Interactive Vocabulary - Amy E. Olsen 2017

Chapter 13. Romance
Part III. Relationships

How Do You Know?

NEWS

ADVICE

Dear Lee,

I can't tell you how many times I've come home from a party and lamented that I didn't approach a woman I was interested in. I'm extremely afraid of rejection. Are there any signals I should be looking for that can reassure me that a woman would welcome my talking to her?

Dejectedly, Worried Guy

Dear Worried,

There are many nonverbal clues that can disclose a person's feelings for someone. In fact, scientists have found that about 55% of human communication involves nonverbal signals. The tone of voice and the speed at which we speak usually account for 38% of the way a message is received. What we say is only about 7% of the actual message we get from each other. Here are a few nonver­bal signals to look for. When we are interested in another person, we tend to blink more often and our pupils automati­cally dilate. So look for enlarged pupils in the woman you are interested in. Also if a woman holds eye contact with you, that is an initial way to tell she is interested. To determine if the woman really likes you, notice if she points toward you. If a person is interested in someone, he or she will point a foot or a knee or aim a gesture toward the person. If that fork she is holding points toward you, introduce yourself.

Dear Lee,

I thought I liked this guy when we made eye contact across the room, but when we got close to each other, I totally lost interest. What happened?

Sadly, Turned Off By Hot Guy

Dear Turned Off,

The man. may have had a posture that showed confidence, which would impress you from across the room, but it could be his pheromones that turned you off when you got closer. Pheromones are chemical substances with one function being to attract a mate. More research is needed in humans to determine how much of an impact phero­mones really have, but several animals use pheromones to mark territory and to attract mates. The idea is that each person has a specific body odor that we often aren't consciously aware of. When you. find a person who exudes pheromones that are attractive to you, your nervous system responds by making you excited. There are many ways that people need to synchronize with each other in order to find an accept­able mate, so keep searching!

Dear Lee,

I like this woman, and I think she likes me too, but I need advice on how to get closer to her.

Truly, Wanting More

Dear Wanting,

When you are talking, does she rotate or lean in toward you? These are both clues that show a genuine interest in another person. If you feel that you are establishing a rapport with each other, try the accidental touch. It might seem a bit manipulative, but it is the next step in finding out if you connect with each other. Find an excuse to touch her, such as when handing her a drink, have your fingers touch, or when reaching to get the salt, rub your arm briefly on hers. Her reaction will let you know if she likes you or not.

Good luck!

Predicting

For each set, write the definition on the line next to the word to which it belongs. If you are unsure, return to the reading on page 86, and underline any context clues you find. After you've made your predictions, check your answers against the Word List on page 91. Place a checkmark in the box next to each word whose definition you missed. These are the words you'll want to study closely.

Set One

to interest

expressed grief

chemicals released by an animal

to make public

to make larger or wider

□ 1. lamented (line 3) ...

□ 2. disclose (line 12) ...

□ 3. dilate (line 23) ...

□ 4. impress (line 41) ...

□ 5. pheromones (line 43) ...

Set Two

real

gives off

controlling

a connection

to function together

□ 6. exudes (line 53) ...

□ 7. synchronize (line 56) ...

□ 8. genuine (line 67) ...

□ 9. rapport (line 69) ...

□ 10. manipulative (line 70) ...

Self-Tests

1 Circle the correct meaning of each vocabulary word.

1. synchronize:   differ   match

2. exude:    hold   release

3. manipulative:   freeing   controlling

4. lament:    mourn   celebrate

5. pheromones:   chemicals  food

6. genuine:    fake   real

7. impress:    interest   bore

8. dilate:     contract   enlarge

9. rapport:    clash   relationship

10. disclose:   make public  hide

2 Complete the reading using the vocabulary words from the list below. Use each word once.

Vocabulary list

rapport lament disclose dilate  impressed

exude genuine synchronized pheromones manipulative

Sam and Eva didn't know it when the night began, but their lives would be changed forever. Sam spotted Eva across the room. When Eva looked at Sam, her pupils began to (1)... (not that she was aware of this). Sam didn't notice it either, but he was (2)... by Eva's smile. It looked (3)... . She didn't look like she was being (4)... . Maybe she would really like him and not just want him to buy her drinks. He hoped he wasn't going to (5)... it, but he started toward her. She slid off her stool and met him halfway. The (6)... was instantaneous. There must have been something in the air.

Was it the flowers on the patio? The smell of barbeque? Or their (7)... sending out signals? As they talked, Sam began to (8)... more confidence. He felt everything was so right about their meeting. Before the night was over, they had (9)... their movements and begun to dream of a harmonious future together. I won't (10)... the next chapter in their adventure, but let's just say bells, a cake, and rings are involved.

3 Put a T for true or F for false next to each statement according to the information from the letters on page 86.

1. When you make a gesture toward a person, you exude a dislike for the person.

2. People might lament what happens if they don't pay attention to nonverbal signals.

3. You usually have a good rapport with someone if the person doesn't establish eye contact with you.

4. If you point a knee toward a person, it means you have synchronized movements.

5. Using nonverbal signals is manipulative.

6. A person's posture can impress people.

7. A person's eyes can disclose how he or she feels toward a person.

8. A man or woman shows genuine interest by leaning toward a person.

9. Pheromones have a strong odor like perfume.

10. A person's pupils dilate when he or she is interested in a person.

4 Complete the sentences using the words below. Use each word once.

Vocabulary list

rapport  lamented genuine dilate  pheromones

manipulated exuded disclosed impressed synchronize

1. After he failed the test, the student ... going to the party instead of studying.

2. The horrid smell that ... from my trunk reminded me that I had left the hamburger meat that I bought at the grocery in the car for three days.

3. I ... myself by getting a perfect score on the test.

4. Yvonne and I established a strong ... in the first hour that we met, and we have maintained that bond for the last ten years.

5. At a special meeting yesterday, the government ... the contents of files that had been sealed for forty years.

6. We should ... our watches to make sure we are both back at the car at the same time.

7. My husband seems so different from anyone I thought I might marry. It must have been his ... that originally attracted me to him.

8. The mother showed ... love for her baby as she rocked him in her arms and softly sang a lullaby.

9. Carol ... the place cards at the dinner table so she was sitting next to Bill, who she had been secretly interested in for the last six months.

10. The doctor had to ... my eyes during the examination to help see what might be wrong with them.

Identify the two vocabulary words represented in the drawings.

Interactive Exercise

Provide an example for each vocabulary word. Think of a situation, a person, or an object that in some way illustrates the meaning of the word.

Examples:

disclose a company announces a merger agreement

impress a man wearing a suit to an interview

1. dilate

2. exude

3. impress

4. manipulative

5. rapport

6. lament

7. synchronize

8. disclose

9. genuine

10. pheromone

Conversation Starters

Gather three to five friends or classmates and use one or more of the conversation starters below. Before you begin talking, have each person write down six of the vocabulary words he or she will use during the conversation. Share your lists with each other to check that you did not all pick the same six words. Try to cover all of the words you want to study whether you are reviewing one, two, or more chapters.

1. What are two goals you would like to accomplish within the next year? What preliminary steps do you need to take to achieve these goals?

2. Do you think people can make genuine friends online? How did you reach this decision— from your own experiences, those of people you know, or from what you have read?

3. How do you tell if someone likes you? Have you noticed any of the signals mentioned in Chapter 13? How aware are you of people’s body language?

4. What are the strongest relationships in your life? What makes these relationships valuable? What do you do to maintain these relationships?

Words to Watch

Which words would you like to practice with a bit more? Pick 3-5 words to study, and list them below. Write the word and its definition, and compose your own sentence using the word correctly. This extra practice could be the final touch to learning a word.