How to not write bad - Ben Yagoda 2013

Possessed
How to not write wrong

The basic form of possessive apostrophes is blank’s thingamajig, where both words are nouns and thingamajig belongs to or is associated with blank. Another way to look at it is that an apostrophe is called for if you can change the wording to the thingamajig of blank. This is incredibly common in speaking, writing, and singing, as exemplified in the songs “Mickey’s Monkey,” “Judy’s Turn to Cry,” and “John Brown’s Body.”

The basic form is easy enough. It can get a little trickier when you’re indicating a possessive of a noun ending with the letter s. Here’s a two-step way to deal with it. (1) An apostrophe always follows the s. (2) If the word is a singular, or a proper name, you put another s after the apostrophe. If not, you do not.

Phyllis’s dress’s zipper is broken.

However (and this is step 3), if the word is a plural, most style guides have you leave out the second s, on the theory, I guess, that it’s not pronounced.

The first half of the twins’ birthday party is being held at the Smiths’ house and the second part at the Joneses’.

That example brings two further guidelines to mind. First, the plural of Jones is indeed Joneses. Most s-ending common and proper nouns follow an add -es form; the most common exception is series, the plural of which is series. Second, if you want to put a sign outside your house—a questionable idea to begin with—inscribe the plural of your name followed by an apostrophe, that is, The Yagodas’; “house” or “place” is understood. An apostrophe-less The Yagodas just makes it seem like a verb is missing. And The Yagoda’s makes no sense, except in reference to the domicile of a person who refers to himself as “The Yagoda.”

A final apostrophe issue is where (if anywhere) it’s placed in formulations like Farmers Market, Boys Club, and Stockholders Meeting.

I confess that I find this a toughie. What helps clear it up for me is pretending that the first word in the phrase is men—or women or children or any plural that doesn’t end in s. You would never write men room, men department, or men club, and you obviously shouldn’t write mens room, mens department, etc. (because there is no such word as mens). Instead, the correct forms would be men’s room, men’s department, and men’s club. It works out that almost always the apostrophe should follow the s. And the above examples should be Farmers’ Market, Boys’ Club, and Stockholders’ Meeting. In fact, in phrases like this, the apostrophe should almost always follow the s. (The exception, such as farmer’s tan, Mother’s Day, or, speaking of songs, “It’s a Man’s World,” comes where the reference is to the prototypical singular farmer, mom, or man.)