College essays that made a difference - Princeton Review 2010
Jane Sha
The applicants
In high school, Jane interned at a biotechnology company and participated in various community service organizations such as the Jenny Lin Foundation, Asian Student Union, and Key Club International, of which she was treasurer and newsletter editor. She served as co-captain of her high school tennis team for two out of the four years she was a member, and received various awards such as the AP Scholar Award, Varsity Scholar Award, Key Club Award, and Academic All-CTF Selection Award.
Stats
SAT: 1920 (610 Critical Reading, 730 Math, 580 Writing)
SAT Subject Tests: 730 Ecological Biology, 750 Math Level II, 730 Chinese with Listening
High School GPA: 4.34
High School: Castro Valley High, Castro Valley, CA
Hometown: Castro Valley, CA
Gender: Female
Race: Asian American
Applied To
New York University
Stanford University
University of California, Berkeley
University of California, Davis
University of California, Irvine
University of California, Los Angeles
University of California, Riverside
University of California, San Diego
University of Pennsylvania
University of Southern California
Essay
Jane submitted the following essay to the schools listed above.
How have you taken advantage of the educational opportunities you have had to prepare for college?
From fifth-grade science competitions to high school experiments, science has been a driving force in my life. Ever since I was little, I wanted to learn not only through textbooks, but also in a professional lab. This past summer, I had the opportunity to work as a volunteer intern at Nanoplex Technologies Inc. Because very few high school students get to experience this, I didn’t want it to slip away from me and accepted the challenge with full enthusiasm. I felt prepared to expand my knowledge and confidently put my best foot forward onto a whole new level.
For the first few weeks, I was exposed to different proteins, buffers, and high-tech equipment. My research project was to detect anthrax spores in air samples. Due to anthrax’s toxicity, I simulated the model by using a protein called thrombin. I tested to see if a substance called aptamer would be able to detect it. By using a fluorescent microscope, any sign of fluorescence indicated that the thrombin was detectable. With the help of many other scientists perfecting this method, we can rapidly detect anthrax spores in the near future to combat terrorism.
On my last day there, I worked with three proteins, each in a group of ten test tubes. Each group was diluted with a liquid buffer until I was left with three test tubes. I noticed the first tube was a murky brown, the second a lighter shade, and the third, when held up to the light was the clearest of them all. In past experiments, I had failed to obtain significant results, but I didn’t allow a few errors discourage me. This time, I meticulously used a pipette to draw up the liquids, and then released them into an imaging well. Carefully cradling it like a newborn, I gently laid it to rest on a fluorescent microscope. The computer connected to the microscope asked me, “Would you like to FOCUS …” and without a hint of hesitation, I clicked “Yes”. My feet dangled from the twirling white chair while I watched the images brightly flash before me on the computer screen. Sweat beads began to form on my forehead as my heart raced. Before I knew it, and after half an hour of anticipation, the third test tube gave me the most promising results. Since this tube lacked cluttered proteins after the dilution, fluorescence occurred, which was what I had hoped for. This was a personal victory, and a chance to positively impact the science community. With the urge to further my science career, I have submitted my research project to get it published, patented, and entered in the Intel Science Talent Search, a prestigious nationwide pre-college science competition.
From this experience, I have learned that my intellectual curiosity led me to a hands-on experience of science in the real world. After getting the seemingly unobtainable results, I now know that nothing is out of my grasp when I have the motivation, passion for exploration, and thirst for success. For me, learning is like protecting the flame of a torch because no matter what difficulties I have to overcome, the torch I hold will never extinguish. Even though some moments in my learning experience have been murky, I have faith and perseverance to pull through. I still have mountains to climb, torches to hold, and opportunities to pursue, but one thing is for sure: my future, like that test tube, when held up to the light, looks clearest of all.
See this page to find out where this student got in.