Word Power Made Easy - Norman Lewis 2014

5 How to talk about various practitioners (Sessions 7-10)
Part one. Getting off to a good start

Teaser preview

What practitioners

✵ is a student of human behavior?

✵ follows the techniques devised by Sigmund Freud? -

✵ straightens teeth?

✵ measures vision?

✵ grinds lenses?

✵ treats minor ailments of the feet?

✵ analyzes handwriting?

✵ deals with the problems of aging?

✵ uses manipulation and massage as curative techniques?

Session 7

An ancient Greek mused about the meaning of life, and philosophy was bom. The first Roman decided to build a road instead of cutting a path through the jungle, and engineering came into existence. One day in primitive times, a human being lent to another whatever then passed for money and got back his original investment plus a little more—and banking had started.

Most people spend part of every workday at some gainful employment, honest or otherwise, and in so doing often contribute their little mite to the progress of the world.

We explore in this chapter the ideas behind people’s occupations—and the words that translate these ideas into verbal symbols.

Ideas

1. behavior

By education and training, this practitioner is an expert in the dark mysteries of human behavior—what makes people act as they do, why they have certain feelings, how their personalities were formed—in short, what makes them tick. Such a professional, is often employed by industries, schools, and institutions to devise means for keeping workers productive and happy, students well- adjusted, and inmates contented. With a state license, this person may also do private or group therapy.

A psychologist

2. worries, fears, conflicts

This practitioner is - a physician, psychiatrist, or psychologist who has been specially trained in the techniques devised by Sigmund Freud, encouraging you to delve into that part of your mind called “the unconscious.” By reviewing the experiences, traumas, feelings, and thoughts of your earlier years, you come to a better understanding of your present worries, fears, conflicts, repressions, insecurities, and nervous tensions—thus taking the first step in coping with them. Treatment, consisting largely in listening to, and helping you to interpret the meaning of, your free-flowing ideas, is usually given in frequent sessions that may well go on for a year or more.

A psychoanalyst

3. teeth

This practitioner is a dentist who has taken postgraduate work in the straightening of teeth.

An orthodontist

4. eyes

This practitioner measures your vision and prescribes the type of glasses that will give you a new and more accurate view of the world.

An optometrist

5. glasses

This practitioner grinds lenses according to the specifications prescribed by your optometrist or ophthalmologist, and may also deal in other kinds of optical goods.

An optician

6. bones and blood vessels

This practitioner is a member of the profession that originated in 1874, when Andrew T. Still devised a drugless technique of curing diseases by massage and other manipulative procedures, a technique based on the theory that illness may be caused by the undue pressure of displaced bones on nerves and blood vessels.

Training is equal to that of physicians, and in most states these practitioners may also use the same methods as, and have the full rights and privileges of, medical doctors.

An osteopath

7. joints and articulations

The basic principle of this practitioner’s work is the maintenance of the structural and functional integrity of the nervous system. Treatment consists of manipulating most of the articulations of the body, especially those connected to the spinal column. Licensed and legally recognized in forty-five states, this professional has pursued academic studies and training that parallel those of the major healing professions.

A chiropractor

8. feet

This practitioner treats minor foot ailments—coms, calluses, bunions, fallen arches, etc., and may perform minor surgery.

A podiatrist

9. writing

This practitioner analyzes handwriting to determine character, personality, or aptitudes, and is often called upon to verify the authenticity of signatures, written documents, etc.

A graphologist

10. getting old

This social scientist deals with the financial, economic, sexual, social, retirement, and other non-medical problems of the elderly.

A gerontologist

Using the words

Can you pronounce the words?

Can you work with the words?

Practitioners

1. psychologist

2. psychoanalyst

3. orthodontist

4. optometrist

5. optician

6. osteopath

7. chiropractor

8. podiatrist

9. graphologist

10. gerontologist

Interests

a. vision

b. “the unconscious”

c. bones and blood vessels

d. lenses and optical instruments

e. feet

f. teeth

g. problems of aging

h. joints of the spine

i. handwriting

j. behavior

Key: 1—j, 2-b, 3-f, 4-a, 5-d, 6-c, 7-h, 8-e, 9-i, 10-g

Do you understand the words?

Key: 1-F, 2-T, 3-T, 4-T, 5-F, 6-T, 7-F, 8-F, 9-T, 10-F

Can you recall the words?

1. delves into the unconscious

2. uses either massage and manipulation or other standard medical procedures to treat illness

3. takes care of minor ailments of the feet

4. straightens teeth

5. analyzes handwriting

6. grinds lenses and sells optical goods

7. deals with the non-medical problems of aging

8. manipulates articulations connected to the spinal column

9. studies and explains human behavior

10. measures vision and prescribes glasses

1. P ...

2. О ...

3. P ...

4. О ...

5. G ...

6. О ...

7. G ...

8. C ...

9. P ...

10. О ...

Key: 1-psychoanalyst, 2-osteopath, 3-podiatrist, 4-orthodontist, 5-graphologist, 6-optician, 7-gerontologist, 8-chiroprac- tor, 9-psychologist, 10-optometrist

(End. of Session 7)

SESSION 8 Origins and related words

1. the mental life

Psychologist is built upon the same Greek root as psychiatrist—psyche, spirit, soul, or mind. In psychiatrist, the combining form is iatreia, medical healing. In psychologist, the combining form is logos, science or study; a psychologist, by etymology, is one who studies the mind.

The field is psychology the adjective psycho logical

Psyche is also an English word in its own right—it designates the mental life, the spiritual or non-physical aspect of one’s existence. The adjective psychic refers to phenomena or qualities that cannot be explained in purely physical terms. People may be called psychic if they seem to possess a sixth sense, a special gift of mind reading, or any mysterious aptitudes that cannot be accounted for logically. A person’s disturbance is psychic if it is emotional or mental, rather than physical.

Psyche combines with the Greek pathos, suffering or disease, to form psychopathic an adjective that describes someone suffering from a severe mental or emotional disorder. The noun is psychopathy

The root psyche combines with Greek soma, body, to form psychosomatican adjective that delineates the powerful influence that the mind, especially the unconscious, has on bodily diseases. Thus, a person who fears the consequence of being present at a certain meeting will suddenly develop a bad cold or backache, or even be injured in a traffic accident, so that his appearance at this meeting is made impossible. It’s a real cold, it’s far from ah imaginary backache, and of course one cannot in any sense doubt the reality of the automobile that injured him. Yet, according to the psychosomatic theory of medicine, his unconscious made him susceptible to the cold germs, caused the backache, or forced him into the path of the car.

A psychosomatic disorder actually exists insofar as symptoms are concerned (headache, excessive urination, pains, paralysis, heart palpitations), yet there is no organic cause within the body. The cause is within the psyche, the mind. Dr. Flanders Dunbar, in Mind and Body, gives a clear and exciting account of the interrelationship between emotions and diseases.

Psychoanalysis relies on the technique of deeply, exhaustively probing into the unconscious, a technique developed by Sigmund Freud. In oversimplified terms, the general principle of psychoanalysis is to guide the patient to an awareness of the deep-seated, unconscious causes of anxieties, fears, conflicts, and tension. Once found, exposed to the light of day, and thoroughly understood, claim the psychoanalysts, these causes may vanish like a light snow that is exposed to strong sunlight. Consider an example: You have asthma, let us say, and your doctor can find no physical basis for your ailment. So you are referred to a psychoanalyst (or psychiatrist or clinical psychologist who practices psychoanalytically oriented therapy).

* Psychopathy is usually characterizedby antisocial and extremely egocentric behavior. A psychopath sometimes called a psychopathic personality, appears to be lacking an inner moral censor, and often commits criminal acts, without anxiety or guilt, in order to obtain immediate gratification of desires. Such a person may be utterly lacking in sexual restraint, or addicted to bard drugs. Some psychologists prefer the label sociopath for this type of personality to indicate the absence of a social conscience.

With your therapist you explore your past life, dig into your unconscious, and discover, let us say for the sake of argument, that your mother or father always used to set for you impossibly high goals. No matter what you accomplished in school, it was not good enough—in your mother’s or father’s opinion (and such opinions were always made painfully clear to you), you could do better if you were not so lazy. As a child you built up certain resentments and anxieties because you seemed unable to please your parent—and (this will sound farfetched, but it is perfectly possible) as a result you became asthmatic. How else were you going to get the parental love, the approbation, the attention you needed and that you felt you were not receiving?

In your sessions with your therapist, you discover that your asthma is emotionally, rather than organically, based—your ailment is psychogenic of psychic origin, or (the terms are used more or less interchangeably although they differ somewhat in definition) psychosomatic, resulting from the interaction of mind and body. (Psychogenic is built on psyche plus Greek genesis, birth or origin.)

And your treatment? No drugs, no surgery—these may help the body, not the emotions. Instead, you “work out” (this is the term used in psychoanalytic parlance) early trauma in talk, in remembering, in exploring, in interpreting, in reliving childhood experiences. And if your asthma is indeed psychogenic (or psychosomatic), therapy will very likely help you; your attacks may cease, either gradually or suddenly.

Freudian therapy is less popular today than formerly; many newer therapies—Gestalt, bioenergetics, transactional analysis, to name only a few—claim to produce quicker results.

In any case, psychotherapy of one sort or another is the indicated treatment for psychogenic (or psychosomatic) disorders, or for any personality disturbances. The practitioner is a psychotherapist or therapist, for short; the adjective is psychotherapeutic

Review of etymology

Using the words

Can you pronounce the words?

Can you work with the words?

1. psychology

2. psyche

3. psychic

4. psychopathy

5. psychosomatic

6. psychoanalysis

7. psychogenic

8. psychotherapy

9. psychopath

a. mental or emotional disturbance

b. psychological treatment based on Freudian techniques

c. general term for psychological treatment

d. originating in the mind or emotions

e. one’s inner or mental life, or self-image

f. study of the human mind and behavior

g. describing the interaction of mind and body

h. pertaining to the mind; extrasensory

i. person lacking in social conscience or inner censor

Key: 1-f, 2-e, 3-h, 4-a, 5-g, 6-b, 7-d, 8-c, 9-i

Do you understand the words?

Key: 1-F, 2-F, 3-F, 4-F, 5-F, 6-T, 7-F, 8-T, 9-T

Can you recall the words?

1. one’s inner or mental life, or self-image

2. the adjective that denotes the interactions, especially in illness, between mind and body

3. mentally or emotionally disturbed

4. study of behavior

5. extrasensory

6. treatment by Freudian techniques

7. pertaining to the study of behavior (adj.)

8. of mental or emotional origin

9. general term for treatment of emotional disorders

10. antisocial person

1. P ...

2. P ...

3. P ...

4. P ...

5. P ...

6. P ...

7. P ...

8. P ...

9. P ...

10. P ...

Key: 1-psyche, 2-psychosomatic, 3-psychopathic, 4-psychology, 5-psychic, б-psychoanalysis, 7-psychological, 8-psychogenic, 9-psychotherapy, 10-psychopath

(End of Session 8)

Session 9 Origins and related words

1. the whole tooth

Orthodontist, as we discovered in Chapter 4, is built on orthos, straight, correct, plus odontos, tooth.

A pedodontist specializes in the care of children’s teeth—the title is constructed from paidos, child, plus odontos. The specialty: pedodontia the adjective: pedodontics

A periodontist is a gum specialist—the term combines odontos with the prefix peri-, around, surrounding. (As a quick glance in the mirror will tell you, the gums surround the teeth, more or less.)

Can you figure out the word for the specialty? ...

For the adjective? ...

An endodontistspecializes in work on the pulp of the tooth and in root-canal therapy—the prefix in this term is endo-, from Greek endon, inner, within.

Try your hand again at constructing words. What is the specialty? ... . And the adjective? ...

The prefix ex-, out, combines with odontos to form exodontist What do you suppose, therefore, is the work in which this practitioner specializes? ... .

And the term for the specialty? ...

For the adjective? ...

2. measurement

The optometrist, by etymology, measures vision—the term is built on opsis, optikos, view, vision, plus metron, measurement.

Metron is the root in manyother words:

1. thermometer —an instrument to measure heat (Greek therme, heat).

2. barometer —an instrument to measure atmospheric pressure (Greek baros, weight); the adjective is barometric

3. sphygmomanometer —a device for measuring blood pressure (Greek sphygmos, pulse).

4. metric system—a decimal system of weights and measures, long used in other countries and now gradually being adopted in the United States.

3. bones, feet, and hands

Osteopath combines Greek osteon, bone, with pathos, suffering, disease. Osteopathy you will recall, was

originally based on the theory that disease is caused by pressure of the bones on blood vessels and nerves. An osteopathic physician is not a bone specialist, despite the misleading etymology—and should not be confused with the orthopedist, who is.

The podiatrist (Greek pous, podos, foot, plus iatreia, medical healing) practices podiatryThe adjective is podiatric

The root pous, podos is found also in:

1. octopus the eight-armed (or, as the etymology has it, eight-footed) sea creature (Greek okto, eight).

2. platypus the strange water mammal with a duck’s bill, webbed feet, and a beaver-like tail that reproduces by laying eggs (Greek platys, broad, flat—hence, by etymology, a flatfoot!).

3. podium a speaker’s platform, etymologically a place for the feet. (The suffix -ium often signifies “place where,” as in gymnasium, stadium, auditorium, etc.)

4. tripod (TRI'-pod), a three-legged (or “footed”) stand for a camera or other device (tri-, three).

5. chiropodist earlier title for apodiatrist, and still often used. The specialty is chiropody

Chiropody combines podos with Greek cheir, hand, spelled chiro- in English words. The term was coined in the days before labor-saving machinery and push-button devices, when people worked with their hands and developed calluses on their upper extremities as well as on their feet. Today most of us earn a livelihood in more sedentary occupations, and so we may develop calluses on less visible portions of our anatomy.

Chiropractors heal with their hands—the specialty is chiropractice

Cheir (chiro-), hand, is the root in chirography Recalling the graph- in graphologist, can you figure out by etymology what chirography is? ...

An expert in writing by hand, or in penmanship (a lost art in these days of electronic word-processing)! would be a, chirographer the adjective is chirographic

If the suffix -money comes from a Greek word meaning foretelling or prediction, can you decide what chiromancy must be? ... The person who practices chiromancy is a chiromancer the adjective is chiromantic

Review of etymology

Using the words

Can you pronounce the words? (I)

Can you pronounce the words? (II)

Can you work with the words? (I)

1. orthodontia

2. pedodontia

3. periodontia

4. endodontia

5. exodontia

6. barometer

7. sphygmomanometer

8. osteopathy

9. podiatry

10. thermometer

a. dental specialty involving the pulp and root canal

b. instrument that measures atmospheric pressure

c. specialty arising from the theory that pressure of the bones on nerves and blood vessels may cause disease

d. specialty of child dentistry

e. blood-pressure apparatus

f. treatment of minor ailments of the foot

g. instrument to measure heat

h. specialty of tooth extraction

i. specialty of tooth straightening

j. specialty of the gums

Key: 1-i, 2-d, 3-j, 4-a, 5-h, 6-b, 7-e, 8-c, 9-f, 10-g

Can you work with the words? (II)

1. octopus

2. platypus

3. podium

4. chiropody

5. chiropractic

6. chirography

7. chiromancy

a. speaker’s platform

b. maintenance of integrity of the nervous system by manipulation and massage

c. palm reading

d. eight-armed sea creature

e. handwriting

f. treatment of minor ailments of the foot

g. egg-laying mammal with webbed feet

Key: 1-d, 2-g, 3-a, 4-f, 5-b, 6-e, 7-c

Do you understand the words?

Key: 1-T, 2-T, 3-Т, 4-F, 5-Т, 6-Т, 7-F, 8-Т, 9-Т, 10-Т, 11-F, 12-Т, 13-F, 14-F, 15-Т, 16-Т

Do you recall the words? (I)

1. pertaining to child dentistry (adj.)

2. pertaining to treatment of the foot (adj.)

3. blood-pressure apparatus

4. three-legged stand

5. pertaining to the treatment of diseases by manipulation to relieve pressure of the bones on nerves and blood vessels (adj.)

6. pertaining to handwriting (adj.)

7. gum specialist

8. treatment of ailments of the foot

9. stand for a speaker

10. dentist specializing in treating the pulp of the tooth or in doing root-canal therapy

1. P ...

2. P ...

3. S ...

4. T ...

5. О ...

6. C ...

7. P ...

8. P ... or C ...

9. P ...

10. E ...

Key: 1-pcdodontic, 2-podiatric, 3-sphygmomanometer, 4-tri- pod, 5-osteopathic, 6-chirographic, 7-periodontist, 8-podiatry or chiropody, 9-podium, 10-endodontist

Can you recall the words? (II)

1. pertaining to the specialty of tooth extraction (adj.)

2. pertaining to the measurement of atmospheric pressure (adj.)

3. palm reading (noun)

4. handwriting

5. the practice of manipulating bodily articulations to relieve ailments

6. egg-laying mammal

7. eight-armed sea creature

8. instrument to measure heat

1. E ...

2. В ...

3. C ...

4. C ...

5. C ...

6. P ...

7. О ...

8. T ...

Key: 1-exodontic, 2-baromctric, 3-chiromancy, 4-chirography, 5-chiropractic, 6-pIatypus, 7-octopus, 8-thermometer

(End of Session 9)

Session 10 Origins and related words

1. writing and writers

The Greek verb graphein, to write, is the source of a great many English words.

We know that the graphologist analyzes handwriting, the term combining graphein with logos, science, study. The specialty is graphology the adjective graphological

Chirographer is built on graphein plus cheir (chiro-), hand.

Though chirography may be a lost art, calligraphy is enjoying a revival. For centuries before the advent of printing, calligraphy, or penmanship as an artistic expression, was practiced by monks.

A calligrapher is called upon to design and write announcements, place cards, etc., as a touch of elegance. The adjective is calligraphic

Calligraphy combines graphein with Greek beauty, and so, by etymology, means beautiful writing.

If a word exists for artistic handwriting, there must be one for the opposite—bad, scrawly, or illegible handwriting. And indeed there is—cacography combining graphein with Greek kakos, bad, harsh.

By analogy with the forms of calligraphy, can you write the word for:

One who uses bad or illegible handwriting?

Pertaining to, or marked by, bad handwriting (adjective)?

Graphein is found in other English words:

1. cardiograph (discussed in Chapter 4)—etymologically a “heart writer” (kardia, heart).

2. photograph—etymologically, “written by light” (Greek photos, light).

3. phonograph—etymologically, a “sound writer” (Greek phone, sound).

4. telegraph—etymologically a “distance writer” (Greek tele-, distance).

5. biography—etymologically “life writing” (Greek, bios, life).

(Many of these new roots will be discussed in greater detail in later chapters.)

2. aging and the old

We know that a geriatrician specializes in the medical care of the elderly. The Greek word geras, old age, has a derived form, geron, old man, the root in gerontologist. The specialty is gerontologythe adjective is gerontological

An entrancing word that also derives from kallos is callipygian an adjective describing a shapely or attractive rear end, or a person so endowed—the combining root is pyge, buttocks.

The Latin word for old is senex, the base on which senile, senescent, senior, and senate are built.

1. senile —showing signs of the physical and/or mental deterioration that generally marks very old age. The noun is senility

2. senescent —aging, growing old. (Note the same suffix in this word as in adolescent, growing into an adult, convalescent, growing healthy again, and obsolescent, growing or becoming obsolete.) The noun is senescence

3. senior —older. Noun: seniority

4. senate — originally a council of older, and presum ably wiser, citizens.

Review of etymology

Using the words

Can you pronounce the words?

Can you work with the words?

1. graphology

2. calligraphy

3. callipygian

4. cacography

5. gerontology

6. senility

7. senescence

a. possessed of beautiful buttocks

b. science of the social, economic, etc. problems of the aged

c. condition of aging or growing old

d. deteriorated old age

e. analysis of handwriting

f. ugly, bad, illegible handwriting

g. beautiful handwriting; handwriting as an artistic expression

Key: 1-e, 2-g, 3-a, 4-f, 5-b, 6-d, 7-c

Do you understand the words?

Key: 1-F, 2-T, 3-T, 4-F, 5-T, 6-F, 7-T

Can you recall the words?

1. pertaining to the study of the non-medical problems of the aged (adj.)

2. growing old (adj.)

3. pertaining to handwriting as an artistic expression (adj.)

4. one who uses ugly, illegible handwriting

5. mentally and physically deteriorated from old age

6. pertaining to the analysis of handwriting (adj.)

7. possessed of beautiful or shapely buttocks

1. G ...

2. S ...

3. C ...

4. C ...

5. S ...

6. G ...

7. C ...

Key: l-gerontological, 2-senescent, 3-calligraphic, 4-cacogra- pher, 5-senile, б-graphological, 7-callipygian

Chapter review

A. Do you recognize the words?

1. Practitioner trained in Freudian techniques: (a) psychologist, (b) psychoanalyst, (c) psychotherapist

2. Foot doctor: (a) podiatrist, (b) osteopath, (c) chiropractor

3. Handwriting analyst: (a) graphologist, (b) chirographer, (c) cacographer

4. Mentally or emotionally disturbed: (a) psychological, (b) psychopathic, (c) psychic

5. Originating in the emotions: (a) psychic, (b) psychogenic, (c) psychoanalytic

6. Describing bodily ailments tied up with the emotions: (a) psychosomatic, (b) psychopathic, (c) psychiatric

7. Gum specialist: (a) periodontist, (b) pedodontist, (c) endodontist

8. Specialist in tooth extraction: (a) orthodontist, (b) exodontist, (c) endodontist

9. Blood-pressure apparatus: (a) barometer, (b) thermometer, (c) sphygmomanometer

10. Prediction by palm reading: (a) chirography, (b) chiropody, (c) chiromancy

11. Possessed of a shapely posterior: (a) calligraphic, (b) callipygian, (c) adolescent

12. Artistic handwriting: (a) calligraphy, (b) chirography, (c) graphology

13. Growing old: (a) senile, (b) geriatric, (c) senescent

14. Medical specialty dealing with the aged: (a) gerontology, (b) geriatrics, (c) chiropractic

15. Antisocial person who may commit criminal acts: (a) psychopath, (b) sociopath, (c) osteopath

Key: 1-b, 2-a, 3-a, 4-b, 5-b, 6-a, 7-a, 8-b, 9-c, 10-c, 11-b, 12-a, 13-c, 14—b, 15-a and b

B. Can you recognize roots?

Key: 1-mind, 2-medical healing, 3-body, 4-disease, 5-straight, correct, 6-child, 7-tooth, 8-foot, 9-hand, 10-eight, 11-to write, 12-beauty, 13-buttocks, 14-bad, ugly, 15-light, 16-distance, 17-life, 18-old age, 19-old man, 20-old.

Teaser questions for the amateur etymologist

1. Latin octoginta is a root related to Greek okto, eight. How old is an octogenarian ...

2. You are familiar with kakos, bad, harsh, as in cacography, and with phone, sound, as in phonograph. Can you construct a word ending in the letter у that means harsh, unpleasant sound? ... (Can you pronounce it?)

3. Using callipygian as a model, can you construct a word to describe an ugly, unshapely rear end? ... (Can you pronounce it?)

4. Using the prefix tele-, distance, can you think of the word for a field glass that permits the viewer to see great distances? ... . How about a word for the instrument that transmits sound over a distance? ... Finally, what is it that makes it possible for you to view happenings that occur a great distance away? ...

(Answers in Chapter 18)

Becoming word-conscious

Perhaps, if you have been working as assiduously with this book as I have repeatedly counseled, you have noticed an interesting phenomenon.

This phenomenon is as follows: You read a magazine article and suddenly you see one or more of the words you have recently learned. Or you open a book and there again are some of the words you have been working with. In short, all your reading seems to call to your attention the very words you’ve been studying.

Why? Have I, with uncanny foresight, picked words which have suddenly and inexplicably become popular among writers? Obviously, that’s nonsense.

The change is in you. You have now begun to be alert to words, you have developed what is known in psychology as a “mind-set” toward certain words. Therefore, whenever these words occur in your reading you take special notice of them.

The same words occurred before—and just as plentifully—but since they presented little communication to you, you reacted to them with an unseeing eye, with an ungrasping mind. You were figuratively, and almost literally, blind to them.

Do you remember when you bought, or contemplated buying, a new car? Let’s say it was a Toyota. Suddenly you began to see Toyotas all around you—you had a Toyota “mind-set”

It is thus with anything new in your life. Development of a “mind-set” means that the new experience has become very real, very important, almost vital.

If you have become suddenly alert to the new words you have been learning, you’re well along toward your goal of building a superior vocabulary. You are beginning to live in a new and different intellectual atmosphere—nothing less!

On the other hand, if the phenomenon I have been describing has not yet occurred, do not despair. It will. I am alerting you to its possibilities—recognize it and welcome it when it happens.

(End of Session 10)

Brief Intermission Three

How grammar changes

If you think that grammar is an exact science, get ready for a shock. Grammar is a science, all right—but it is most inexact. There are no inflexible laws, no absolutely hard and fast rules, no unchanging principles. Correctness varies with the times and depends much more on geography, on social class, and on collective human caprice than on the restrictions found in textbooks.

In mathematics, which is an exact science, five and five make ten the country over—in the North, in the South, in the West; in Los Angeles and Coral Gables and New York. There are no two opinions on the matter—we are dealing, so far as we know, with a universal and indisputable fact.

In grammar, however, since the facts are highly susceptible to change, we have to keep an eye peeled for trends. What are educated people saying these days? Which expressions are generally used and accepted on educated levels, which others are more or less restricted to the less educated levels of speech? The answers to these questions indicate the trend of usage in the United States, and if such trends come in conflict with academic rules, then the rules are no longer of any great importance.

Grammar follows the speech habits of the majority of educated people—not the other way around. That is the important point to keep in mind.

The following notes on current trends in modem usage are intended to help you come to a decision about certain controversial expressions. As you read each sentence, pay particular attention to the italicized word or words. Does the usage square with your own language patterns? Would you be willing to phrase your thoughts in just such terms? Decide whether the sentence is right or wrong, then compare your conclusion with the opinions given following the test.

Test yourself

1. Let’s keep this between you and I.

Wrong. Children are so frequently corrected by parents and teachers when they say me that they cannot be blamed if they begin to think that this simple syllable is probably a naughty word. Dialogues such as the following are certainly typical of many households.

“Mother, can me and Johnnie go out and play?”

“No, dear, not until you say it correctly. You mean ’May Johnnie and I go out to play?’”

“Who wants a jelly apple?”

“Me!”

“Then use the proper word.”

(The child becomes a little confused at this point—there seem to be so many “proper” and “improper” words.)

“Me, please!"

“No, dear, not me.”

“Oh. I, please?”

(This sounds terrible to a child’s ear. It completely violates his sense of language, but he does want the jelly apple, so he grudgingly conforms.)

“Who broke my best vase?”

“It wasn’t me!”

“Is that good English, Johnnie?”

“Okay, it wasn’t I. But honest, Mom, it wasn’t me—I didn’t even touch it!”

And so, if the child is strong enough to survive such constant corrections, he decides that whenever there is room for doubt, it is safer to say I.

Some adults, conditioned in childhood by the kind of misguided censorship detailed here, are likely to believe that “between you and I” is the more elegant form of expression, but most educated speakers, obeying the rule that a preposition governs the objective pronoun, say “between you and me.”

2. I’m your best friend, ain’t I?

Wrong. As linguistic scholars have frequently pointed out, it is unfortunate that ain’t I? is unpopular in educated speech, for the phrase fills a long-felt need. Am I not? is too prissy for down-to- earth people; amn’t I? is ridiculous; and aren’t I, though popular in England, has never really caught on in America. With a sentence like the one under discussion you are practically in a linguistic trap—there is no way out unless you are willing to choose between appearing illiterate, sounding prissy, or feeling ridiculous.

“What is the matter with ain’t I? for am I not?” language scholar Wallace Rice once wrote. “Nothing whatever, save that a number of minor grammarians object to it. Ain’t I? has a pleasant sound once the ears are unstopped of prejudice.” Mr. Rice has a valid point there, yet educated people avoid ain’t I? as if it were catching. In all honesty, therefore, I must say to you: don’t use ain’t I?, except humorously. What is a safe substitute? Apparently ' none exists, so I suggest that you manage, by some linguistic calisthenics, to avoid having to make a choice. Otherwise you may find yourself in the position of being damned if you do and damned if you don’t.

3. Five and five is ten.

Right. But don’t jump to the conclusion that “five and five are ten” is wrong—both verbs are equally acceptable in this or any similar construction. If you prefer to think of “five-and-five” as a single mathematical concept, say is. If you find it more reasonable to consider “five and five” a plural idea, say are. The teachers I’ve polled on this point are about evenly divided in preference, and so, I imagine, are the rest of us. Use whichever verb has the greater appeal to your sense of logic.

4. I never saw a man get so mad.

Right. When I questioned a number of authors and editors about their opinion of the acceptability of mad as a synonym for angry, the typical reaction was: “Yes, I say mad, but I always feel a little guilty when I do.”

Most people do say mad when they are sure there is no English teacher listening; it’s a good sharp word, everybody understands exactly what it means, and it’s a lot stronger than angry, though not quite as violent as furious or enraged. In short, mad has a special implication offered by no other word in the English language; as a consequence, educated people use it as the occasion demands and it is perfectly correct. So correct, in fact, that every authoritative dictionary lists it as a completely acceptable usage. If you feel guilty when you say mad, even though you don’t mean insane, it’s time you stopped plaguing your conscience with trivialities.

5. Every one of his sisters are unmarried.

Wrong. Are is perhaps the more logical word, since the sentence implies that he has more than one sister and they are all unmarried. In educated speech, however, the tendency is to make the verb agree with the subject, even if logic is violated in the process—and the better choice here would be is, agreeing with the singular subject, every one.

6. He visited an optometrist for an eye operation.

Wrong. If the gentleman in question did indeed need an operation, he went to the wrong doctor. In most states, optometrists are forbidden by law to perform surgery or administer drugs—they may only prescribe and fit glasses. And they are not medical doctors. The M.D. who specializes in the treatment of eye diseases, and who may operate when necessary, is an ophthalmologist. (See Chapter 4.)

7. Do you prophecy another world war?

wrong. Use prophecy only when you mean prediction, a noun. When you mean predict, a verb, as in this sentence, use prophesy. This distinction is simple and foolproof. Therefore we properly say: “His prophecy (prediction) turned out to be true,” but “He really seems able to prophesy (predict) political trends.” There is a distinction also in the pronunciation of these two words. Prophecy is pronounced prophesy is pronounced

8. Leave us not mention it.

wrong. On the less sophisticated levels of American speech, leave is a popular substitute for let. On educated levels, the following distinction is carefully observed: let means allow; leave means depart. (There are a few idiomatic exceptions to this rule, but they present no problem.) “Let me go” is preferable to “Leave me go” even on the most informal of occasions, and a sentence like “Leave us not mention it” is not considered standard English.

9. If you expect to eventually succeed, you must keep trying.

Right. We have here, in case you’re puzzled, an example of that notorious bugbear of academic grammar, the “split infinitive.” (An infinitive is a verb preceded by to: to succeed, to fail, to remember.)

Splitting an infinitive is not at all difficult—you need only insert a word between the to and the verb: to eventually succeed, to completely fail, to quickly remember.

Now that you know how to split an infinitive, the important question is, is it legal to do so? I am happy to be able to report to you that it is not only legal, it is also ethical, moral, and sometimes more effective than to not split it. Benjamin Franklin, Washington Irving, Nathaniel Hawthorne, Theodore Roosevelt, and Woodrow Wilson, among many others, were unconscionable infinitive splitters. And modem writers are equally partial to the construction.

To bring this report up to the minute, I asked a number of editors about their attitude toward the split infinitive. Here are two typical reactions.

An editor at Doubleday and Company: “The restriction against the split infinitive is, to my mind, the most artificial of all grammatical rules. I find that most educated people split infinitives regularly in their speech, and only eliminate them from their writing when they rewrite and polish their material.”

An editor at Reader’s Digest: “I want to defend the split infinitive. The construction adds to the strength of the sentence—it’s compact and clear. This is to loudly say that I split an infinitive whenever I can catch one.”

And here, finally, is the opinion of humorist James Thurber, as quoted by Rudolf Flesch in The Art of Plain Talk, : “Word has somehow got around that the split infinitive is always wrong. This is of a piece with the outworn notion that it is always wrong to strike a lady.”

I think the evidence is conclusive enough—it is perfectly correct to consciously split an infinitive whenever such an act increases the strength or clarity of your sentence.