Booher's Rules of Business Grammar - Dianna Booher 2009
“You know what they always say about that”
Pesky pronouns: The understudies
UNCLEAR REFERENCES
“It all started when they wouldn’t leave us alone.” Who’s they? When what all started? Have you ever wanted to interrupt a storyteller with such questions?
Unclear:
Surveys, comment cards, and hotlines are popular ways to gather customer satisfaction data. This has been the key ingredient in our success.
What does this in the previous sentence refer to? Gathering data? Customer satisfaction? Steer clear of sentences containing unclear pronouns; that is, pronouns that can have multiple meanings in the context of a sentence.
Horatio asked me to design a multifaceted marketing campaign to introduce the new e-book to the marketplace, particularly to the software analysts who already are acquainted with our products and who would be the most likely of our clients to be interested in them. It should be quick and easy to access. Our team should be able to demo them from anywhere. Then we need to have a way to measure results from it. Are the assumptions and principles we’ve outlined working? They’ll want a way to report their opinions to us.
As you read this previous passage, you may not have been confused at all. That’s why this silly error becomes so serious: people don’t realize that they’ve misunderstood what you said until somebody starts asking questions or taking action. To demonstrate what I mean, here’s the same passage repeated with my questions inserted beside each unclear reference:
Horatio asked me to design a multifaceted marketing campaign to introduce the new e-book to the marketplace, particularly to the software analysts who already are acquainted with our products and who would be the most likely of our clients to be interested in them. (interested in our products or in the new e-book?)
It should be quick and easy to access. (must be referring to the new e-book, because it is singular.)
Our team should be able to demo them from anywhere. (products or e-book? Them is plural.)
Then we need to have a way to measure results from it. (results from the marketing campaign or the strategies from the e-book?)
Are the assumptions and principles we’ve outlined working? (those in the e-book or those in the campaign?)
They’ll want a way to report their opinions to us. (buyers will want to report or the sales team will want to report? Who is us—the people responsible for the marketing campaign or the people responsible for creating the e-book content?)
Take care with this, that, they, these, those, or it when those words can refer to multiple things. Substitute specific nouns for unclear pronouns. Here’s the paragraph again—as they always say, the third time’s the charm.
Horatio asked me to design a multifaceted marketing campaign to introduce the new e-book to the marketplace, particularly to the software analysts who already are acquainted with our products and who would be the most likely of our clients to be interested in the e-book. The new book should be quick and easy to access. Our team should be able to demo it and all our products from anywhere. Then we need to have a way to measure results from clients who use the book. Are the assumptions and principles we’ve outlined working? The marketing and sales teams will want a way to report buyer opinions to us.
If there’s room for confusion, bring the starring noun back on stage and send the understudy to the shower.
Memory tip
“You know what they always say.” Consider that common phrase a reminder that people are asking the same thing about your communication: Who are they? What’s the it? What’s the which?