The write start - Jennifer Hallissy 2010

Writing Rituals
Make Yourself Write at Home

Many families have embraced the idea of reading to their children every day. Babies are read to before they have even begun to babble (some even while in the womb!). Preschoolers can listen to you read the repetitious rhymes and rhythms of colorful picture books for what seems like forever. Early readers follow along when captivating books are read to them, although they can’t yet decipher all the words on their own.

We even ritualize reading by establishing certain times of the day and places in our home for reading. Bedtime stories fit snugly into the nighttime routine. Reading nooks are nestled into the corners of our houses. Books, often found in abundance, are proudly displayed on shelves and coffee tables. In many homes reading is learned in the lap. And children grow to appreciate it as a vital part of daily life.

But what about writing? What are the rituals that weave writing into the fabric of our families?

Like reading, writing should be tucked into the corners of every single day. Making writing a small part of the daily routine helps to create good writing habits. The simple act of putting pencil to paper with your child each day, no matter the reason, can make a big impact.

Think back to your own childhood, and try to remember what writing rituals went on in your home while you were growing up. In my home I remember there were letters to (and from) both Santa and the Tooth Fairy. I remember my mom putting signs on my bedroom door for special occasions, such as a big lightbulb-shaped poster that said, “You light up my life.” I remember being my great-aunt Marion’s “pen pal,” writing thank-you notes to my father’s business associate every time he gave us hockey tickets, getting love notes in my lunch bag, and exchanging messages with my family members each evening via a steamy shower door.

And how could I forget my little sister’s sweet habit of sliding earnest notes of apology under my door every time I got angry at her for messing around with my stuff? It was quite endearing. (That is, until I found out she was writing all those notes with my lip liner. Ahem.)

Many families have little traditions that involve writing. Some parents write letters to their children each year on their birthday. Some keep scrapbooks or journals, full of milestones and memories. Others plan ahead, writing notes to their kids to be opened, one each day, when a parent is away on a trip. If you remember any rituals like these from your childhood that you want to continue with your kids, then definitely do your best to keep the tradition alive. If nothing like this rings a bell, then consider this your opportunity to invent a new “write” of passage in your home. Or do what I do, and strike a balance that feels right by combining a little of the old stuff with some new just-for-you rituals.

Sometimes a new writing ritual comes to you, out of the blue, inspired by current family events. For example, when my son was particularly discouraged over a perceived failure, I sat down and wrote a “Jack is . . .” list, itemizing all the qualities that make him especially lovable, capable, and successful. I read it to him, and then posted it in his room. As the days and weeks passed, I added more items to the list. And when he was able to identify a specific admirable quality of his own, he might suggest to me, “You should add that to ’the list’!” I often hear him reading the list to himself, especially when he goes to his room for some “thinking time” after a frustration or indiscretion. This is a small ritual that is a big reminder to us to label and record good, empowering feelings in writing, so they can be easily referred to when the going gets tough.

Simple yet sincere writing rituals can be slipped into your days with little extra effort. And just think, the rituals you pass on or invent today may become the traditions that your children will pass on to their own children tomorrow.

Here are some ideas for your own writing rituals:

writing birthday letters

creating a family newsletter to send out with holiday cards

keeping a journal

crafting a family memory book or scrapbook

writing notes to be opened each day a parent is away on a trip

putting a sign on a child’s door on a special day

making a certificate or award to commemorate an accomplishment

writing a “My kid is . . .” list