Technique 62: Emotional constancy - Building student motivation and trust

Teach like a champion 3.0: 63 techniques that put students on the path to college - Lemov Doug 2021

Technique 62: Emotional constancy
Building student motivation and trust

School is a sort of social laboratory for students; it is often the place where the greatest number of their interactions with broader society occur, and where, inevitably and fittingly, they experiment with decisions about the nature of their relationships with the people and institutions around them.

Even an experiment that ends perfectly contains some trial and error. A theory is developed (“Perhaps I don't need to do my homework every day”), tested, and evaluated (“OK, I think it is better when I do my homework”). Theory testing is one of the primary activities of youth, as I suspect your recollections of your own can attest—mine certainly do. In many ways we are evolved to use our adolescent years to test limits and theories.

What that means is that the environment should provide the necessary feedback on experiments—the goal is not to tell young people that skipping homework is OK—in an atmosphere that treats experimentation as an expected event. We want to help those experiments yield useful and productive lessons, but also to remember that the behaviors we see often are experiments and that students themselves may not consciously realize that they are experimenting.

If this is the case, then maintaining Emotional Constancy—lessening the intensity of strong emotion, especially frustration and disappointment—is a key part of our job.

Generally speaking, strong negative emotions by teachers only intensify emotions among students. A student behaves poorly and takes a bit of an attitude; the teacher bristles back; the student reacts to the rising emotion by talking back more strongly, and a small mistake becomes larger. Or a student makes a mistake and a teacher snaps angrily at him while giving a consequence; part of him thinks, Why is she yelling at me? Does she yell at me more than she yells at others? He has these thoughts instead of reflecting on the connection between his actions and the consequence. The teacher's emotions insert another variable into the equation and distract him from his own behavior.

Compare that to Hasan Clayton's interaction with Kevin. With studious calm Hasan asked Kevin to take responsibility, and explained why the experiment led to poor outcome. And then Kevin proposed a consequence. This is to say, Kevin heard everything Hasan said, in part because Hasan was not shouting it or reacting with shock. Kevin shouldn't have slept through class but it was not thoroughly unexpected that he tried.

One of the most important tools you can use to maintain emotional constancy is to Walk Slow, which I mean literally and figuratively. Teaching young people to slow down their decisions is a good way to help them make better decisions—with the cortex and not the amygdala. Even a fraction of a second can make a difference. It's the same for teachers. As you approach a situation that you yourself are emotional about, walk slowly—I mean this metaphorically—don't rush to react—but also quite literally, move slowly when you feel yourself getting upset. I once observed Bridget McElduff in a lesson where a student laughed at another student for struggling to read a series of challenging words correctly aloud. Bridget was angry. She loved her students and felt a strong desire in particular to defend a student from mockery, especially in her own classroom, especially when it was a result of her taking exactly the sort of risk that was necessary to learning. Bridget began walking briskly over to address the laughing student, who was on the other side of the room.

But Bridget was able to tell herself to take a route around the back of the room and as she did that, she slowed her pace. This gave her a few precious seconds to compose herself and choose her words carefully. By the time Bridget got to the young man she was able to calmly explain why his behavior was unacceptable and remind him that she knew he was better than that. The walk was key. She needed a moment to get over her momma-bear anger. All it took was three or four seconds, but it really made a difference. Suddenly she realized that he was conducting an experiment. She had to help him reject the hypothesis: laughing at a classmate was acceptable. But she also had to understand that testing is what young people do.

Fools rush in. Anytime you feel yourself having a negative emotional response, strive to “walk slow”—literally or figuratively. A fraction of a second is often enough.

Here are some additional tips for maintaining your Emotional Constancy:

· Criticize behaviors rather than people. “That behavior is inconsiderate” is a statement about a temporary situation. It's also a statement that, with a bit of tweaking, would allow you to show that you don't think that it's typical of a given student: “It's unlike you to behave this way. Please fix it immediately.” This is better than making a permanent statement about a student: “You are inconsiderate.” If your goal is trust, it can be a long way back from too many statements of that kind.

· Avoid globalizing. Saying “You always” do X or asking “Why are you always doing” Y makes the conversation about events that are no longer within a student's control—and that he or she may not even remember. This makes the issue seem bigger and less focused on a specific action, and can make your correction feel like a “gotcha.”

· Take your relationship out of it. Telling a student you feel disappointed or betrayed by his or her actions, or personalizing your response—for example, “I thought I could trust you”—makes the interaction about you rather than about a student learning productive and socially responsible behavior. Framing things impersonally diffuses emotion and keeps your role in the conversation to that of coach and mediator, helping the student to learn those behaviors that will benefit her most in the long run.