Rules for writers, Tenth edition - Diana Hacker, Nancy Sommers 2021

Try inverting sentences occasionally
Provide some variety
Clarity

A sentence is inverted if it does not follow the normal subject- verb-object pattern. Many inversions sound artificial and should be avoided, except in the most formal contexts. If an inversion sounds natural, however, it can provide a welcome touch of variety.

Inverted sentences are used for emphasis as well as for variety (see 14f).

EXERCISE 15-1

Improve variety in each of the following sentences by using the technique suggested in brackets. Possible revisions appear in the back of the book.

a. The exhibits for insects and spiders are across the hall from the fossils exhibit. [Invert the sentence.]

b. Sayuri becomes a successful geisha after growing up desperately poor. [Move the adverb clause to the beginning of the sentence.]

c. Researchers have been studying Mount St. Helens for years. They believe that earthquakes may have caused the 1980 eruption. [Combine the two sentences into a complex sentence.]

d. Ice cream typically contains 10 percent milk fat. Premium ice cream may contain up to 16 percent milk fat and has less air in it. [Combine the two sentences as a compound sentence.]

e. The economy may recover quickly if home values climb. [Move the adverb clause to the beginning of the sentence.]

EXERCISE 15-2

Edit the following paragraph to increase sentence variety.

Making architectural models is a skill that requires patience and precision. It is an art that illuminates a design. Architects come up with a grand and intricate vision. Draftspersons convert that vision into blueprints. The model maker follows the blueprints. The model maker builds a miniature version of the structure. Modelers can work in traditional materials like wood and clay and paint. Modelers can work in newer materials like Styrofoam and liquid polymers. Some modelers still use cardboard, paper, and glue. Other modelers prefer glue guns, deformable plastic, and thin aluminum and brass wire. The modeler may seem to be making a small mess in the early stages of model building. In the end the modeler has completed a small-scale structure. Architect Rem Koolhaas has insisted that plans reveal the logic of a design. He has argued that models expose the architect’s vision. The model maker’s art makes this vision real.