combining it with a sentence close by. Put any minor ideas in subordinate structures such as phrases or subordinate clauses. (See 49.)

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Although subordination is ordinarily the most effective technique for combining short, choppy sentences, coordination is appropriate when the ideas are equal in importance.

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FOR MULTILINGUAL WRITERS

Unlike some other languages, written English does not repeat objects or adverbs in adjective clauses. See 30d.

The apartment that we rented it needed repairs.

o The pronoun it cannot repeat the relative pronoun that.

EXERCISE 14-2

Combine the following sentences by subordinating minor ideas or by coordinating ideas of equal importance. You must decide which ideas are minor because the sentences are given out of context. Possible revisions appear in the back of the book.

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a. The X-Men comic books and Japanese woodcuts of kabuki dancers were part of Marlena’s research project on popular culture. They covered the tabletop and the chairs.

b. The students organized a petition. The petition asked to change the school motto. The motto was “A man’s greatest strength is his education.”

c. Employees can apply for a spot in the leadership program. The program teaches management and communication skills.

d. Shore houses were flooded up to the first floor. Beaches were washed away. Brant’s Lighthouse was swallowed by the sea.

e. Laura Thackray was an engineer at Volvo Car Corporation. She addressed women’s safety needs. She designed a pregnant crash-test dummy.