College essays that made a difference - Princeton Review 2010

Stephanie Cross
The applicants

Stephanie played JV softball for one year, played varsity softball for two years, spent two years on the varsity bowling team, and participated in numerous summer leagues for both sports, including ASA and YABA. She was a member of the National Honor Society and the National Spanish Honor Society, and was treasurer of the National Art Honor Society. She was also awarded the Bausch & Lomb Science Award and earned the Silver Award and the Gold Award in Girl Scouting. She played the viola for nine years and was selected to the District Orchestra and the Regional State Orchestra three years in a row.

Stats

SAT: 1510 (710 Critical Reading, 800 Math)

SAT Subject Test(s): 700 Math Level 1, 720 Biology

High School GPA: 104 (out of 100)

High School: Lewisburg Area High School, Lewisburg, PA

Hometown: Lewisburg, PA

Gender: Female

Race: Caucasian

Applied To

Swarthmore College (early decision)

Essay

Write an essay about people who have influenced you, situations that have shaped you, difficulties or conflicts with which you have struggled, goals and hopes you may have for the future, or something else you consider significant.

At times I hated Mrs. Shambaucher, at times I admired her, but to this day I thank God that she was my fourth grade teacher. I didn’t know at the time how much she would influence me as a student or as an individual, but Mrs. Shambaucher provided me with more aggravations and realizations than anyone else I have ever met. Many view her too authoritarian and too tough, but she has a great sense of humor and a great understanding of what is needed in our youth for them to succeed in the future. She instills great ethics and habits in her students, but she can also cause the most frustration.

As I soon learned, Mrs. Shambaucher wasted no time. I remember entering her classroom for the first time and being given a small notebook. It was the first day of school and our make-shift classroom had no black board but she was teaching within the hour. Our first science lesson was on cell structure and organization, terms I wouldn’t see again until sixth grade. I was confused, lost, and overwhelmed. What kind of person would expect a fourth grader to know what a nucleus was or what cilia did? I was scared for my life on that first day but I know I am better because of it. Other science lessons of the year would include rocks, Moh’s scale of hardness, the development of a chicken, and the solar system. The other fourth graders never had to study so much or complete so many worksheets, but they also never even heard of some of the terms I knew until they reached high school. Mrs. Shambaucher was the first person to ever teach me history. I was always interested in the Erie Canal and I had limited access to information on topics I had only scarcely heard of before. The brief overview of Pennsylvanian and American history that I had that year was better than what I received in eighth and ninth grade. I often found myself looking through my tattered notebook to find facts that I had learned over five years earlier.

Another area that I grew to love was literature. Up until this point we had never read a book over one hundred pages long in school, unless it was for a personal book report. I still remember O’Henry’s short stories, The Secret Garden, Black Beauty, Amos Fortune, The Witch of Blackbird Pond, The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, and The Westing Game (one of the best books I have read to this day). Most of these classics are never taught in my school and I don’t know how I would be today if it hadn’t been for the passion for reading that Mrs. Shambaucher instilled in me. She also taught me how to write a biography and how not to write an essay. These helpful hints are never considered in most curricula yet the students are expected to know it. The work load was atrocious when it came to reading and writing. Most students complained, but we continued to read in class as well as at home. My reading skills were sharpened dramatically during that year. One assignment we had was to write instructions for making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. A classmate would then follow the instructions and we would have to eat the result. Lets just say that I never forgot to include every last step in the future after I was presented with a mass of peanut butter and jelly on one piece of bread.

She had a great sense of humor and learning was supposed to be fun. There were always contests to find an answer to a math problem or research facts on famous people. We were the only class to perform school plays, complete with costumes, sets, and pages of memorized lines. Worksheets were assigned to sharpen our reasoning and spark creativity. I learned so much in that year and because of her I have developed a greater appreciation for all aspects of life and learning. The skills that she fostered have been so useful throughout my schooling and in my interactions with other people. I know that I would have been unable to handle so many situations and assignments if it had not been for her emphasis on study habits, attention to detail, and that everything be your personal best. My drive and the quality of my work all stem from her teachings and influence. If it had not been for her, I would never have valued the classics so highly or learned about African American history, algebra, or the stage until at least eight grade.

Despite the effects of her teachings, there were times where I was ready to scream. The homework was intense and there were no excuses for not completing or trying what was taught. Numerous projects and reports were assigned in addition to regular classroom work. The automatic A was no longer a reality and everything that was handed in was expected to be of your best caliber. Instructions had to be followed and just about everything was expected to be typed. She would almost always point out your flaws, even though she could have been reprimanded if a student were to complain. She knew what we were capable of and she would never settle for less. Although a great philosophy when applied to the future of the child, it made life a little more difficult. At times I would think her so unfair and so strict, especially when other classes had two recesses or extra time to talk and play Connect Four. I hated when my name would go on the board for talking in class, or when I wasn’t allowed to go to recess because I had missed a quiz. Through it all she would shrug off any complaints and continue teaching at a rate she knew we could handle if we would apply ourselves.

Politicians today often complain about the state of our public educational system and I would have to agree with them most of the time. However, no amount of money or state regulated guidelines will fix the problems that exist in our schools. I personally feel that we need more Mrs. Shambauchers in the elementary schools. Children should see what they can accomplish and be pushed to their limits time and again until they too desire to learn and yearn for knowledge. I have been shaped in ways I can’t fully comprehend by one teacher who taught what she felt was important and at a rate that even parents were questioning. No principal could have forced her to change a lesson or teach ridiculous state courses without a fight. She knew how to work with children and bring out the best in them in a hope for the future. I admire her so much for changing the world one child at a time. Its a noble goal that no politician can achieve through laws and the fact that she continues to influence over twenty-five children a year is reassuring when faced with so many ill-prepared students. She is one of a kind and her spirit is unparalleled to any teacher I have had thus far. Mrs. Shambaucher influenced me in so many ways outside of education that I know I would not be who I am today if it hadn’t been for her constant prodding and high expectations.

See this page to find out where this student got in.