Booher's Rules of Business Grammar - Dianna Booher 2009
Verbs with attitude
Parallel bars and balance beams
ACTIVE AND PASSIVE VOICE
Suppose you are CEO and your VP of sales says to you, “The prospect rejected our proposal, and you may also be surprised to discover that our name has been removed from the bidders list.” You’ll probably be wondering who removed your name from the client’s bidders list.
The sentence doesn’t provide the information. And therein lies the problem with passive voice. Does your VP have “an attitude” and just not want to be forthcoming with the information? Is the VP protecting someone? Or is she just a careless communicator?
Let’s analyze:
If the subject of the sentence acts, the verb is active. If the subject of the sentence receives action, the verb is passive.
Active:
Spike hires a new salesperson each month. (The subject Spike acts.)
Passive:
A new salesperson is hired each month. (The subject salesperson receives action—gets hired.)
Active:
Judd wrote the e-mail. (The subject Judd acts.)
Passive:
The e-mail was written by Judd. (The subject e-mail receives action—Judd wrote it.)
Active:
The market is plunging today. (The subject market acts.)
Passive:
The market was flooded by traders dumping stocks. (The subject market receives action—it got flooded.)
Active:
Pay the fare online. (The understood subject you should act.)
Passive:
The fare should be paid online. (Somebody should do something to the subject fare—pay it.)
Active-voice verbs generally make writing crisp, clear, and concise. Passive-voice verbs also have a place and purpose: they add variety, slow the pace, and focus on the results and action of the sentence if the doer is unimportant.
The grammar goof happens when the two (both active and passive verbs) are mixed in one sentence or, worse, within one clause, creating inconsistency and confusion about who’s doing what. Back to the earlier situation: “The prospect rejected (active) our proposal, and you may also be (active) surprised to discover that our name has been removed (passive) from the client’s bidders list.”
Passive-voice verbs often remove the doers or actors altogether from the sentence drama. The feel is much like a theater with a voice-over and no characters visible on the set. Generally, who does what is important. That’s why the passive voice often leads to clarity problems.
Passive:
The winner of the award has already been selected. (by whom?)
The negotiated deal has been rejected. (by which side?)
The decision was made to move ahead with the project. (by whom?)
The problem is being escalated to the CEO. (by whom?)
The contract has been signed by the client. (doer included here)
Active:
The prospect rejected our proposal, and the evaluation team removed our name from the client’s bidders list.
Even if you don’t care who does what in any given situation, make all verbs within a sentence either consistently active or consistently passive.
Incorrect:
You need to sign these checks, and the social security number should be written on them.
Correct:
You need to sign these checks and write your social security number on them.
Incorrect:
Phones will be installed in every office, and they will repaint walls. (Phones will repaint the walls?)
Correct:
Phones will be installed in every office, and the walls will be repainted.
The night crew will install phones in every office and repaint the walls.
Don’t create mysteries when you write. Unless you need the passive voice for a specific purpose, put actors on stage in your sentences.
Memory tip
Use active or passive verbs consistently within a sentence. And as a rule of thumb, put people in your prose (active voice) for clear, concise writing.