College essays that made a difference - Princeton Review 2010

Jamie Bushell
The applicants

In high school, Jamie was awarded both the Scholar Athlete and Junior Excellence in Writing Awards. She was also the president of Letter Club, captain of the Varsity tennis and lacrosse teams, and a member of Mu Alpha Theta Society, the Foreign Language Society, and the high honor roll.

Stats

SAT: 1240 (600 Critical Reading, 640 Math)

High School GPA: 4.46 (out of 5.0)

High School: Paul D. Schreiber High School, Port Washington, NY

Hometown: Port Washington, NY

Gender: Female

Race: Caucasian

Applied To

Reed College

University of California—Berkeley

University of California—Los Angeles

University of California—Santa Barbara

Essay

Allison used the following essay in her application to Reed College.

Please tell us about a risk you’ve taken.

A Risk I’ve Taken

I had never considered myself a daredevil or major risk-taker, nor had I experienced the fear and trembling that risk generates. All of that changed when I registered at Princeton University’s Girls’ Elite Lacrosse camp last summer. All alone, with only my duffel bag at my side, my eyes stared straight ahead, espying callous and unfriendly girls linked arm — in —arm, shouting happily together. I kept my head down as I walked a solitary mile to my dorm room, only to discover I didn’t have a roommate. Tears swelled in my eyes as I looked away from my parents when they left. For the first time in my life, I wasn’t excited about playing lacrosse.

I knew I had to self-administer some powerful, emotional first aid, so I began by reminding myself that the true reason I was at camp was to improve my skills, and increase my passion. I told myself, “It’s just four days, Jamie; you can do it.”

For the next hour, I rested on the hard mattress, with my head buried in my pillow, listening to music. I began to recall how I felt, at age eight, walking out of the school bus on my first day of summer camp, when again, I knew no one. My nerves were shaking incredibly, but as I walked into the bunk and saw ten other girls sitting by themselves, I ventured over. That small act of bravery initiated relationships that still exist. Thus, I resolved that despite an initially undesirable situation, I was determined to make the best of this experience too.

The first night, I prepared myself to eat dinner alone. As I closed my dorm room behind me, I took a deep breath and walked to the cafeteria. After getting my food, the real test began. Would I find any people to sit with? Would they talk to me? Would they like me? As I approached random tables, I head a voice from behind me: “Do you want to sit with us?”

“Sure!” I said with a huge sigh of relief. As I sat down, the awkward silence was palpable. In an attempt to break it, I asked the three other girls where they were from. “St. Mary’s,” one girl said. “Garden City,” another replied. Coincidentally, they lived in towns close to my own. In fact, our lacrosse teams played against one another during the school year. Moreover, to my great delight, two of the other girls had also come to the camp by themselves. A sense of comfort was developing, and for the rest of camp, as much as a friendly wave was enough for me to know I wasn’t really there by myself.

On the last night of camp, as ten of us sat outside chatting, it struck me that every one of us had arrived by ourselves. As the non-stop conversations flowed from school to social activities, it hardly seemed that I had known these girls for only three nights.

At that moment, I realized I had been narrow-minded and hasty in judging people. I had become friends with the girls I presumed to be callous. I have discovered that situations that I might not appreciate at first, can turn out to provide some of my best memories. In this situation, I allowed my anxiety to shape my opinions about the girls, rather than allowing myself the freedom to experience and find out.

Not only did I discover my capability to overcome an adverse situation, but I learned that taking risks, with its potential rewards, such as obtaining new friends, compensate for any fear of failure.

Since then, I realize that taking a risk does not have to be as exotic as skydiving or bungee jumping, for the greatest, most gratifying risks come when one takes a step out of her comfort zone. The greatest risk of my life resonates with part of my favorite quotation from M.A. Hershey: “risk shook my spirit, confirmed my courage and reinstated my daring.” I can now officially call myself a daredevil.

See this page to find out where this student got in.