Use parallel construction to discuss similar ideas - Step 6 – Revise

7 Steps to Better Writing - Charles Maxwell 2020

Use parallel construction to discuss similar ideas
Step 6 – Revise

Express similar ideas using similar construction. This helps the reader rapidly absorb your ideas. This is important when listing activities, such as in a report or plan. Here are examples.


Poor: Different Construction

-

Last week the planner’s activities included:

· Working with Simmons to get pricing for the IP project.

· Sue will check the fleet cost.

· The two light vehicles have damaged windshields.

· Service is due for the grader.

· Reviewed the invoice from CP Equipment.


Better: Parallel Construction

+

Last week the planner:

· Worked with Simmons to get pricing for the IP project.

· Asked Sue to check the fleet cost.

· Arranged windshield repairs for two light vehicles.

· Scheduled service for the grader.

· Reviewed the invoice from CP Equipment.


Poor: Different Construction: Sentences in one paragraph using differing verb tenses

-

I am working with Simmons to get pricing for the IP project. Sue will check the fleet cost. The two light vehicles have damaged windshields. Service is due for the grader.


Better: Parallel Construction: Sentences in one paragraph using consistent verb tense

+

I am working with Ray to price the IP project. Sue is checking the fleet cost. We are arranging to repair the two vehicles with damaged windshields. We are planning to repair the grader.

Parallel forms also improve individual sentences, as shown by the following examples.


Poor: Different Construction

-

I am concerned with his being late, and he did not prepare.


Better: Parallel Construction

+

I am concerned he was late and unprepared.


Poor: Different Construction

-

It was both a difficult assignment and tiring.


Better: Parallel Construction

+

The assignment was difficult and tiring.


Poor: Different Construction

-

The company’s having experienced employees, a project portfolio, which is large, and making a lot of money from investments enabled the company to compete effectively.


Better: Parallel Construction

+

The company’s experienced employees, extensive project portfolio, and successful investments enabled the company to compete effectively.


Poor: Different Construction

-

Career success comes from being at the right place during times that are good and being recognized as not causing trouble.


Better: Parallel Construction

+

Career success comes from being at the right place at the right time doing the right things.


Poor: Different Construction

-

The project is under budget, and it is taking less time than forecast.


Better: Parallel Construction

+

The project is under budget and ahead of schedule.

Occasionally, you may want to repeat the same preposition or other words in a series to create emphasis. You will not want to over use this device, but here is an example of its use.


Adequate Parallels

-

The stonemason laid the tile on the wall and floor.


Stronger Parallels

+

The stonemason laid the tile on the wall and on the floor.

When multiple sentence elements (phrases and clauses are long), the technique illustrated above can prove useful. For example:

To prepare to deliver a presentation, before you speak, relax your body by taking several deep breaths, by stretching your arms and legs, and by slowly moving your head from side to side and nodding up and down to stretch the muscles in your neck.

In summary, parallel writing improves readability. In fact, parallel writing can make words truly memorable, as demonstrated by these famous quotations:

Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country.” — spoken by John F. Kennedy, written by Kennedy in conjunction with his speechwriter Ted Sorensen

“... we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain—that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom—and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.” — Abraham Lincoln