100 ways to improve your writing - Gary Provost 2019
Show, don’t tell
Ten ways to develop style
Throughout this book I will remind you that shorter is almost always better. This is an exception. It usually takes more words to show than to tell, but you can afford a few extra words for a tool this valuable.
When you show people something, you are trusting them to make up their minds for themselves. Readers like to be trusted. Don’t dictate to them what they are supposed to see, or think, or feel. Let them see the person, situation, or thing you are describing, and they will not only like what you have written, they will like you for trusting them.
Look at the following letters from camp. Letter A tells; letter B shows. Which letter do you find more revealing: Which letter writer would you rather know—Irma, or Donna?
Letter A |
Letter B |
Dear Jan, My new boyfriend, Arnold, is a terrific athlete. He is also incredibly smart, very sentimental, and sort of strange. Yours truly, Irma |
Dear Jan, My new boyfriend, Arnold, ran five miles to my cabin in the middle of that lightning storm last week. When he got here, he stood out in the rain and started shouting how he loves me in five different languages. Yours truly, Donna |
Show, don’t tell. Even in business letters and memos.
You want Barbara Resnikoff to get a promotion, but you need the board’s approval. Which memo would Barbara Resnikoff prefer to have you send?
Memo A |
Memo B |
Ms. Resnikoff has been loyal, hardworking, and helpful to the company. I think she deserves a promotion. |
Ms. Resnikoff turned down two offers from Westinghouse last year. She worked fourteen-hour weekends, and she saved the Renaldo account even after it was discovered that the rabbit warehouse was empty. She deserves a promotion. |