It was the best of sentences, it was the worst of sentences - June Casagrande 2010

To know them is to hating them: Faulty and funky parallels

Sammy's Grill is open daily for lunch and dinner and Sunday brunch.

Sunday brunch daily? Awesome.

Roger praised the band's vocalist, bassist, drummer, keyboard, and guitar players.

That was sweet of Roger to praise the keyboard.

Relax in the lounge, the sauna, or by the pool.

Why just relax in the pool or by the pool when you can relax in by the pool?

She was awarded a national book award in fiction as well as a finalist for the Pulitzer Prize.

I wonder which prize finalist they gave her and what she did with him.

These are all real faulty parallels by real writers who were getting paid real money. They prove that parallels can be tricky. So it's worth taking a minute to master them.

Parallel form relies on Reader expectations. When Readers see something in list form, they expect it to be a list:

Pablo has visited Maine, Idaho, Pennsylvania, Georgia, and New Jersey.

When you include an element that doesn't work like the others, you betray those expectations:

Pablo has visited Maine, Idaho, Pennsylvania, loves Georgia, and New Jersey.

Parallels can be lists of words, phrases, or whole clauses. Each element should be in the same form and should attach in the same way to any shared phrase or clause. Look at this example:

This car runs fast, lasts long, requires little maintenance, and holds its value.

The shared element is this car. Each of the listed items is a verb phrase that, on its own, can make this car a complete sentence. They all attach to this car in the same way. That would not work if one of the items was not a verb phrase, like well in this example:

This car runs fast, well, lasts long, requires little maintenance, and holds its value.

Our structure suggests we meant, This car runs fast, runs well, runs lasts long, runs requires little maintenance, and runs holds its value. But that's not what we meant at all.

There are several ways to fix faulty parallels. You can add bits to the parallel items until they're equals:

This car runs fast, runs well, lasts long, requires little maintenance, and holds its value.

Or you can break up the sentence in a way that signals that the list has ended:

This car runs fast, well, and long, and it requires little maintenance and holds its value.

Parallels don't have to be faulty to be jarring:

I was entertained by the decor, as well as the live piano music.

You could argue that entertained by applies to both the listed items. But it would be clearer if you repeated the by.

I was entertained by the decor, as well as toy the live piano music.

Every parallel poses its own unique dangers. There's no simple formula for getting it right every time. All you can do is proceed with caution and remember the Reader.