Style - Resources

The only business writing book you’ll ever need - Laura Brown, Rich Karlgaard 2019

Style
Resources

Active Voice—Make Your Writing More Direct

The grammatical term “voice” refers to whether the subject of the sentence acts or receives the action. If the subject is doing the acting, the sentence is in the active voice (“Joe kicks the ball”); if the subject is acted upon, the sentence is in the passive voice (“The ball is kicked by Joe”). The passive voice is made up of a form of the verb “to be” and the past participle of another verb (e.g., “is eaten,” “are preferred,” “was chosen,” or “were stolen”).

Writers in many different settings tend to overuse the passive voice, and the result is often lackluster, vague writing.

COMMON REASONS FOR USING THE PASSIVE VOICE

To avoid taking responsibility (“We didn’t do it; it just happened.”)

Our fees for services were increased.

An error was made in calculating your statement.

To sound authoritative

The decision was investigated and was found to be sound.

To hedge

The project is expected to be completed on time.

No inconvenience to the occupants is anticipated.

BETTER REASONS FOR USING THE PASSIVE VOICE

You don’t know the actor or you prefer not to identify him or her

The fire alarm was set off over the weekend.

You want to emphasize the object of the action rather than the actor

The report was prepared by Terry Monroe.

(Where the emphasis is on the report, not on Terry.)

The new assistant was recommended by Jody McCarron.

(Where the emphasis is on the assistant, not on Jody.)

TRANSFORMING PASSIVE CONSTRUCTIONS INTO ACTIVE ONES

Transforming passive constructions into active constructions is easy, and the resulting sentences are usually shorter, more direct, more specific, and more interesting. To change a passive construction into an active one, identify the person or thing that is doing the action, make it the subject of the sentence, and continue with any necessary alterations. You may find that the actor isn’t present in the sentence at all; in that case, figure out what it is and insert it.

Passive: The speaker was ignored by the audience for most of the presentation.

Active: The audience ignored the speaker for most of the presentation.

Passive: The ship was prepared for launch by its crew.

Active: The ship’s crew prepared it for launch.

Passive: The novel was judged to be one of the best of the decade. (The actor is missing from this sentence.)

Active: Critics judged the novel to be one of the best of the decade.

Using a passive construction is not incorrect. In general, however, active constructions are more interesting and engaging to read. Becoming adept at using the passive and active voices will help you become a stronger and more skilled writer.

(For more about voice, please see Step 4.)

Reading, Writing, and Leadership

Jerry Reece

President Harry Truman once famously said, “Not all readers are leaders, but all leaders are readers.” This statement certainly rings true, as influential leaders from the past, including President Teddy Roosevelt and Sir Winston Churchill, frequently traveled around the world with their libraries at their disposal.

I had the pleasure of meeting Alfred W. Tatum, PhD—the dean of the College of Education at the University of Illinois at Chicago. Dr. Tatum informed me that he uses a scale to make sure he reads five pounds of books per month. I have personally adopted this practice and encourage everyone who has leadership aspirations to read a lot, not just in their chosen fields but broadly across all topics.

However, I would take President Truman’s thought one step further and assert that not all writers are leaders, but all leaders are writers. Communication is the single most important key to leadership success. In all lines of business, the ability to effectively and persuasively write and communicate is what propels the great leaders above their peers.

In real estate, for example, you must be able to clearly, concisely, and efficiently convey your client’s intentions in written contracts without ambiguity; otherwise, deals are lost, and clients will leave you. To build a successful real estate career, it is not enough simply to be a good salesperson. You must also be able to translate what you say you can do into skillfully written documents so you can successfully close the deal.

In today’s fast-paced business world, strong reading and writing habits are more important than ever to the development of leadership skills. No amount of tech savvy can replace the critical thinking skills built through reading and writing, and the amount of “noise” in the environment makes clear communication even more important. The libraries we carry with us now may be on our iPads rather than in printed books, but the top business leaders still read widely and prioritize strong written communication.

Jerry Reece is chairman emeritus of ReeceNichols, a leader in real estate in the Kansas City area.

This What?

Here’s a quick and easy trick to help you cultivate a more engaging writing style: avoid using the word “this” as a stand-alone subject. “This” can be used in two ways.

As a demonstrative pronoun: This is difficult.

Or as an adjective: This project is difficult.

When used as a pronoun, “this” stands in the place of a noun. In a sentence like “This is difficult,” you can assume that, from the context, people know what “this” means. It’s a little harder to follow, however, when you try to use the pronoun “this” to stand in for something more complex than a simple idea. Let’s look at an example:

We might improve the process by having the prep team notify AK when the first phase has been completed. This would allow AK to prepare to move the product to phase two. This could eliminate an entire step of the HD process.

In the second and third sentences above, what do you figure “this” means? This what? In these sentences, “this” is being asked to do too much, and the result is vague, weak prose. Let’s look at a revision:

We might improve the process by having the prep team notify AK when the first phase been completed. AK could then prepare early to move the product to phase two. Setting up this kind of notification system could eliminate an entire step of the HD process.

The revision is more specific and easier to follow. Is it possible for a reader to guess what the original version means? Probably. Is it better not to make the reader guess? Certainly.

When you’re about to use “this” to stand in for a complex idea, take a moment to write out what you mean explicitly. If you have trouble doing so, it’s a sign that you were “cheating” a little bit and expecting that little word to do the hard work you didn’t want to do. Taking the trouble to think through exactly what you mean will help guide your reader and make your point more clearly.

Gender-Neutral Language

The English language has gendered pronouns in the third person—that is, “he” and “she.” Once upon a time, the masculine pronouns “he,” “him,” “his,” and “himself” were considered acceptable for use as gender-neutral pronouns in situations where the sex of the person was not known:

Everyone should lock his office door at the end of the day.

The successful executive has confidence, and he can communicate effectively with everyone.

A worker is only as good as his tools.

Modern man no longer coddles himself during pregnancy. He continues to work often until days before he goes into labor and delivers.

That last example calls into question the neutrality of the pronoun, doesn’t it? Today, the masculine pronoun is no longer considered gender-neutral, which leaves professional writers with some choices to make when they want to be inclusive. No one has yet developed a widely accepted gender-neutral English pronoun, so we’re left with a few different options when we want to write without specifying the gender of the person we’re talking about.

USE “HE OR SHE” OR “SHE OR HE”

The phrases “he or she” or “she or he” can work, especially if used sparingly. This construction can be clunky when it’s used in situations where the pronoun appears more than once in a single sentence:

Everyone should lock his or her office door at the end of the day.

But not:

Everyone should lock his or her office door at the end of the day and ensure that he or she turns off the copier and printer.

USE S/HE AND HIS/HER

This option is typographically more efficient than using “she or he,” but it reads unnaturally:

The successful executive has confidence, and s/he can communicate effectively with everyone.

ALTERNATE USING “HE” AND “SHE”

If you have a fairly long text that features a lot of pronouns, you can alternate using “he” and “she,” showing equal favor to both. That’s the primary approach chosen for this book. However, it won’t work if you have a string of sentences that require the pronoun; the alternation will seem bizarre and confusing.

USE “THEY” AND “THEIR” AS SINGULAR PRONOUNS

Many writers use “they” and “their” to refer back to a singular subject, when the gender of that subject is unknown:

Everyone should lock their office door at the end of the day.

Somebody got their handprints all over the bathroom mirror; they ought to go back and clean it off.

Sticklers and traditionalists will point out that this construction is grammatically incorrect, because “everyone” is singular and “their” is plural. They’re right, and you should be aware that some readers won’t approve of this solution to the gender-neutral challenge. However, it’s an approach that many, if not most, people have adopted in everyday speech. There are examples of “they” used as a singular pronoun going back as far as the fourteenth century, and it was only in the nineteenth century that grammarians began to object to it. For us ­twenty-first-century types, using “they” as a singular pronoun is probably all right in most settings; in very formal writing, it might be smart to find another alternative.

PLURALIZE YOUR SENTENCE

Instead of making a plural work as a singular, and possibly alienating some readers, consider pluralizing the whole sentence:

Successful executives have confidence, and they can communicate effectively with everyone.

Workers are only as good as their tools.

REWRITE THE SENTENCE TO AVOID USING THIRD-PERSON PRONOUNS

Sometimes the best solution is to rewrite the sentence without third-person pronouns. This approach is always safe:

Please lock your office door at the end of the day.

Whoever got handprints all over the mirror should go back and clean it up.

BE CONSISTENT

Whatever option you choose, be sure you implement it consistently; don’t switch from one style to another in midstream.

Not:

The new STEP app allows users to choose what action to take once he/she logs in.

But:

The new STEP app allows users to choose what action to take once they log in.

Or:

The new STEP app allows each user to choose what action to take once he/she logs in.