College essays that made a difference - Princeton Review 2010

Candace Seu
The applicants

Candace was involved in a wide variety of activities in high school, including 4-H, student government, Math Club, and a writers’ collective.

Stats

SAT: 1560 (760 Critical Reading, 800 Math)

High School GPA: 4.00

High School: Waiakea High School, Hilo, HI

Hometown: Hilo, HI

Gender: Female

Race: Asian American

Applied To

California Institute of Technology

Harvey Mudd College

Illinois Institute of Technology

Pomona College

University of Southern California

Essay 1

Candace used the following essay as the personal statement in her Caltech application.

When I was five, my father told me to become a doctor. Doctors make a lot of money, so I readily agreed. Everyone had decided that it would be befitting for me to become a doctor. I had decided that it would be befitting to become rich.

For seven years, this was the established plan of action. It was inevitable that I would become a rich yuppie, commute to work in my luxury car, and come home in the evenings to my 2.5 kids and their dog. Thankfully, this future was forever postponed when, in intermediate school, I realized that I neither cared about money nor medicine. What I wanted to do, I realized, was science.

Like all of the other seventh graders that year, I was forced to do a science fair project — and like most, I prepared to hate it. As far as I could tell, Mr. Ahmadia was making attempts on my life again. The fact that this was not the case came to me only in retrospect, when, surveying the results of my finished project, I realized that the torture had actually been fun. Although I complained when I was forced to do two more projects within the next four years, it was only half-heartedly so.

My interest in science was further developed when I traveled to New York for a three-week course in neurobiology during my sophomore summer. There, I developed a genuine interest for the neurosciences, and began wondering about the possibilities of becoming a research scientist. The next summer, I had the chance to try out that career path when I was selected to participate in the Roswell Park Cancer Institute Summer Student program. Those seven weeks were the best summer of my life — because even when I contaminated the cell cultures, even when my tests didn’t work, and even when my results came back inconclusive—I knew that this was what I wanted to be doing for the rest of my life.

At the moment, my passion for knowledge draws me towards the neurosciences, a world where there is still much to be discovered. More specifically, I would like to focus my studies on neurodegenerative diseases, with a possible hope of developing a therapy or cure for such afflictions as Alzheimer’s disease.

I don’t expect to achieve anything that the world will remember and thank me for — I know that this seems self-defeating, but it only stems from my desire to reject any idealistic heroism in my motivations. I would be completely joyful to be able to have a part in something that would favorably impact many people’s lives — but I will be equally joyful if I can do the same for only one person. If I can prevent one person from developing Alzheimer’s, or give one family a little more time to enjoy life with a person they love, I will be satisfied with my work.

Essay 2

Candace used the following picture book as the supplemental essay in her Caltech application. According to Candace, the prompt was as follows:

The vibrant and diverse undergraduate student body at Caltech is considered by many of its members to be one of the best things about the school. What talents or qualities can you contribute to this and to your fellow students? We want to know what you are like outside of academics.

The two pages listing the applicant’s dubious interests and “talents” have been lost to posterity due to youthful self-effacement, or maybe prudence.

We apologize for the inconvenience

See this page to find out where this student got in.