College essays that made a difference - Princeton Review 2010
Hannah Rebecca Stern
The applicants
In high school, Hannah helped others develop their writing skills by working as a tutor. She received many awards for her high grades and also for her participation in the Girl Scouts. For her Gold Award Project, she wrote a 58-page handbook dealing with survival in the real world, and then organized and ran the accompanying workshop. The guide so well received it was added to the school library. In her spare time, Hannah worked as a cashier at Target to help fund her internship at the Visual Photography studio.
Stats
SAT: 1930 (730 Critical Reading, 660 Math, 740 Writing)
SAT Subject Test(s): 770 Literature, 770 French
ACT: 33
High School GPA: 4.08
High School: Rancho Bernardo High School, Poway, CA
Hometown: Poway, CA
Gender: Female
Race: Caucasian
Applied To
California State University—San Francisco
University of California—Davis
University of California—Irvine
University of California—Los Angeles
University of California—Santa Barbara
Essay
Hannah used the following essay in her application to all of the schools in the University of California system listed above.
Tell us about a talent, experience, contribution, or personal quality you will bring to the University of California.
My zeal for writing compels me to pursue its study any time I can. Whether for assigned work in class or an idea lit by flashlight late at night, I take up my pen whenever possible. I hope to write for a living in the future, and would love to use my skills to contribute to the community of the University of California. The resolve I have shown in the past shows my dedication to achieving this goal. Throughout my high school career, I have led the discussions in my English classes, adding insight of my own while I pondered the ideas of my classmates. I have participated in clubs and held office in one, and continue to tutor struggling English students, but afterward I always find time to write. After completing my schoolwork and performing my daily duties, I use my time to do what I love to do. Writing has always been my focus. Even during my extracurricular activities, I remain attentive to the English language. Tutoring students in English gives others a chance to enjoy reading and writing and keeps my basic knowledge sharp - I will take any practice I can get.
My passion for the written word will carry into my studies at the University of California, where I will continue to devote myself to the advancement of my craft. This devotion has shown itself in the past through my determination to find an outlet for my writing. On July 21, 2006, I found such an outlet at Visual Photography, where I was having my senior pictures taken. In conversation with the photographer, I mentioned that I hoped to find an internship opportunity with a local newspaper. The photographer brought up the student recognition program called F.A.C.E that the studio was conducting in partnership with the Poway Chieftain, one of those newspapers. The task of copy-editing the biographies of student participants seemed overwhelming to the Visual Photography staff. As copy-editing is the final polishing step in the writing process, I knew this would be the perfect chance for me to hone my skills in this practical aspect of writing. This would let me see the work of others in the way that publishing companies might view my work later. After speaking with the studio’s manager about helping with this task, I walked out of Visual Photography overjoyed. My 23+-hour internship at Visual Photography began in August of 2006, and my supervisor thought my editing work impressive enough to merit my addition to the studio’s payroll in September.
My service at the Visual Photography studio as a copy-editor has given me the entry-level experience necessary to continue to climb toward my goals. Working in its office environment has been good practice for my future interactions with the corporate publishing world. I was also able to watch its interactions with local newspapers such as the North County Times and the Chieftain. When my supervisor took me on an introductory visit to the Chieftain, I spoke with its Editor-in-Chief, and arranged a winter internship. At Visual Photography, I created my own job opening and also opened the door to my journalistic career. This gateway is far from the last I will find: Where writing opportunities do not exist, I will create them.
I look forward to sharing my enthusiasm for the English language working with the published professors in the English Department of a University of California campus. I am eager to add my thoughts to the university’s melting pot of ideas and inspiration.
See this page to find out where this student got in.