Accidental poetry: Improve your english through creative writing - Lisa Lieberman 2015

Observations about parents

She has a mouth filled with gratitude and good words. — First year English student

Those who parent us as children are not always our mothers and fathers. They can be grandparents, aunts and uncles, older siblings, or other adults who have taken on the parenting role. In this chapter, I refer to those in the parenting role as the maternal figure and the paternal figure, but you can easily substitute them for whomever was responsible for your care during your childhood.

The first time I gave these exercises to new speakers, I was not surprised by the flood of emotions in the room when the students read out loud. Many of the students had never written about their parents before, and they surely had never shared their feelings in a classroom. One student in particular (I’ll call her Johanna) wrote about her refusal to wear a dress on her twenty-first birthday. It was the beginning of a dialogue with her mother whereby Johanna gently explained that she was a gay woman. When she and her mother hugged, Johanna wrote, she felt fully loved and free of fear. The room remained silent as she stopped reading to contain her emotions. A tissue was passed across the room to dry her tears. I was concerned at first that she had revealed more than she wanted to, and that she would feel embarrassed when we met later in the week for the next session. But my fears were alleviated when, at the end of the day, Johanna thanked me for the opportunity to write and share her story.

After using the Doctor Method, not only did the students feel more confident about their English skills, they were also finding their voices as writers, and the deep satisfaction that comes when others empathize with our experiences.

Let’s start with questions about the maternal figure, and then move on to exercises about the paternal figure. With each exercise, try to recall a specific incident that illustrates your feelings, and tell the story.

Maternal Figure

130.What was difficult for her?

131.What did she struggle with?

132.What did she love?

133.What did she look for in a husband or life partner? Were her needs met?

134.How much did she give to her husband or life partner?

135.Did she get the love she needed?

136.How did that affect your own choices?

137.What did she not want people to know about her?

138.What did she have to sacrifice?

139.What was her biggest fear?

140.What made her feel alive?

141.Which of her qualities have become yours?

142.Did she notice your natural virtues?

143.What did she teach you about love?

144.Did she live her life through her children?

145.How did she show her love?

146.Did she nurture her identity as an independent woman, or did she see herself as wife and mother?

147.What do you owe to your mother’s love?

Paternal Figure

148.Did he get the love he needed?

149.How did that affect him—and you?

150.How did he cope with disappointment?

151.What did he look for in a wife or life partner?

152.Were his needs met?

153.What was his relationship to money?

154.What did he teach you about success?

155.What was his secret fear?

156.What did he want most in his life?

157.What qualities of your paternal figure have become yours?

158.Did he find room in his heart to hear your voice?

159.Did he see the person you are or the person he wanted you to be?

161.How much did he expect of you?

162.It’s been said, “The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.” Did he do this for you?