100 ways to improve your writing - Gary Provost 2019

Don’t intrude
Twelve ways to avoid making your reader hate you

If you are going to put yourself into an article, memo, or story, do it early.

It’s okay to begin your profile, “I met Jane Fonda at the Top of the Pru in Boston. She was staring out at the Boston skyline. She was startled when I touched her.”

On the other hand, you are intruding if you have written forty-three paragraphs about Jane Fonda, all without mentioning yourself, and suddenly let drop: “She turned to me then, the weariness showing in her face, and I thought for a moment that she would place her head on my shoulder.”

Don’t make the reader ask the question: Where the hell did he come from?

Here are some other types of intrusions you must avoid:

1. Typographical and spelling errors, as well as blatant grammatical errors, will break the reader’s spell. They will remind him that he is reading.

“Ask not what you’re county can do for you, but what you can do for you’re country.”

2. Obscure words, difficult words, and words that don’t come within a mile of the meaning you are assigning to them will also break the reader’s spell.

Van was the cotyledon of the family, and Donna, the youngest, was of course the coup de grâce.

3. Using the same word in unrelated ways two or three times in a short space will also intrude on the reader’s trance.

The night was still and quiet. From our position on the hillside we could see that the still was still there.