College essays that made a difference - Princeton Review 2010

Adam Berlinsky-Schine
The applicants

In high school, Adam created and maintained many advanced websites, including some at no charge for nonprofit organizations. He won several school and regional awards for computer science.

Stats

SAT: 1460 (660 Critical Reading, 800 Math)

SAT Subject Test(s): 700 Writing, 800 Math Level 2, 700 Chemistry

High School GPA: 4.17 weighted

High School: Moses Brown School, Providence, RI

Hometown: Providence, RI

Gender: Male

Race: Caucasian

Applied To

Cornell University

Please note: Adam did not disclose information about other applications.

Essay

Adam used the following essay in his application to Cornell.

Please write an entry from your own life journal that reports something in exquisite honesty and accuracy.

Everyone passes that test.

Today was my long awaited driving test. I’ve driven the course several zillion times flawlessly in preparation for today. I was confident, but also nervous. I was already one of the last people in my class to have a driver’s license; if I didn’t pass today I’d have to wait another three months until I can take the test again. Worse, I’d have to be on hold at the Department of Motor Vehicles for an hour and a half like last time, when I had to reschedule my appointment because I’d be away at Cornell’s summer program on the date I’d originally scheduled. But there was nothing to worry about. It would be an easy and painless ten minutes.

So there I was, sitting in the driver’s seat banging my thumbs against the wheel and listening to Dad explain how the secret to success was to make sure my seatbelt was fastened really tightly. And red lights mean “stop.”

“Sorry,” was all I said, as I hit the curb leaving the parking lot where I had been awaiting the inspector. The inspector mumbled something incomprehensible, as I silently panicked. Does that mean I automatically fail? If he had said so, I would have heard it. Maybe he likes me, and is giving me a second chance. After all, he’s not too scared to be in the car with me. Maybe …

All my fears were justified when we deviated from the course that I knew so well by turning back into the parking lot that starts and ends the test. Surely, he just wants me to start over and try that turn again. Fat chance. It was only then that the inspector confirmed that hitting a curb is an automatic failure, and that I had failed my driving test.

I couldn’t believe it. That was the first test I’d ever failed. All I had to do was drive for ten minutes without screwing up. And I couldn’t do it.

Cheerfully reentering the car, Dad was clearly relieved that he wouldn’t have to share the road with me for a good three more months. The whole way home I internally yelled at myself for my failure. How could I have hit the curb on the corner that I had successfully completed so many times previously, without ever hitting it?

When Laura, the little brat, found out, she commenced running around the room banging into walls to demonstrate precisely how I must have crashed. I can’t believe I gave her this ammunition she could use to taunt me. And so I will have to wait another three months and listen to the recording at the Department of Motor Vehicles tell me that my call is important to them and that I should please stay on the line …

See this page to find out where this student got in.