Start strong - How to not write bad

How to not write bad - Ben Yagoda 2013

Start strong
How to not write bad

Here is the most underrated writing tip I know: when possible, make the subject of a sentence a person, a collection of persons, or a thing. When you choose a concept or some other intangible as a subject, you’re generally forced into an awkward verb or, at best, the passive voice.

[Intelligence is a quality shared by every member of the family.]

Everybody in the family is smart.

[Benefits an organization gains when reusing water include sustainability, good publicity, great economic incentives, and good relations with water conservation programs, said Huang.]

Huang said that when an organization reuses water, it gains many benefits: sustainability, publicity, economic incentives, and good relations with water conservation programs.

[Qualities such as imagination and engagement are qualities the admissions board ways heavily.]

Qualities such as those qualities; ways instead of weighs. Hard as it may be to believe, I certify this is an actual student sentence. Anyweigh, I mean anyway:

The admissions board is always on the lookout for qualities like imagination and engagement.

[Unusual flavor pairings are what best characterize Chef Juan Garces’ restaurants.]

Chef Juan Garces is known for pairing unusual flavors.

The following three-sentence excerpt from an article about a city council meeting is a symphony of weak openings. And by the way, either that is a spell-check error in the first sentence or it was an extraordinarily tense meeting.

[The opening of the meeting was similar to past openings with mediation and the pledge of allegiance. Applause was loud when Mayor Funk hugged and congratulated Rose Gallante, Anita Hunter, Harry McKenry, Judy Miller, and finally Euretta Schultheiss on their contributions to the Newark Police Department. The years of dedication ranged from three years of service to eighteen.]

The meeting opened with the customary moment of silent meditation followed by the Pledge of Allegiance. Mayor Funk congratulated Rose Gallante, Anita Hunter, Harry McKenry, Judy Miller, and Euretta Schultheiss on their service—ranging from three to eighteen years—to the Newark Police Department. As he was hugging them, spectators erupted into thunderous applause.