Use active voice - Step 6 – Revise

7 Steps to Better Writing - Charles Maxwell 2020

Use active voice
Step 6 – Revise

Voice describes the relationship between a sentence’s subject and verb. When the subject acts, the sentence is active voice. On the other hand, when the subject receives action, it is passive voice. Passive voice generally includes a form of the to be verb—is, are, was, were—and a past participle. The following examples illustrate passive and active voice.


Poor: Passive Voice

-

The agency’s comments were being evaluated by the company.


Better: Active Voice

+

The company evaluated the agency’s comments.


Poor: Passive Voice

-

The time to drill a new well is estimated by the manager to take 3 weeks.


Better: Active Voice

+

The manager estimates it will take 3 weeks to drill a new well.


Poor: Passive Voice

-

It was reported that a revised report was submitted.


Better: Active Voice

+

The clinic reported it submitted a revised report.

+

The clinic submitted a revised report.


Poor: Passive Voice

-

It was encouraged to follow the policy of the company.


Better: Active Voice

+

The company encouraged employees to follow policy.

+

Company policy encouraged obedience.


Poor: Passive Voice

-

Critical business information is stored in a special file directory.


Better: Active Voice

+

The department stores critical business information in a special file directory.

+

A special file directory stores critical business information.


Poor: Passive Voice

-

The by-pass circuit was removed by the electrician.


Better: Active Voice

+

The electrician removed the by-pass circuit.

In addition to the to be verb, get and become can form passive voice, as the following examples illustrate.


Poor: Passive Voice

-

If the wire should get broken, the signal would become distorted.


Better: Active Voice

+

If the wind breaks the wire, the damage will distort the signal.

+

A broken wire will distort the signal.


Poor: Passive Voice

-

The syringe was gotten rid of by the nurse.


Better: Active Voice

+

The nurse disposed of the syringe.


Poor: Passive Voice

-

The boy got hit.


Better: Active Voice

+

The ball hit the boy.

Some situations require passive voice. For instance, when those performing action are unknown or unnamed, you may need to use passive voice. For example: “The office was painted last week.

Another use is to avoid assigning responsibility or sounding critical. For example: “The keys were lost.” Instead of: “James lost the keys.”

A third use is to control focus, such as the following example.


Poor: Active Voice (Focus split between child and mother)

-

What is the name of the child whose mother gave birth to him this morning?


Better: Passive Voice (Focus maintained on child)

+

What is the name of the child who was born this morning?

In the prior example, active voice creates a ping-pong focus; that is, the sentence focuses first on the child, then on the mother, then back on the child; while the passive sentence keeps the focus on the child.

Regarding the control of focus, some people have argued that the second of the following two sentences is better when the writer wants to focus on the cat by making the cat the subject of the sentence:

· The dog chased the cat. (active voice)

· The cat was chased by the dog. (passive voice)

However, the argument ignores the option of making cat the subject of the sentence and using active voice as illustrated by the following sentence:

· The cat fled from the dog. (active voice)

Generally speaking, recasting passive voice into active voice cures other problems with poorly drafted sentences. This occurs, because most of the time active voice:

· Improves the flow of ideas

· Provides more information, by identifying the doer of action

· Emphasizes the doer of action, by making it the subject of the independent clause

· Creates more energy

· Improves understanding

Active voice increases comprehension, because the human mind wants to know who did what, and active voice immediately makes clear who did what. This enables readers to read active voice faster. And faster reading conveys the genuine feeling that the material is clear and easy to read. However, (as shown before) if active voice diverts focus away from what is important or creates a ping-pong focus, then balance the advantages of active voice against its weaknesses.

The important thing is to be aware of voice and use it effectively.