The little red writing book - Brandon Royal 2007
Personalize your examples
Style
Principle #7: Add personal examples to make your writing more memorable.
Principle 6 — use specific and concrete words to support what you say — is arguably the most important of all writing techniques. Principles 6 and 7 work in tandem and are incredibly important tools in writing as well as in speech making. Often personal examples go hand in hand with the use of the personal pronoun “I.” Do not be afraid to use this pronoun; it forces the writer to relate to the topic at hand in a way that is both personal and specific. Readers appreciate knowing how a situation relates to the writer (or speaker) in terms of his or her personal experience.
For example, the statement “Nigel is too busy to enjoy himself” is a general statement. The statement “Despite working at the local Co-op during the evenings, Nigel arrives home and diligently tackles his homework to prepare for next day’s classes” is a personal statement that makes the same point.
Personalizing examples makes them more memorable. The following examples will give you some idea of how to use generic and detailed support points. Detailed support points give the reader an idea of what the writer personally came away with as a result of such and such experience.
Note: In formal writing, as is the case when writing academic essays or business reports, it is standard practice to avoid the use of the personal pronoun “I.” The likely reason for this is that the focus in formal writing is on the work (document) itself and not on the writer’s personal opinions.
STATEMENT
I have analytical skills.
GENERIC SUPPORT POINT
Analytical skills help me work with numbers to both read and interpret financial statements. Analytical skills serve as objective measures and as the basis of good decision making.
DETAILED SUPPORT POINT
My time spent working at Accenture Consulting helped me develop an analytical mind set. I learned to reconcile what was said verbally with its financial reality. When a client said his or her problem was high costs, I systematically broke down total costs into their individual components. Once I knew where the numbers pointed, I looked for the stories behind these numbers. Sometimes the problem was not with high costs, as the client may have thought, but with another factor in the overall system.
STATEMENT
People are starving.
GENERIC SUPPORT POINT
People are starving — you can see it in their eyes and in the way their bones press against their skin.
DETAILED SUPPORT POINT
But it’s the faces you can’t forget; like images in a recurring nightmare, they keep coming back, haunted faces, staring blankly back from the windows of tumble-down hovels. The hollow lifeless eyes, skin stretched tight across backs, hands outstretched, dull listless eyes imploring. I move as if in a dream through the agony that is famine.
The above is an excerpt from the movie The Year of Living Dangerously, depicting the experiences of a young journalist stationed in Indonesia in the mid-1960s. This detailed support point also mimics the time-honored writer’s adage “show, don’t tell.” Also, writing on an emotional level helps ensure that the reader gets a firsthand account, not a secondhand one.
Another potential weakness in support techniques occurs when students present records of extracurricular involvement when applying to college or graduate school. Because of the keen competition for entrance to highly rated schools, a candidate should present solid support for his or her involvement. Applicants often fall short, only mentioning the names of their extracurricular activities and the hours of involvement. Notice how much more meaningful a presentation becomes when a candidate not only provides proper support for what is being said but also personalizes the writing by providing detailed support points.
PRESENTATION OF A HIGH SCHOOL EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITY
Varsity Debate Team Member
Santa Rosa High School
Sept 2010 to May 2011
Time
Seven to ten hours per week excluding library research and occasional weekend travel
Description
Competed in high school NDT debate and participated in individual speaking events; won two regional debate tournaments, Pomona Invitational and West Coast Challenge.
Summary
Debate taught me four things:
• to organize and defend coherent arguments
• to speak under pressure
• to develop excellent research skills
• to formulate strategies for beating tournament competitors
My time spent in debate taught me to develop affirmative and negative briefs to support and defend the resolution at hand. I learned to be ever mindful of the importance of anticipating both sides of an argument. For every argument there is an equal and opposite argument. It is here that I gained my first real insights into an old tenet of philosophy: “Only through contrast do we have awareness.”
Literary techniques also can be used to strengthen your personal or even business writing. Think of these writing techniques as optional tools to support the things you say in addition to examples and statistics.
ANECDOTES
Anecdotes are little stories used to embellish your point. For example, suppose you are writing about why we should follow our own path and not be unduly persuaded by the advice of others. You write:
This situation reminds me of the story of a young violinist who is burdened with thoughts of whether she possesses the talent to continue playing the violin and reach her lofty goal of becoming a virtuoso. Upon a fortuitous meeting with a master violinist, the young girl asks, “Will you listen to me play and tell me if you think I have the talent to be a virtuoso?” The master then responds, “If I listen to you play, and I feel you do not have the talent, what will you do?” The girl replies, “Since I value highly your opinion, I will stop playing.” The master remarks, “If you would quit because of what I would say, then you obviously do not have what it takes to be a virtuoso.”
QUOTATIONS
Including quotations, particularly those attributed to famous or well-known people, can be a persuasive tool. Quotations, when well chosen, make you look intelligent and/or add flair to your writing piece. Unfortunately, it is not always easy to recall an applicable quote from memory, and a little research will likely be needed. In addition to books that serve as quotation collections, there are many online quotation archives.
ANALOGIES
Analogies draw similarities between two otherwise dissimilar things and help the reader see a given relationship more clearly. For example, suppose you are writing an essay and want to stress the importance of making sales, particularly the relationship between the production department and the sales and marketing department. You might use the following “guns and bullets” analogy: “Production makes the bullets, marketing points the gun, and sales pulls the trigger.” This makes clearer the idea that the production department is responsible for making products, while the marketing department is responsible for determining where sales are to be found, and the sales department is responsible for actually going out and making sales.
Say, for example, you wish to use an analogy to describe the difference between a person’s personality and his or her mood swings. A climate-versus-weather analogy might be appropriate, such as: “Climate is like our fundamental personality traits, while weather is like our emotions and moods.”
SIMILES AND METAPHORS
Similes compare two unlike things and are usually introduced by “like” or “as.” An example of a simile is “A sharp mind is like a knife that cuts problems open.” Similes are relatively easy to use and can be powerful tools in presenting your ideas.
Metaphors literally denote that one thing is another (instead of one thing being like another), and the words “as” or “like” are not used. An example of a metaphor is “He has nerves of steel.”
Similes and metaphors are figurative comparisons, not actual comparisons. An example of an actual comparison is “Cindy is taller than Susan.” Even though the focus of this book is on expository writing — and the use of analogies, similes, and metaphors present techniques which touch on creative writing — there are still uses for such literary techniques in everyday writing. Sales letters provide an everyday business example where the use of creativity is used to grab the reader’s attention.
Ponder these opening lines:
A motivational or human resource company begins a sales letter with a simile:
Without a goal, a person is like a ship without a rudder.
A wine distributor advertises (by analogy):
Good wine and a good physician have one thing in common. They both can help extend your life!”
A bungee jump operator employs a metaphor:
Do you have the heart of a lion?”
EXERCISE
Try answering the following question:
How is a good idea like an iceberg?
Reflect on the statement above and write several one-sentence responses. Rest assured that by coming up with a half-dozen answers to this difficult example above, you will find crafting others for everyday writing purposes just that much easier.
See answers
