College essays that made a difference - Princeton Review 2010

James Gregory
The applicants

James was student body treasurer his senior year, a two-year letterman in basketball, and basketball team captain. He was a National Merit Scholarship winner and named to the basketball Academic All-State Team his senior year.

Stats

SAT: 1540

SAT Subject Test(s): 800 Math Level 2, 780 Spanish

High School GPA: 5.13 (out of 6.00)

High School: Walter Hines Page High School, Greensboro, NC

Hometown: Greensboro, NC

Gender: Male

Race: Caucasian

Applied To

Duke University

Harvard College (early action)

Princeton University

University of North Carolina

Yale University

Essay

James used the following essay in his applications to Duke and Harvard, and modified it for Princeton. He also used it in his National Merit Scholarship application.

Write about a matter of importance to you. If you have written a personal essay for another purpose—even an essay for another college—that you believe represents you, your writing, and your thinking particularly well, feel free to submit it.

To really understand who I am, remember your childhood. Remember the pleasure that eating a great big peanut butter and jelly sandwich delivered? How it seemed to just slide down your throat and ease into your stomach? That sandwich is the result of the perfect combination of ingredients, all working together to create a satisfying experience. If any one ingredient were missing, the whole sandwich would fall apart. In fact, I would argue that the world is very much like one large PB&J, filled with many different ingredients. People can be classified according to their personality and similarity to these ingredients. I am like the chunky peanut butter. Although I may not be as showy as the jelly or as visible as the bread, I am the heart of the sandwich. I am essential to the sandwich’s success. I work behind the scenes, holding it all together, keeping all the ingredients organized and focused on their task. I lead through example, but I am flexible. I am able to work with any kind of jelly. I am slightly shy, so I do not need to be the center of attention; I am content in leading without recognition. However, you always know I am there. You taste all my chunks, all the little quirks that set me apart from the rest. Whether it is my dry sense of humor, my volunteer work at a summer day camp for my kids, or my fervent school spirit, each unique piece guarantees that your experience will not be mundane and bland. With every bite you take, you taste more of me: my excellent grades, my size 15 feet, and my dedication to Student Council. I am more fun than creamy peanut butter; you never know what to expect, but you know that it is going to be good. However, my most important attribute is my willingness to sacrifice to help others. I have unselfishly stepped aside on the basketball court to let the team as a whole shine, and I enthusiastically devote time to service projects through Junior Civitans that help the community. This desire to help is ingrained in my personality, and drives my plan to become a physician and continue my service to others. I refuse to give up before I attain this dream; I have the persistence of the little glob of peanut butter that sticks to the roof of your mouth. No matter how many times you smack you mouth, I will not go away. This drive has enabled me achieve academic success, success that I will continue into my higher education, and into my life. I am fun, I am good for you, and I am more than the sum of my pieces. I am the chunky peanut butter.

See this page to find out where this student got in.