College essays that made a difference - Princeton Review 2010
Wenjun Jing
The applicants
Wenjun was a varsity athlete in volleyball, squash, and crew and was voted captain of the volleyball team her senior year. She also recorded a CD and went on a singing tour of France with her high school’s concert choir.
Stats
SAT: 1500 (740 Critical Reading, 760 Math)
SAT Subject Test(s): 700 Math Level 2, 720 Chinese with Listening, 660 French
High School GPA: N/A—Wenjun’s school graded with a “group” system; she had an A average
High School: St. Andrew’s School, Middletown, DE
Hometown: Cherry Hill, NJ
Gender: Female
Race: Asian American
Applied To
Barnard College
Carnegie Mellon University
Columbia University
Connecticut College
Harvard College
Massachusetts Institute of Technology
Rice University
Rutgers University
Tulane University
Washington University in St. Louis
Wellesley College
Yale University
Essay
Wenjun used the following essay in her applications to Wellesley, Harvard, Rice, and Washington.
Common Application: Topic of your choice.
Personal Statement: Coming out of the Cave
When I left for boarding school, Sasha and I promised to write to each other and keep in touch through email. She and I had become best friends ever since she rescued me from an empty seat on the school bus in the beginning of 7th grade. About a week into my new high school, after I finally learned how to use the email system, we started emailing each other every day. She would update me on things going on at home, and we would trade stories about our schedules. She was horrified at my Saturday classes and the fact that we were required to play sports. We found it ironic that our schools could be so different, and yet we were so much alike. We exchanged the normal amount of silly emails—complaints about homework, lack of sleep, guy trouble, etc. I assumed that her life back at home was about the same as it was last year.
Then, one evening, as I was checking my email, there was a message from Sasha. It began, “Wenjun, there’s something I have to tell you. I’m gay.” I was shocked. I was scared. I thought, this is a joke. Sasha? Gay? My best friend of three years was gay and I hadn’t had a clue. In that email, the longest I’ve ever read, she told me everything. She had known she was gay for almost two years, and she had told very few people, only those she could trust would support her. She hadn’t told her parents, and wasn’t planning to. She said she couldn’t bring herself to tell me in person because she couldn’t be sure of my reaction so she was doing it over email. I thought to myself, where have I been for the past two years? On another planet? I had been totally oblivious. I was in shock. How could I not have known? There were so many clues. She never wore skirts or dresses. Never wore makeup. Never crushed on the same guys that we crushed on.
All this time, I had been in the dark to Sasha’s identity. Either through assumption or deception, I had never thought that she was gay. As Plato, in his Allegory of the Cave, spoke of those in the cave who mistook shadows for reality, I mistook Sasha’s true self. I only saw her shadow, the outward appearance of the Sasha that I knew, and not the Sasha that she was. With this email, I was drawn into the “light”, and I felt blinded. But I realized that I wasn’t friends with Sasha simply because she was a heterosexual person. No, I was friends with her because she was funny, witty, kind, generous, and sweet. As I got used to the “blinding light”, my eyes adjusted, and I wrote back to her, telling her I didn’t care if she was gay. The next time I saw her I wouldn’t treat her any differently, I said.
I also was drawn into the light about her mental problems. She had been having such a hard time keeping her secret to herself, on top of having family problems, that she had been contemplating suicide. I had no idea. The entire time that I knew her, I never once thought she was anything but happy and stable.
Presently, our friendship is strained by this new revelation, and I worry about being PC around her. Many times, I wish I were back in the cave, mistaking shadows for reality. It is so easy to just overlook the difficult issues or pretend things don’t exist if it’s advantageous for yourself. However, I know that had I been kept in the dark, Sasha and I would have always had a chasm between us. Now, we both work hard to remain best friends, knowing that a friendship built on truth is stronger than one built on shadows.
See this page to find out where this student got in.