Choose an appropriate tone - Style

The little red writing book - Brandon Royal 2007

Choose an appropriate tone
Style

Principle #15: Write with a positive, personal tone.

Tone is a difficult thing to describe; some define it as the writer’s attitude. Tone occurs along two major dimensions: positive or negative and formal or informal. Today, a positive and personal tone is appropriate on most writing occasions. One way to control writing tone is through your choice of positive versus negative words. Use positive words whenever possible; readers instinctively dislike being told what is not true as opposed to what is true. Thus, even negative forms can be turned into positive expressions.

POSITIVE VS. NEGATIVE TONE

Negative:

The store will close at 7 p.m.

Note: This uses a negative verb “close.”

Positive:

The store will remain open until 7 p.m.

Note: This uses a positive adjective “open.”

Negative:

The plan is not sound.

Note: This uses a negative word; it tells us what isn’t true as opposed to what is true.

Positive:

The plan has drawbacks.

Note: This states deficiencies in a positive manner; it tells us what is true.

FORMAL VS. INFORMAL TONE

Writing may have a formal or an informal tone. Two factors that influence formality are the use of contractions and personal pronouns.

USE OF PERSONAL PRONOUNS

Add personal pronouns to make your writing more informal and personable.

No pronouns:

Please send any follow-up questions to the customer service department.

Pronouns:

If you have any follow-up questions, please contact our customer service department.

No pronouns:

The Chief Executive Officer is aware that strengthening product quality is the key to turning around the company.

Pronouns:

Our Chief Executive Officer believes that we need to strengthen product quality in order to turn the company around.

A complete list of personal pronouns include:

1st person:

I, me, my, mine, we, us, ours

2nd person:

you, your, yours

3rd person:

he, she, they, him, her, them, it, his, hers, its, their, theirs

Also:

who, whom, whose

USE OF CONTRACTIONS

Add contractions (for example, can’t, isn’t, shouldn’t, won’t) if you want your writing to come across as informal.

No contractions:

The stockholders have not voted on a new Chief Executive Officer.

Contractions:

The stockholders haven’t voted on a new Chief Executive Officer.

Other factors also affect whether a document is considered formal, informal, or semi-formal (see following segment). A personal letter or e-mail is typically informal, while a business report is formal. A business letter is a good example of a semi-formal document: It usually contains informal characteristics (for example, use of contractions, first-person pronouns, colloquial expressions, and simple or non-technical vocabulary) as well as formal characteristics (for example, formal salutations and signatures).

CHARTING THE FORMAL AND INFORMAL TONES

In summary, a formal tone has the following characteristics:

FORMAL TONE

INFORMAL TONE

• few or no contractions

• contractions

• few or no first-person pronouns

• first-person pronouns

• few or no colloquial expressions

• colloquial expressions

• complex or technical vocabulary

• simple, non-technical vocabulary

• longer sentences

• shorter sentences

• passive voice

• active voice

• precise figures

• approximate figures

• introduction and conclusion

• no introduction or conclusion

• salutations and signatures

• no salutations or signatures

• table of contents

• no table of contents

• bibliography or footnotes

• no bibliography or footnotes

The two “pyramids” below highlight the characteristics of a formal and informal tone.

Note: Although the use contractions is now widespread, there are two theories on the effect of their use. The first theory or majority view is to use contractions because they reinforce a personal tone. The second or minority view is that although contractions are fine for use in writing e-mails and personal letters, it is preferable to avoid them in formal documents such as essays and reports.

EXERCISE

Make this letter “warmer” by using a more positive and personal tone. This is a semi-formal document, and it is recommended that contractions not be used.

See suggested revision

Dear Mr. Jones:

Comptronics Inc. deeply regrets the problems experienced with your notebook computer, Model 580G. The company’s engineers examined the unit and decided that the problems were so massive that they were not able to make repairs. The two remaining options are either to take a refund on the unit, or to request replacement with a new model. Please inform the service department of a decision, and Comptronics Inc. will quickly respond.

Sincerely,



Mr. Do Good

Service Representative

Comptronics Inc.