College essays that made a difference - Princeton Review 2010
Stephanie Wun-Lee Chow
The applicants
Stephanie was president of her high school’s Spanish Honor Society for two years and vice president of its Science Club her senior year. She was also named Most Valuable Player of the Mathematics League two years in a row and captained the tennis team her senior year.
Stats
SAT: 1480 (690 Critical Reading, 790 Math)
SAT Subject Test(s): 800 Math Level 2, 740 Biology, 730 Chemistry
High School GPA: 3.88
High School: Wethersfield High School, Wethersfield, CT
Hometown: Wethersfield, CT
Gender: Female
Race: Asian American
Applied To
Boston University
Brown University (PLME Program)
Columbia University
Cornell University
Harvard College (early action)
Massachusetts Institute of Technology
Princeton University (early action)
Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute
University of Connecticut
Yale University
Essay 1
Stephanie used the following essay in her application to MIT. The essay prompt asked the applicant to make up a question and answer it. Stephanie posed the question:
Which more describes your personality, a Cheerio or a Snickers bar?
Drawing parallels between both Cheerios and Snickers bars and myself is no problem; I find both foods agreeable to my personality quirks. Pressure to select one, however, favors the chocolatey Snickers bar over the wholesome Cheerio. The former’s multitude of ingredients, physical structure, and rise to fame bear a stronger resemblance to the circus of thoughts entertained in my mind.
Cheerios sports the healthier nutrition label; having this cereal’s “healthy, whole-grain” personality marks an untiringly responsible, straightforward individual content to live an ordinary life, free from wild excitement. The simpleton Cheerio, lacking the domineering clutter of flakes and raisins, connotes a humble and uncomplicated life. These qualities portray a very stable and worldly individual.
Snickers cannot compete with the nutritional “virtuosity” of its opponent but combatively wields wonder weapons of its own. The ingenious combination of Snickers’s delectable ingredients: chocolate, caramel, and peanuts, evokes strong sensations of pleasure in the blissful consumer.
The chocolate coating washes the restless soul like morning tides over a sun-baked sandcastle, problems and concerns reconciled with each passing mouthful. Likewise, my mind bears the task of extinguishing problems, my own and of others.
My imagination finds representation in the caramel, rich and flexible. Leisurely pulling each bite of Snickers from the origin and watching the gooey strands stretch their fullest, glistening in the light with sticky, sweet happiness, ensures maximum exposure of the golden luxury.
The highlight of my Snickers adventure lies largely in the presence of the crunchy peanuts, sharp contrast to their creamy confectionery counterparts. These crispy hidden treasures rejuvenate my optimism and jocularity by replenishing my mind with imaginative ideas and perspectives. I also entertain the thought that the peanuts allude to my slightly “nutty” personality.
One may elect to analyze the physical structure of the two foods to draw additional comparisons; Cheerios sport the infallibly circular doughnut shape while the Snickers take on a more rectangular prismatic skeleton. Circles commonly serve as symbols of perfection and complete unity; presumably, the Cheerio’s circular shape as a representation of the personality of an individual implies a continuing contention for a life of perfection. Nevertheless, I do not care to fall victim to a life of endless struggle in achieving and maintaining a state of utopia; I prefer the company of the natural, reliable, Snickers figure, so mundane and simple yet an ingeniously constructed idea; countless architectural structures utilize the strength and practicality of the rectangular prism.
The much famed Honey Nut Cheerio flaunts an attractive honeybee mascot; Snickers relies simply on rewards of its taste for promotion through the ambitious ladder of success. While the Cheerios are the more publicized and celebrated, Snickers has managed to make a name for itself through simple hard work and strife for excellent taste.
Although Cheerios embodies the qualities of the ideal and perfect individual, to possess such a resume of virtues leaves no room for improvement and consequently offers no fire for motivation. Thus I select the Snickers candy bar as the better representative of my personality.
Essay 2
Stephanie used the following essay in her application to Princeton.
What one class, teacher, book, or experience can you point to as having really changed the way you think?
I discovered one of my favorite books, The Westing Game, by Ellen Raskin, in fourth grade. I read it because I was looking for something to read and my teacher had recommended it to the class, and because he had told us that those students whom he knew had read the book needed to reread the story a few years later before completely understanding the complex plot. I admit now that I bought the book more for the second reason than the first although I still maintain that I was a mystery-love-struck fourth grader with a voracious appetite for reading.
The plot revolves around the “murder” of the eccentric millionaire Samuel W. Westing and the challenge the “deceased” man poses to his sixteen potential heirs to uncover the identity of his killer. In the end, it is the neglected thirteen-year old Turtle Wexler who deciphers the Westing Game riddle and wins the inheritance. Her triumph was especially important to me because it instilled in my pliant young mind a strong belief of succeeding in areas where one is not expected to succeed. Westing’s meticulously planned “murder” and “game” confounded all the heirs but young Turtle, whose clever thinking and resourcefulness enabled her to piece together the complicated mystery.
Turtle’s spunky character also left a deep impression in my mind. In reading of her smart-alecky mouth, her flaring temper, and her independence, I felt myself applauding her “un-girl-like” behavior so shunned in other children’s novels. I did not believe that I would begin kicking people in the shins when someone provoked my temper, but I did treasure the idea that I did not have to bear the sweet, obedient facade of the “classic ladylike girl” as I had witnessed in The Babysitters’ Club series or in stories like Little Women. As a girl with a burning spirit of independence and resolve, I believed that I could outwit Supreme Court judges, doctors, and private eye detectives if I was brave and clever enough for the task!
Essay 3
Stephanie used the following essay in her application to Princeton.
If you could hold one position, elected or appointed, in government (at any level), which one would you want it to be and why?
In my opinion the most important and nationally influential position of government is one that affects the economic structure and stability of the country. The United States of America relies on the strength of its booming economy to bolster the nation’s wealth and prosperity, hence establishing the health and survival of the nation’s economy as an item of utmost importance. With this perspective in mind, to be appointed Federal Reserve Chairman of the United States would bring me the greatest honor and personal satisfaction.
As chairman of the Federal Reserve, I head the organization that controls the flow of money through the economy; by raising or lowering the nation’s interest rates I can cut down on inflation or encourage businesses and individuals to invest. I wield the executive axe that influences levels of employment and stabilities of prices, interest rates, financial, and foreign exchange markets. The Federal Reserve System serves as the “central bank and monetary authority of the United States” in that it has the power to regulate and set the interest rate standards for the nation’s banks.
I see the position of Federal Reserve Chairman as an office existing for the survival of the nation, dictating economic growth and prosperity, or possible financial disasters dating back to the period of the Great Depression. The Federal Reserve System supports the United States of America like a shell protecting an egg; without the Federal Reserve to reinforce and “calcify” the shell of the economy, the economy would crack and shatter. With America relying so heavily on the economy for employment and living, a ruptured economy would invariably result in a formless and withering nation, weak and easy prey to be exploited by other countries. As appointed chairperson I would make it my duty to protect the nation from such misuse and guide the United States into a new millennium of prestige.
Essay 4
Stephanie used the following essay in her application to Princeton.
What one or two suggestions would you have if asked about how to improve race relations in this country and around the world?
In improving any relationships, the best way for individuals to accept one another is to understand the background, culture, and beliefs of the other person; I believe that this “ethnic comprehension” is best conveyed through education. In a broad sense, such education encompasses both actual classroom learning of the culture and incorporation of that foreign race into the student body. Schools around the world should practice the concept of desegregation, breaking down ethnic barriers and establishing “homogenous student mixture-type” school systems. Foreign exchange student programs should be encouraged as well as the integration of inner city schools into more “well-rounded” school systems. My high school currently enrolls approximately ten to fifteen foreign exchange students and I would like to see the numbers increase as we move into the next century. Wethersfield High to my knowledge does not practice integration, but this concept too would play an influential role in spreading awareness of different ethnic cultures.
One cannot expect an immediate change in race relations by simply instigating a few measures. Aside from exposure to the different ideas and beliefs of foreign cultures, one must accept the difference psychologically; wars and friction always begin “in the minds of the people.” By incorporating ethnic diversity into the daily life of a young student, society is molding the child into a bastion for racial tolerance. Teachers claim that “students are the future,” and I must agree. When the youth of the world is exposed to a multitude of racial differences as a part of everyday life, discrepancies become the norm and any and all prejudices and stereotypes will hopefully melt away. We are all different only by mindset; once we learn to accept others on basis of their humanity and character, we will unlock the secret to the planet’s racial tolerance.
See this page to find out where this student got in.