Grammar Smart 3rd Edition - Princeton Review 2014

C. Misplaced Modifiers
Part 3. Putting It All Together

Examples from the Masters:

For all her chic thinness, she had an almost breakfast-cereal air of health, a soap and lemon cleanness, a rough pink darkening in the cheeks.

-Truman Capote, Breakfast at Tiffany’s

Thinking finally of the consequences, he fell to dreaming as the last horse, a yearling running at an angle, job-trotted into the corral to drink in the creek alongside the other shadowy horses deployed as regularly as a picket line.

-Thomas McGuane, Nobody’s Angel

What is remarkable about these sentences? Well, they’re a pleasure to read, and their modifiers aren’t misplaced. In Capote’s sentence, For all her chic thinness is describing someone: she. The noun being modified follows the modifier, so there is no confusion.

In McGuane’s sentence, who was thinking finally of the consequences? He, which immediately follows the modifier. McGuane has two correctly placed modifiers in his sentence. What were deployed as regularly as a picket line? The horses. Again, no confusion. Now let’s look at what not to do.

Running at top speed, my wig flew off.

Here we have a participial phrase, Running at top speed. Remember that participial phrases always act as adjectives. Who or what is being described? Wig is the only noun in the sentence, and it is placed right next to the phrase. So the sentence is constructed to make our phrase modify wig, which, unless this is wacky science fiction, is not the intention of the writer. Fix it by changing the sentence to the following:

I was running at top speed when my wig flew off.

Or: As I was running at top speed, my wig flew off.

What we have done is supply a subject for running at top speed; we have turned the participial phrase into a clause, with its own subject and verb.

Or: Running at top speed, I felt my wig fly off.

This time running at top speed is still a phrase, but what the phrase modifies comes right after the comma: I.

Check out the following examples:

While I was eating my pizza, the phone rang.

Not: While eating my pizza, the phone rang.

The camera photographed the satellite hurtling through space.

Not: Hurtling through space, the camera photographed the satellite.

We had a fabulous time at the party, dancing and carousing until dawn.

Not: The party was fabulous, dancing and carousing until dawn.

To make a lot of money, you must work hard.

Not: To make a lot of money, hard work is required.

Notice that all of these examples concern phrases—groups of words without subjects—and that the phrases cause confusion either because of their placement or because the thing being described is not actually mentioned in the sentence. The phone wasn’t eating the pizza. The camera wasn’t hurtling through space. The party wasn’t dancing and carousing, and hard work isn’t making money.

Maybe you’re thinking, So what? I didn’t think the phone was eating the pizza. I understood what the writer was saying.

Maybe so. But you do not want to invite you reader to say, “Huh? What’s going on here?” And that’s precisely what misplaced modifiers do—they cause the reader to pause, even if only for a millisecond, and during that pause, the idea surfaces that the writer, just maybe, has no idea what he or she is talking about. Not good.

Also, the sentences are short, clear examples of the misplaced modifiers. When your sentence gets long and complicated, the danger of misplaced modifiers grows and becomes more insidious, because when things get complicated, readers don’t only pause, they also get genuinely confused. And then they will be disgusted with you, the writer. Again, not good.

The Rule

Put modifying phrases next to their subjects.

Embarrassing Moments In The Land Of Misplaced Modifiers

An ad for Natural Ultra Plus pads:

So incredibly thin, you’ll never know it’s there!

See the misplaced modifier? What follows the comma should be what is so incredibly thin —but the pad is incredibly thin, not you. But copywriters are anything but stupid. This may be a perfect example of an intentional misplaced modifier, giving the subtle impression that you are incredibly thin. The ad compliments as it advertises.

An ad for Pacific bathing suits:

We can fit you in a swimsuit that fits and flatters—right over the phone!

That must be some bathing suit, if you look good in it over the phone. They mean that they can fit you right over the phone, not that the suit flatters over the phone.

One more, an ad for a motorcycle company:

While pleasing to your eye, the air passing over and around the body hardly notices it.

We hope the visuals that went with this text were dazzling because let’s face it, that sentence is hopeless. The air isn’t pleasing to your eye, and while we’re at it, what does the it stand for anyway? The body? The air? We give up.

Quick Quiz #29

Misplaced Modifiers

Pick the best answer.

1. Although nearly completed, the analysts stopped working on the report to have dinner.

A) Although nearly completed

B) Although they were nearly completed

C) In spite of being nearly completed

D) Although it was nearly completed

E) Nearing completion

2. Added to the raise and a company car, Bob demanded a four-day work week.

A) Added to the raise and a company car

B) In addition to the raise and a company car

C) In adding to the raise and a company car

D) Not only a raise and a company car

E) In addition to the raise and wanting a company car

3. Mowing the many-acred lawn, the skies began to darken and Bob went inside.

A) the skies began to darken and Bob went inside

B) the skies began to darken, so Bob went inside

C) Bob went inside, being as the skies began to darken

D) Bob, the skies darkening, went inside

E) Bob saw the skies begin to darken and went inside.

4. Depressed and sorrowfully inadequate, the job seems to be too much for Bob.

A) Depressed and sorrowfully inadequate

B) Feeling depressed and sorrowfully inadequate

C) Since he was depressed and sorrowfully inadequate

D) Being that he was depressed and sorrowfully inadequate

E) Being depressed and sorrowfully inadequate

5. After stocking up on potato chips, ice cream, videos, and cheap wine, lying all day on the sofa seemed preferable to showing up at the office.

A) lying all day on the sofa seemed preferable to

B) laying on the sofa all day seemed preferable to

C) Bob preferred lying all day on the sofa to

D) Bob was preferring lying on the sofa all day over

E) lying all day on the sofa was preferable to