Complete guide to college application essays - The Princeton Review 2020

Sample of successful student essays

The following essays are some of the best that we’ve seen over the last ten years, and come in response to a variety of both prompts and word counts. Do not, under any circumstances, read these with the intent of copying the structure or, worse, the content.

Instead, read them to be inspired by how each student found a way to tell their truth. Delve into the sentences that you like and figure out what makes them work so that you can go back and give your own writing that same close scrutiny and make sure it’s living up to the standards of a successful student essay.

STUDENT 1

Prompt: Describe a place or environment where you are perfectly content. What do you do or experience there, and why is it meaningful to you?

Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me an order of wings.

And a table with my friends.

Stadium Grille isn’t the kind of place that would typically inspire a college essay. It’s not where I found the cure for cancer or ended world hunger. And it sure doesn’t look like Thoreau’s cabin in the woods. It’s just a neighborhood burger joint. But despite its outward appearance, Stadium Grille is a safe haven for me because it is an escape from everyday life and everyday problems. It is where I am my truest self. It is my Walden.

Stadium Grille is a sports restaurant—a nondescript concrete block building near a strip mall, a few paces from a gas station off a busy suburban highway. It would hardly catch your eye. But it’s a sanctuary for the loyal patrons who relax at its sticky tables. It’s filled with big screen TVs and serves ribs and pitchers of soda. The air hangs heavy with a mixture of grease and the sweaty uniforms of the local sports teams that congregate there. The kitchen would make a health inspector faint. All of these things lend it a quirky personality that cannot be imitated by a chain restaurant. But what makes Stadium Grille really special—even transcendent—for me is that I go there with the same five or six best friends who all order the same food…at the same table…at the same time every week. In this predictable ritual of buddies lies a peacefulness that is more real and more authentic than anything I could discover in a silent forest. What started as a way to kill time and pick up cheap food has become an almost sacred gathering.

Henry David Thoreau is one of my favorite writers. When I discovered the Transcendentalists in my junior AP English class, something spoke to me—especially when I read Walden. One of my favorite passages is “I wanted to live deep and suck all the marrow out of life.” This, of course, has a different meaning for everyone. For Thoreau, it meant living a spare, solitary life; for an avid stamp collector, it might mean assembling the quintessential collection; for a pitcher, throwing that perfect slider. For me, it means retreating to a place where I am among true friends, where I can count on a perfect sameness and where everyone knows my name.

Although I have spent an excessive amount of time and money at “The Grille,” I don’t consider anything wasted. “Hanging out with friends” is not the kind of thing you can put on a resume. No parents are going to brag about their son’s latest trip to Dollar Wing Night. But I don’t consider my time there squandered. In fact, Stadium Grille has become an important part of who I am because I always leave happier, more inspired and more clear-minded than when I enter. And despite our casual outward appearance, my friends and I have, in fact, accomplished something important there over the years. We have helped each other grow up.

In the spring of 2010, one friend’s father died suddenly. After paying our respects and attending the official services, it wasn’t long before we migrated to The Grille. Beneath the trash talk about our favorite sports teams was an almost therapeutic support group for our friend. During a time when everything was changing for him, Stadium Grille was one of the only things that remained the same. He has since thanked us—just for hanging out and being there.

Stadium Grille won’t always be my Walden. Someday I will find my safe haven with my wife or children or in a career I am passionate about. But it has been priceless to me because it is one of the first places that I have called Home.

—Robert Langan Watters

STUDENT 2

Prompt: Recount an incident or time when you experienced failure. How did it affect you, and what lessons did you learn?

It has been a challenging road, but I must admit that I have made many sacrifices and have worked intensely to become a new person. For years, I tried to lose weight, but failed to do so. Nevertheless, ironically, I have been experiencing some good “downs” in my life. As the scale keeps going down, I am emotionally going up. Since this significant change in my life began, I have gone through several difficult, but satisfying moments. My emotional and social life, my physical appearance, personality, and lifestyle have all changed. Today, I can enjoy life and feel more secure about myself than ever before. My social life was poor and I did not felt comfortable going out with my friends or meeting new people. Now, I look forward to spend time with friends and even make new ones. The most shocking change I have experienced so far would be my physical appearance; I consider myself a new person. You may find this silly, but even dancing at parties or enjoying going paddle boarding, running, and going to the beach are activities I can now enjoy because of my self-esteem and confidence. Another milestone in this process was when I had to replace all the clothes that did not fit me. I began to celebrate minor goals like achieving my “weight goal of the week”. Some people would say that I have changed a lot, and I know I have, but I also think that my “new” personality was always there- hidden under many pounds and many fears. I have become a more interactive and happy person, which now complements my personality. Being overweight did not only affect my body or health, it was excess baggage in my life. My grades and self-esteem were the most affected aspects in my life because of my laziness and lack of motivation; procrastination was my hobby.

I decided to make a change during the summer of 2012. Family and friends helped and motivated me—but the one who persuaded me to make this very important change was my dad. For years he told me that it was not healthy. He had offered me to receive special treatments by doctors and nutritionists, but denial stopped me and had no idea of how serious it was. The first months were very difficult, and the first weeks almost impossible. I had to cut everything that was unhealthy like sugary, and sodium-filled food. One week later, at my first appointment with the doctor, I weighed the same 253 pounds I did when I started. The doctor said that in order for the body to adjust it could take over seven days. The second week, I had lost my first five pounds. I cried, but this time I was very proud of myself. I would have never lost fifty-three pounds without the support of my parents.

This has been a true journey, which has provided great life lessons. I learned that in order to accomplish a goal I have to work and do it not for anyone else, but myself. Working hard, with much effort, good intentions, and inner strength will, certainly, lead me to the expected reward and more. I constantly thought I would fail like before because it was difficult to resist temptation, but I am so glad and proud of myself for not breaking down and, on the contrary, continue pursuing what I had so decided. Most importantly, it has definitely made me realize that failing is necessary to achieve positive results in many aspects of life.

—Gabriela Fernandez Gutierrez

STUDENT 3

Prompt: Describe a personal achievement that you’re proud of.

My most important experience was a real delight and an eye-opener which provided me with a memory to last a life time. The experience thought me that in all things of nature, there’s always something marvelous. I have never had any reason to doubt this statement because I’m a living proof of it.

I’m an archetypal 18 year old. I’m tall enough for a girl my age; good looking, but not in a Halle Berry kind of way. I’m also a prospective pre-medical student; already have two short story books to my credit, and an aspiring essayist. Why am I singing such praises of myself? Just to explain that the attainment of self complacency comes with a great deal of self knowledge and love. But in order to attain this, one must first learn to accept oneself as one is. That was where my struggle began.

Being born and raised in Africa, I had always taken my African heritage to be as much of a curse as it is a burden. My self loathing was further fuelled when my family had to relocate to the Gulf country of Qatar. The culture shock between the two continents for me was seriously debilitating. I had moved from an all black continent to an all white continent, where the masses were used to people of their own kind. Adjustment to a new culture for me had no meaning because I had to deal with the stigma of being a ’Sudani’ in the society, although Sudan was not my home country. I learnt later that a Sudani was simply a person with black skin.

Another factor which contributed to my self dislike was the fact that although I was a good writer, I did not like that fact that I could not speak as flawlessly as Martin Luther King Jr. My stuttering, although not really severe, had succeeded in damping my self confidence and prevented me from enjoying various activities I normally enjoyed. It functioned as my shield, always standing between me and any fine opportunity that came my way. I took it as an excuse to shun any public speaking sessions, lost interest in school speeches and hid comfortably behind its wicked screen. I remember vividly the great panic I had felt before my TOEFL iBT test. I was three days away from my assigned test date and while taking my practice test, I faltered a lot on the speaking section due to my speech disorder and anxiety. My anger erupted and I cursed my whole being with intense passion. I was a nervous wreck. In fact, I had unknowingly let my stuttering tyrannize over me.

Although I was different from the people around me in my city, it wasn’t difficult for me to adjust after a while. I attended a high school which had majority of Indians and because of that, I always stood out. The difference for me was very identifiable; like a red, angry gash staring me in the eye and made me feel like my whole being was created differently. For instance, compared to all the Indian girls around me, with their long, black hair and lithe, athletic bodies, I had curly, afro hair and full, red lips. My nose always had a thin sheet of sweat on it no matter what the weather was, and my palm was just a little bit harder than that of the Indians. Due to all these differences, at that time, I always believed that God had made a mistake while creating me or maybe he went on a lunch break.

In addition to my aforementioned differences with other people, I also had other causes to believe that I was a total mistake. For example, I have such an atypical admiration for the legendary voice of Whitney Houston. Among my other friends, I noticed that I was the only one who was always playing her music or watching her music videos. As my friends have always told me, “I don’t see why you should give her so much preference; she’s no different from Beyonce!” Of course, people’s taste in music vary; but for me then, that was just another reason to bury myself further in my shell with the cry “I’m so different!”

As I grew older however, the benefits of being a different person in the society gently unfolded before my eyes. My revelation sought me out one day as I was returning home from school in the school bus. A girl of about eleven was sited in front of me. Her posture and structure were perfect. “Of course, she’s Indian,” I whispered to myself. The girl suddenly turned back to ask a favor from her friend in the back seat, and my surprise nearly suffocated me. She had a thin sheet of sweat on her nose too, and it was the month of November! “Wow,” I whispered to myself; “this isn’t a genetic disorder after all. Even if it’s only one person that I have seen with this kind of sweating pattern, then it’s perfectly normal”. Some days later, my life gave another surprising twist. As I was frantically searching the internet for stuttering remedies before my TOEFL iBT examination, I accidentally stumbled onto a website on ’famous people who stutter’. I was a bit relived when I realized that the famous golf player—Tiger Woods also had the same problem! In addition, my mother told me about my uncle whose stutter was worse than mine. The appealing thing about him though, is that he has attained a PhD degree and is a very successful pharmacist. I was further stirred when I learnt that the great scientist, Isaac Newton, and the famous Winston Churchill also had the same stuttering problem. Then it dawned on me—if I’m smart, I don’t need my stuttering to stand between me and my success.

Another aspect which helped to boost my self confidence came days later as I was watching the News about Oprah Winfery. My pride and admiration nearly blew my brains apart as I learned of her trials and tribulations and her later attainment of success, riches and world-wide fame. As the Newscaster reported, “She’s one of the few female billionaires in history and she’s a black woman”. Whenever I think of that statement, and my former hatred of my skin color, I practically drown in shame.

Today, however, I smile at my image in the mirror whenever I get the chance because I have grown to appreciate my beautiful, full lips which more than half of Hollywood stars spend millions to acquire. I compliment my lustrous, clear, brown skin and braid my natural afro hair with pride. I have also learnt to accept my speech disorder as a transitory setback and view it as my foundation to a better future. I don’t feel ashamed anymore if I have different tastes from people, especially my friends; it simply gives me a feeling of uniqueness. At present, the idea of ’self respect’ and ’self understanding’ has taken on a new meaning for me because I feel that in order to understand and care for other people, I need to understand and care for myself first.

—Nwamaka Bob-Ume

STUDENT 4

Prompt: Tell us something you are passionate about and why. Do not exceed 1,500 characters.

The beaming lights adjusted their focus on me as I walked toward center stage. Holding my violin and bow, I looked out to the packed audience which seemed to contrast my own solitary position. I had practiced every note in Bach’s Sonata No. 2 many times before, yet this performance seemed a daunting task as I hesitantly lifted my violin. In that moment, as I thought about the beauty of the music I could create, nothing else —not even the audience— mattered. All I could do was bring out every ounce of my expression, drop my anxiety, and start the first note with brilliance. Playing the violin is certainly my most valued passion.

To me, the violin is not a separate item that I control, but an extension of my own body, emotions, and thoughts. Music’s language of sound has deeply impacted my personality, making me more aware and sensitive to the people around me. In a practical sense, the violin has allowed me to appreciate music in different settings. As a soloist, I have learned the skills and nuance needed to let my ability stand on its own. As part of an orchestra ensemble, I learned the importance of communication and putting the success of the team above myself. Whether I’m playing a sophisticated Mozart or an informal “Rodeo”, I always try to put my best talents forward. I am dedicated to bring this same passion as I ascend to my new center stage: Wayne State University.

—Aniruddh Mannari

STUDENT 5

Essay 1

Prompt: Describe a place or environment where you are perfectly content. What do you do or experience there, and why is it meaningful to you?

The best classroom I have ever set foot in was a 1995 Dodge Grand Caravan.

Really, there’s nothing at all special about that van. In fact, I’ve always hated it. It’s cramped, smells like stale dog, and the upholstery is constantly crusty from God knows what. Despite its faults, that awkward gray box on wheels is where I feel most at home. It is where I learned lessons about my passion, my faith, and everything else essential to my personality from my most important teachers—my family.

My family has always been a catalyst for my passion for math. With a math teacher uncle, an engineering undergrad brother, and an MIT engineer grandfather, math conversation was easy to find, and it never came as often as in that van. My uncle Andrew is a self-proclaimed “prime number enthusiast” (he even created a prime number board game, Prime Time™) and that van was where we connected through our love of math. We played a game where we gave each other three-digit numbers and figured out their prime factorizations. To any non-numberphile, that’s probably the most boring game in the world. But the game isn’t what was special about those car rides, it was the connection the game brought. I never had the chance to spend much time with my uncle. While I grew up in Maryland, he was for whatever reason raising donkeys in central Georgia, and a few years ago he moved to Winchester, England. With the little time I saw him, our games were how I learned about my uncle. I got to know his sense of humor and the way his mind works. He passed on to me all his little mathematical tricks about prime numbers, squaring numbers, and whatever else I needed, and those tricks are the closest connection we have.

Conversations in that van taught me about another crucial part of myself: my faith. In my hometown of rural Harford County, Maryland, Jews were not exactly well represented. I was Bar Mitzvah’d in a class of seven, and confirmed with only two. Temple Adas Shalom was also too poor to hire a full-time rabbi, so my understanding of Judaism came from car rides to and from synagogue with my mom. I learned the main tenets of my faith, including differences between types of Jews, and Jewish and Christian ideologies. On one ride my mother talked to me about the pillar of Judaism that would define my faith as a whole: Judaism is the religion of asking questions. She taught me that Judaism rewards pursuing higher knowledge and understanding, and that blind acceptance is not the way to spiritual fulfillment. This concept of knowledge through questioning had always been my philosophy outside of worship, but I had never thought to ask questions about my faith. That revelation finally allowed me to connect my faith to my everyday life, and made me want to continue my Jewish education. Together in that dingy van, my mother gave me the opportunity to develop my own ideas about something that will always be a huge part of my life.

That van was where I learned my most essential values. It’s where I developed my views on relationships, education, and ethics. It’s where I got to communicate with my family on a truly personal level. In past decades, the dinner table has been the watering hole of family dynamics: the place where after a long day, family members would come together and talk to each other free of the outside world. But these days, the only place safe from the distractions of the surrounding world is a tin box on wheels barreling down I-95. I am content where I discuss things I value with people I care about. And if that place is a two-decade-old Dodge Caravan with 130,000 miles on the odometer, then I can’t wait for the next road trip.

—Eli Jaffe

Essay 2

Prompt: Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

I have always had the ability to perceive and understand another person’s state of mind. In the past I used this ability only to avoid conflict, but as I have grown as a person, this ability has enriched every part of my life, including my sense of humor and my relationships.

I was always the peacekeeper of my family. It’s in my nature. I avoid conflict because I can see the consequences and weigh them against the costs of conceding. My mom says when my brother and I were both infants, we had two identical strollers. I sat in one and he threw a fit because he wanted that one. She thought it was so amazing when I calmly stood up and sat in the other stroller. That dynamic carried through my entire childhood, but not exclusively with my brother. I took middle seats on long car rides, admitted to wrongful accusations, and took the raw end of every deal. I made every sacrifice to avoid the horrible arguments I saw everyone else endure. At that point in my life, my understanding nature was working against me. I was able to put myself in others’ shoes by truly listening to them, but when using that skill to appease others, I was forgetting about my own wants and needs.

Now, I have learned to use my ability to understand others without sacrificing my own happiness, and this skill has helped me in many aspects of my life. One major way I use this skill is with my sense of humor. The most important thing about making a joke is the audience. It doesn’t matter how funny I think my joke is if the people around me don’t. Since I’m around so many different people, I use my ability to understand others to adjust my jokes. It would be ridiculous to tell the same kind of jokes around my friends as I tell around my grandparents or my teachers. I have a friend Adrian who loves terrible puns, so whenever I have a good one, I bring it to her. My friend Kevin loves jokes about the internet, and my Physics teacher Mr. Sloan loves physical humor (no pun intended). Being able to recognize these qualities in others helps me to foster better relationships and use humor to connect with them on a deeper level.

This skill allows me to connect with others on not only a humorous level, but a conversational level as well. My family contains some of the most stubborn people I have ever met, especially my Grandpa Bob. When I was younger, he and I would argue on and on over the most ridiculous things. We once argued for twenty minutes because he despised Will Ferrell based on his acting roles (I still don’t really understand why). However, the most frustrating part is not that he wouldn’t concede his point, but that he would make no attempt to try to understand my argument. It is beyond frustrating to try to have an argument or even a conversation with someone who refuses to acknowledge your perspective. Being subjected to arguments with such stubborn people allowed me to recognize when I was being stubborn myself and helped me to better communicate with others. By truly listening to other people’s arguments and seeing issues from their perspectives, I can not only get my point across more effectively, but also see sides to issues that I had never considered.

My ability to read and understand others helps me in nearly every facet of my life. In the past it hindered me, making me sacrifice my own happiness to please others. However, it now allows me to form lasting relationships with others through both humor and conversation by seeing the world through their eyes. Connecting with others on this level enriches both my own life and theirs, and what quality could I value more?

—Eli Jaffe

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