College essays that made a difference - Princeton Review 2010
Jessica Lau
The applicants
In high school, Jessica was elected class president, Student Council vice president and secretary, and National Honor Society president. She won four varsity letters on the soccer and track and field teams, and played JV softball. Jessica wrote for the school paper, competed on the Quiz Bowl team and in the Science League, appeared in four school musicals, and was an active Key Club, Volunteer Club, and FBLA member. Outside of school, she volunteered at her church, Lions Eye Bank of New Jersey, SAGE eldercare agency, and local hospital. Jessica also was selected for the New Jersey Governor’s School in the Sciences, the U.S. Senate Youth Program (as a New Jersey delegate), and the Rensselaer Polytechnic Medal for Math and Science.
Stats
SAT: 1580 (790 Critical Reading, 790 Math)
SAT Subject Test(s): 770 Math Level 1, 780 Math Level 2, 760 Chemistry
High School GPA: 4.38 (out of 4.50)
High School: Jonathan Dayton High School, Springfield, NJ
Hometown: Springfield, NJ
Gender: Female
Race: Asian American
Applied To
Brown University
Dartmouth College
Harvard College
Pennsylvania State University
Princeton University
Rutgers University
Tufts University
University of Pennsylvania
University of Michigan
University of Virginia
Essay
Jessica used the following essay in her applications to Dartmouth, Harvard, Tufts, and UVA, and shortened it for Princeton.
Common Application: Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence.
I had the best seat in the classroom. Second row from the front, fifth seat back—not the most facilitating position for a slightly near-sighted freshman to learn world history from. No matter. In my mind, the Bantu and the Bushmen played second fiddle to a boy named Brian.
To me, Brian was the paragon of human existence. I, on the other hand, remained quietly, passively, and uninterestingly in the background, stifled by shyness, and getting out of high school not much more than good test scores and As on my report cards. I was part of the furniture, and “Unobtrusive” was my middle name. Brian was the oil to my vinegar. His strength of character (combined with his extremely good looks) lit up any room he entered and touched all those lucky enough to be graced by his presence. His self-confidence, persuasive abilities, unending capabilities, and almost childlike enthusiasm for everything literally put me in awe. I recognized in him not only qualities I desired in my potential boyfriend, but also everything I’d always wanted for myself.
My excessive adoration drove me to ridiculous lengths. I went about meeting my goal of becoming his girlfriend strategically. The closer to him I got, I figured, the easier the catch. Therefore, when soccer season started, and Brian joined the team, I decided to give the sport a try myself. Brian chose computer science as his elective, so I did as well. When he auditioned for the school play, I followed suit. Like a lemming, I blindly trailed his footsteps, wherever they led.
Alas, my efforts failed, and my beloved soon found a love of his own. It was a sad day in my life. However, all was not lost. I was left with all the new activities, the residue of my unsuccessful pursuit. To my surprise, I realized that they were more than meaningless, leftover obligations; they had acquired personal significance and importance to me. Before soccer, I had never played on a sports team, and my eyes were opened to the benefits of the comradery and cohesiveness of a team, and even to the physical benefits of aerobic activity. I discovered my hidden talent in computer programming, and I proceeded to take all of the classes my school offered. I loved the thrill of becoming a new person (even if only a townsperson or chorus member) on the stage, and I fed my interest by making play auditions an annual event.
From there, I started taking my own initiatives. I had forgotten my timidity; I gained the confidence to go out and do things by myself and for myself. I joined the softball team and volunteered for the Key Club. I raised my hand in class and took an active role at school. I fearlessly and enthusiastically tackled everything in my path. This change in me benefited not only my school career, but everything I did, from the first impressions I make on new friends to my mood in general.
One late spring day in history class, our teacher, Miss Duke, opened the class for student council nominations. Sure, I was now involved in the school, but I was no leader. I promptly shut my ears and diverted my attention. A few minutes later, in the midst of my daydream, I heard my name. Its source? None other than He Himself; Brian. Did I accept the nomination? I forgot my hesitancy, delivered a somewhat shocked and disbelieving nod, wrote a speech, and before I knew it, became class president.
This single event completed the transformation in me. My role as a participant developed into that of a leader. I learned the thrill of spearheading a project. I realized the excitement of making things happen. Best of all, I discovered the reward of inspiring other people, showing them what was shown to me.
Following a boy around was not the proudest moment of my life, but in doing so, I grew a lot as a person. As my eyes were opened to the benefits of simple school activities, I gained self-confidence, an open mind, and an ambition that has defined who I am and where I am going.
See this page to find out where this student got in.