Booher's Rules of Business Grammar - Dianna Booher 2009
Can you hook me up?
Modifier mishaps
DANGLING MODIFIERS
Bob Murphey, a motivational-speaker friend of mine now deceased, lost his arm early in life and made a career of telling funny stories about weird comments people made to him about the situation. He got one of the biggest laughs telling about the time a wide-eyed stranger walked up to him and said, “Mister, did you know you lost your arm there?”
“Yep,” Bob deadpanned, “I noticed that.”
Silence. No further explanation—to the stranger or Bob’s audiences.
Danglers remind me of that conversation. The writer or speaker starts to reveal something. The moment is pregnant, ripe for full revelation, then nothing. Zippo. The next idea just doesn’t connect. The words with promise just hang in midair, not connecting to what follows.
Seeing that no one was injured in the accident, the car was left on the side of the road overnight. (So the car has eyesight? Or did the car’s driver see that no one was injured and leave the car on the side of the road? Or, maybe a police officer saw the accident, discovered that no one was injured, and then left the car without stopping to investigate because she was racing to rescue someone from an abduction on the other side of the city. You never know in a case like this.)
That’s often the problem with danglers. The writer thinks the meaning is obvious; to the reader, it is not. Such words or phrases dangle because they aren’t attached to anything. With misplaced modifiers, at least the words they describe are somewhere in the sentence. But danglers don’t attach to anything but a mysterious thought in the speaker’s or writer’s mind.
Tired and grouchy, the TV was a comfort each evening after work. (The TV was tired and grouchy?)
More often than not, danglers are verb forms ending in —ing or —ed (technically called participles). They may dangle at the beginning or the end of a sentence.
Walking the dog in the quiet before dawn, my cell phone startled me. (Cell phones do have new features today, but I haven’t seen the “walking the dog” option on mine yet.)
Having received approval on the deal earlier in the week, the documents were ready to be signed. (Who received the approval? Where did this wheeler-dealer go? He’s not in the sentence anywhere.)
Such sentences jump off the page—when someone else writes them. But they’re not as easy to spot in your own writing. The trick to catching them is diligence in looking for those descriptors ending in —ing and —ed.
Incorrect:
Downgraded to a category 3 hurricane, Eldora decided to go see her parents over the weekend about her anger over the money. (I’m a little confused here. Is Eldora being referred to as a hurricane because of her temper?)
Correct:
With the hurricane downgraded to a category 3, Eldora decided to go see her parents over the weekend about her anger over the money.
Incorrect:
To be as up front as possible about past involvement with that organization, the report contains all employment dates and supervisors. (A report can’t be “up front.” The writer of that report may decide to be forthcoming or deceitful—but the report has no mind of its own.)
Correct:
To be as up front as possible about past involvement with that organization, Gertrude listed all employment dates and supervisors in the report.
Incorrect:
The house should be put on the market immediately, considering my cash-flow situation. (Who is considering the cash-flow situation? The homeowner? The mortgage holder? His creditors? Although this dangler comes at the end of the sentence, the reader still doesn’t know who’s “considering.”)
Correct:
Considering my cash-flow situation, I’ve decided to put my house on the market immediately.
Instruction manuals also provide a plethora of examples. Attendees in our technical writing workshops, in fact, see them so often that they can’t figure out another way to write their procedures. To correct the danglers in procedures, write directly to the person following the instructions.
Incorrect:
When applying pressure, the tube should be upright. (Is the tube going to apply pressure? Probably, a person will.)
Correct:
When applying pressure, you should place the tube upright.
Correct:
When applying pressure, place the tube upright. (The first phrase now attaches to the understood subject of “you.”)
Incorrect:
Using the new code, files should be named by date. (The files probably aren’t going to use the codes.)
Correct:
Using the new code, name the files by date.
If you let your descriptors dangle in public, you’ll confuse and amuse.
Absolutes: These Common Phrases Don’t Dangle
Some common sentence starters seem to dangle—but don’t. That is, they don’t dangle in the sense we’re talking about here. The grammatical term for them is absolutes; they have absolutely nothing to do with the rest of the sentence. Commonly used to introduce a thought, they have become simply manners of speech. You will be perfectly correct to begin a sentence with them. For example: Generally speaking, international travel is still quite safe on that airline. Granted, the weather is unpredictable this time of year.
Generally speaking
Granted
To be sure
Alternatively
By and large
Barring unforeseen circumstances
When all is said and done
Contrary to popular belief
To tell the truth
To be perfectly honest
To be perfectly clear
Strictly speaking
In the final analysis
In the long run
On the whole
Memory tip
Visualize a sentence beginning or ending with a descriptive phrase. That phrase tosses out a rope to lasso the first or last word in the main part of the sentence. If there’s no anchor post there (a word that makes sense), the rope falls short. The climber can’t hang securely to the mountain. The describing phrase doesn’t link correctly to the rest of the sentence.